Well, this just breaks my heart.
Here we have this clearly awesome young lady writing to DC Comics in 1959 with some adventure ideas for her hero, Lois Lane. She suggests some fun careers (since, y'know, anything goes in the wacky Silver Age).
Then we get this very depressing response:
Reach for the stars, little Ethel!
The worst part is that I'm pretty sure the writers did end up stealing all of Ethel's ideas in later issues.
Er...did, um, "tumble" used to mean something else? In the fifties?
Cause otherwise the Comics Code Authority was a little looser than I thought.
I was checking out the novelization of Infinite Crisis, which is I guess for people who like superheroes but hate looking at them. I would like to offer this passage, which has Superman meeting up with Batman:
A solitary figure waited for him on an elevated walkway at the centre of the ravaged nerve centre. A stark black cloak and cowl were draped over the man's equally black body armour, so that he blended in with the shadows thrown by the faint blue light. Opaque white lenses concealed his eyes.
So, the stand out line here is opaque white lenses concealed his eyes. My thought when reading it was really? Has that been decided, then? The eyes of Batman have always been a subject of debate. There are basically two schools of thought:
1. He wears a mask with white, opaque lenses to conceal and protect his eyes.
2. He wears a mask that does not have lenses, because that would obstruct his vision. His eyes are just whited out in comics for aesthetic reasons.
For the most part, Batman's eyes are white when he wears the cowl. But the same goes for, like, a million billion other superheroes. I doubt Green Arrow has lenses in that little mask. It just looks cool when the eyes are whited out, and it's easier to draw.
In all Batman movies, and in some comics, the eyes are visible (Lee Bermejo and Alex Ross both show the eyes in their art, for example). Batman Begins had some grease paint around the eyes, which I think would be a lot of effort for our hero. They were careful in that movie to never show Batman with the cowl pulled off because the paint around the eyes would look silly.
I have no problem believing that Batman would have the lenses, but the problem is that the cowl never has white eyes when he isn't wearing it.
There is another possibility: retractable lenses. Batman The Animated Series had him changing his lenses to red sometimes so he wouldn't be blinded by his own flash bombs. So maybe the white lenses are also retractable.
So...any thoughts? I think Batman's eyes have always been one of the great mysteries of comic books. I don't like a novelization (of a book) casually removing the ambiguity.
DC Comics Presents #58 (Mike W. Barr and Curt Swann). Superman teams up with Robin and the Elongated Man. Should be the best comic ever, right? Well...as surprising as this may sound, it's actually kinda weird and confusing.
I can't possibly explain the villains they are fighting in this story. Some sorta weird film memorabilia collectors who use technology to make suits that make it impossible for anyone to touch them. That's the best I can do. The important thing is that everyone piles onto Superman's back and heads West. And that it looks hilarious:
California, here we come!
Superman is a jackass several times in this story. Here's one example. An unnecessary aerial loop:
Very considerate, Supes.
In the final showdown against the puzzling villains, Superman gets zapped with some kinda gun that sort of damages his eyesight:
Ok, so his vision is a little wonky. What does he do? He hightails it outta there!
Jackass! "You and Elongated Man are on your own!" Superman only operates at 100%. The slightest disability and he makes like a banana.
Superman needs to be introduced to a little someone named Daredevil.
So Superman flies to the Sun (in about 40 seconds...which I just don't think is realistic. I mean, sure. A solar-powered super alien might be fighting a group of untouchable techno thieves alongside a teenage boy and a man who gets stretchy when he drinks concentrated fruit juice, but instant trips to the Sun? I'm sorry...I just don't buy it).
Um...for ordinary humans going to the sun would cause death. I think we're way past the effects of staring at the sun, here.
Yup, well, Superman is right. It works like eye-drops. Then he returns (way too quickly) to Hollywood to finish the fight against the confusing villains. I'll give Robin and Elongated Man credit. They pretty much had this thing wrapped up on their own. There was just one small detail left for Superman to take care of: the bad guy was still conscious.
Ha! "No! Don't touch my belt buckle!"
I like how Elongated Man calls Robin "Robbie." And I like that he is telling NO ONE that his nose stopped twitching. If there were one more panel after this, I think it would be Superman turning around and saying "Your nose? What? Oh. Right. Twitches when it smells a mystery. Whatever."
I'll let the series of small reviews tell the tale:
Having sushi with Brad and Alex: JOHN APPROVED.
Going out for a beer or two afterward: JOHN APPROVED.
Having six or seven beer: NOT APPROVED.
Being drunk until noon the next day: NOT APPROVED.
Having a day off because of this, even if it was mostly spent hung over: JOHN APPROVED.
Breaking the bar's door on the way out: NOT APPROVED.
Making sure that they had my correct phone number so that I could pay for said door: Morally JOHN APPROVED/ Financially NOT APPROVED
Learning on Tuesday that I had called up a friend at midnight Sunday to demand that he build me a 'Laugh-o-Meter' that is capable of determining who could laugh the loudest: NOT APPROVED.
Learning that I was apparently persuasive enough that he is building it: JOHN APPROVED.
Overall: NOT APPROVED
If you need a Valentine's Day gift idea, might I suggest having your loved one's name inserted into a terrible song about Marvel heroes? Or perhaps...a whole CD of Marvel-based songs?
A multitude of delightful phoned-in songs that are vaguely creepy and factually incorrect. But you don't have to take my word for it...
Please click on this link and listen to the song samples. All of them. You won't regret it.
I would especially recommend the Wolverine Rap. The trilogy of Superwish, Fly With Me and Show and Tell is also incredible.
I would love to give this gift to a friend with a five-syllable name. See them work that in there.
Wouldn't this be awesome if they had Stan Lee record your kids name, and his crazy voice interrupted every song several times? "Let's set a trap for Doctor Octopus AARON."
And I thought Spider-Man Rocks! was lame.
All I'm saying is...DC doesn't do this shit.
Living Between Wednesdays is a place for people who love comic books and superheroes.
