My Spoiler-Free Mini-Review of TMNT
/I suppose it would be easiest to just come out and say it. I know how you value honesty.
As you probably know, I was in love with you for the better part of two years. Possibly even three, but I tried to downplay it during that last one. Your playful one-liners and carefree attitude, teamed with the fact that you were clearly the most attractive turtle, swept me off my feet. Alas, I was only nine years old, and you were well into your teens. I hoped that you would wait for me.
And now we've met once again, all these years later. I fear that, during our time apart, I have outgrown you. I am now an adult woman, and you remain a teenager, which, I have to say Mikey, is strange.
I was pleased to see that you are still looking well. Time has not dampened your zest for life, nor your sense of humour. You seem to be listening to younger, hipper music that makes me feel old, and perhaps "Spin That Wheel" and "Ninja Rap" were never really as good as I thought they were.
I guess what I am trying to say is, although I am still very fond of you, it is clear that our lives are very different now. You, an adolescent turtle living in the sewers of New York, and I a 26-year-old woman about to enter graduate school. I guess we weren't meant to be.
You will always be my favourite Ninja Turtle. I know most girls were attracted to Raphael's tough-guy loner attitude, but for me it was always you. I wish you all the best with your future, which I hope will be long. No doubt there will be other nine-year-old girls who look at you and hear wedding bells. One of them should be so lucky.
Truly,
Rachelle
This Week's Haul
/This week I ended up buying more than I thought I would. It's a decent amount, considering the lack of a Batman title.
Civil War: The Confession #1
This was just adorable. And...text-heavy in the classic Bendis style. I actually enjoyed it. I kinda like Bendis, even though his Spider-Man is gratingly annoying. Certainly better than Millar. Basically the whole point of this comic is to show that Iron Man isn't the total ass that Civil War led us to believe.
Am I crazy? I thought this was better than any of the other Civil War books. I know I'm a Marvel newbie, but...
One question: Captain America is shown with his blood-spattered shield resting on his dead body. Very powerful imagery and all that, but...how did his shield get all bloody? He didn't have it on him when he was shot.
So...is this an ongoing thing? It's #1. Are more confessions going to happen. Is Iron Man just going to sit next to Captain America's rotting corpse confessing every little thing that's been bothering him. ("Steve, you remember when you put that sandwich in the fridge at the Avenger mansion, and it disappeared? And you said you clearly labeled it "Captain America's Lunch," and you asked me if I'd seen it? Well, I totally ate it. I'm sorry. I know I said I didn't know what you were talking about, but I did. And...it wasn't worth it. That sandwich wasn't very good.").
Robin #160
I'm trying to make a decision about whether or not to start buying Robin regularly. I always enjoy it when I read it, and I really like Tim Drake as a character. It's a funner comic than Nightwing, but it's still not...quite...interesting enough. I dunno. Maybe because I don't regularly read Teen Titans. Should I be reading Teen Titans? Anyone?
This was pretty good. Sometimes I have to ask myself if I only read Robin because there's a chance that Batman will show up. Does that make me shallow? Anyway, he didn't show in this issue, and maybe that made me like it a little less than if he had. Also, this was one of two comics, Superman being the other one, that I read this week featuring a clumsily-written gangsta dude.
I do like Robin solving complex mysteries on his own. I have a soft spot for teenage detectives. And this one features a good amount of detective work. That was kinda cool.
Green Arrow #72
First of all, I am very sad that this is being canceled. I know it's fashionable to dislike Judd Winick, but I'm cool with him, and I think his writing suited the Green Arrow title nicely. This issue wraps up the Green Arrow/Batman team-up series. Like all Green Arrow comics, it was a fun read with cool art snappy hero/villain banter. Also, Green Arrow and Batman arguing, which is always a good time. The rumour is that this title is being replaced with a Green Arrow/Black Canary title. I guess I'm ok with that. It means a good female character more or less gets her own title, so I can't complain. I just hope we don't stray from the Green Arrow family of sidekicks, because I enjoy each and every one of them.
Superman #660
Full marks for this cover. Speech bubbles? Yay!
The Busiek run on Superman has been kinda...odd. It's been sort of Astro City-esque in the way that it stars Metropolis more than Superman, focusing on various minor characters and random Metropolis citizens. I liked last month's story about the religious old woman who believed Superman to be one of God's angels, and herself to hold the God-given power of summoning Superman to smite evil. What she doesn't get is that Superman is simply showing up whenever she prays for him because he can hear her with his super-hearing. God's not really a factor.
Anyway, that was last month. This month's issue focuses on the Prankster. It's his POV, and involves him instructing the reader on the art of the perfect prank. It's...pretty good, but I dunno. Does anyone else feel that All-Star Superman has ruined them for all other Superman stories? It's getting harder to impress me. Good effort, though, Kurt!
Wonder Woman #5
Ok, so we have a guest writer and artist. I like Will Pfeifer. I enjoy his work on Catwoman. I'm looking forward to his Amazons Attack mini-series. I had no problem with the writing of this comic (A little heavy-handed maybe...).
This issue is part five of Diana Prince's It's a Wonderful Life-style journey to learn whether or not the existence of Wonder Woman is any good for anybody. As it turns out, it is. In this issue we learn that a number of shelters for battered women were started up across America in Wonder Woman's name. The very idea of Wonder Woman has given countless women hope and the power to believe in themselves. Nice. Too bad when WW finally shows up in all her splendor...she's showing a little too much...splendor:
Aw, lady. Look at yourself. Boobs all falling out. Eagle head buried in cleavage. Not really enough material in the shorts to cover your whole crotch (nice Brazilian, by the way). You look so much better on the cover. I do approve of your flat boots, though.
But seriously, just bring the shorts out an inch or so to completely cover her crotch and you'll get far less eye-rolling from me. Check out the difference:
Slight, but important. And maybe her breasts should be a little more secure. IT'S WONDER WOMAN! A little respect, please. You wouldn't draw Superman with his balls all hanging out.
52 Week 45
Nice cover, once again. J.G. Jones has been rocking these things. Every single one is a winner.
So this is the big lead-in to World War III, it seems. And it looks like it's going to go down thusly: Black Adam versus...everyone else in the whole world. If I didn't have any advance knowledge of how things are going to turn out, I would be leaning toward betting on Black Adam. Dude is pissed. Other than learning that Black Adam is going to kill us all, and that Sivana is totally ready for a smack-down, not too much was learned in this issue. Oh, other than that Montoya is dressing like The Question...without really dressing like The Question. Just do it, Rene. Just do it and get it over with. You are boring me. If somebody asked me to be The Question, you better believe I'd do it. I'd be buying a royal blue suit so fast...
Grifter/Midnighter #1
Oh, Wildstorm. You have figured out the secret formula for getting my money. Midnighter + Anyone = $$. This is similar to the DC formula, which is Batman + Anyone = $$. Just imagine what you could charge me for Midnighter + Batman. (Please, please make that comic. It would be so...weird).
I don't know much about Grifter because I don't read WildC.A.Ts. Maybe I should, what with the Grant Morrison and all. Not much has happened in this series as of yet, but Midnighter is being his usual badass self. And that's good enough for me. Sigh. Call me, Midnighter!
Oh, Aaron, Let's Make a Film...
/So we have our Harvey Dent for the upcoming Batman movie, and it's Aaron Eckhart.
I basically have no opinion of this man, other than the fact that his name sounds a lot like Aaron Echolls creeps me out due to the amount of Veronica Mars I've been watching lately. And he looks a lot like Harry Hamlin to boot. So I'll probably never be able to think that he's not a psychopath. Which is good...what with him becoming Two-Face and all.
I do have this to say about him: he's about 40. Which is probably too old for a young DA starting up in Gotham. I like the idea of a 20-something year old actor getting the role a lot better.
There has also been some bizarre Dark Knight casting: the Rachel Dawes character will be returning, but this time played by Maggie Gyllenhaal. That's an improvement, but it's also...why bother? Just cut the character. He really doesn't need a love interest that badly.
But these are minor quibbles. I seriously can't wait for this movie.
This Week's Haul
/Alright, I'm gonna try something new here. I'm going to do what the blog title implies and start writing about my new comic book purchases each week. Unfortunately for me, this week happens to be a rather large haul.
Anyway, here they are in the order that I read them:
Captain America #25
Would you believe I made it through eight hours of a ten hour shift at a comic shop on a Wednesday before I learned the big spoiler for this issue? Then someone came in, grabbed the issue, and said "Is this the one where he dies?" I was like "What?" And he turns to the last page and says "Yep. It is." Noooooooooooo!!! I just started to like Captain America! We were going to be together forever, Steve! This was going to be the week where I start buying your book on a regular basis! And you go and die on me?! Bad manners, Steve.
I guess I'll have to focus on that dreamy Winter Soldier. Mmmm...younger, darker...more bionic.
I give this comic a thumbs up. It was definitely a good read and had more than one big surprise in it.
Detective Comics #829
Ok, first of all: ewwwwwww!!! That cover is so wrong for so many reasons! I love how Batman is skipping into the room.
Beyond the cover, I couldn't decide if I liked Andy Clarke's art or not. I still don't know. I do know that I like it more than Don Kramer's art in the previous Detective run, but that's not saying much. Little things can really bother me, like...I refuse to believe that Bruce Wayne wouldn't be wearing a more fitted suit:
And since the whole story is about how he can't change into his Batman costume, we can assume that he's not wearing it underneath, and thus there is no reason for him to be wearing that ill-fitting off-the-rack affair.
The story is alright. Batman and Robin (in a red-breasted tuxedo...cute) have to save everyone inside the Wayne Tower from a terrorist without being too obvious about their secret identity. Oh, and the terrorist shoots plastic explosives out of a gun, so THAT'S what Robin is covered in on the cover. Still, though, did it have to be dripping off his chin?!
52: Week 44No word on poor Ralph Dibny's status in this issue. Please don't be dead, Ralph. This issue is Black Adam family-centric, and that's cool. The end seems to be in sight for his character's storyline. Ditto with Montoya.
Probably the most exciting thing for me in this issue was the inside back cover ad for Countdown promising a search for Ray Palmer. Yay!
Superman/Batman #32
Oh dear. Can't these two just get along?
Again, I don't know what I think of the art in this book, this time by Matthew Clark and Ron Randall. Sometimes it looked kinda good. Sometimes it looked all messy. I don't know how I feel about this storyline, either. I was kinda into the idea in general, of all the aliens being turned against Earth, but I think the fact that Superman was "cured" by remembering that he's in love with Lois was pretty damn lame. I actually threw up a little. And why the hell was Lobo in the book? Seriously, it was the most pointless and random cameo ever. Was it just to add an action figure to the next Superman/Batman toy series?
I don't know if you've picked up on this now from reading this blog, but my love for both Batman and Superman is infinite. So this should be my favourite book, right? It really isn't, and that bothers me. From the beginning it's been letting me down on a weekly basis. It's not terrible, it's just not great. Why can't it be great?!
Justice League of America #6
I chose the Adam Hughes cover over the Michael Turner cover because it's the lesser of two evils. Plus I like to support any decision to put a speech bubble on a cover. And, I'll say this for Hughes, this cover really isn't as gross as it could have been. And I've certainly seen worse Black Canary covers:
Like all previous issues of JLA, I liked this comic a lot. It had two big ass battles in it and both were awesome. Plus I always enjoy how Meltzer peppers his narration with fun facts about science and nature. You can really learn a lot from Brad Meltzer. This week I learned about tornadoes, falcons, organ failure, and how to defeat a robot who has the combined powers of the entire Justice League.
My only real complaint is Wonder Woman's shorts, which, once again, are lacking:
Midnighter #5
Ah, Midnighter. I saved you because I love you so much. Midnighter has consistently been my favourite series since it started. It's a lot of fun, and it's totally possible to enjoy it even if you never read a single page of Authority comics. Midnighter is oft called a Batman rip-off, but it's really more of a tribute. Plus, he's Batman + Wolverine + Punisher multiplied by awesome plus gay. This book looks great, is completely entertaining, and has lead me to say "holy crap!" outloud while reading more often than most books. (This week I said it at least three times). I also laugh out loud pretty frequently while reading it. Midnighter, I know you don't like girls, but if you ever change your mind about that...or about being fictional...I am totally waiting for you.
The Authority #2
And onto Authority, for this week I get a double shot of my baby's love (my baby being Midnighter. Keep up).
Yes, it's been, what, two years since the last issue of this came out? I don't even remember what happened last time. But who cares? Grant Morrison + Gene Ha = quality. I can tell this is going to get awesome. It's already pretty damn fun.
Can someone answer me this because I'm too lazy to check: have they always bleeped out the swearing in the Authority comics? I was sure that they were leaving it in. But it's all bleeped in this one. Boooo. But yay for putting all the ads in the back so Ha's amazing art isn't interrupted by that damn Final Fantasy quiz ad (although, I also noticed that there are only two ads in the whole book that aren't for DC. Aw. No one wants to advertise in Authority? Sounds like Wildstorm needs a plucky young advertising sales rep. I just so happen to have my resume handy...).
Shazam! The Monster Society of Evil #2
Aw, man. Is this really only going to last 4 issues? I am so in love with this book. It should be at least as long as, say, Omac. Oh well.
Yep, I don't even know what to say. Looks great. Seriously fun. Seriously funny. And totally adorable. And the aligator monsters yelling "We've lost! Quick! Eat the children!" is definitely one of my favourite comic book quotes in recent memory. This comic is doing everything right. Well done, Mr Smith.
Scalped #3
And we go from totally adorable to totally...not.
I figured it was about time that I get on on the ground floor with a Vertigo title, so I've been picking up Scalped since the first issue. Despite an over-reliance on creative profanity, this is a really good read. I don't really have much to say about it, other than I feel that it's going to keep getting better as it goes on. And, seriously, the apparent need of writer Jason Aaron to come up with cool new R-rated insults only distracts from the high quality of the story. Like, yeah. I had a Scarface poster in my dorm room too, Aaron.
So that about does it for this week. I didn't pick up Jonah Hex because I buy that in trade format. I'm sure it's great, though.