Let's Rap!

In 1970, DC got its two squarest heroes to convince kids to fill out a survey.

"Let's Rap!" says Superman, fooling no one.

You can jive talk all you want, Supes. It only makes you look older.

We dig, Superman.

"Groovy?" Take another hit, you hippy!

Anyway, let's see what "groovy" things kids can choose from.

Wait, I'm sorry. What was that?

Yup, wedged right in there between Pollution and Space Flights.

Also of note on that list, Sports - which one (with nowhere to write which one) and Astrology. Not astronomy. Astrology. I would like to read a comic that involves everything on that list. Black astrologists who fly into space to solve city and national problems like pollution. Also, they play sports and fall in love. And have hobbies. (Hobbies is so vague. I love it).

It's worth reading the rest of that survey too.

Comic Shop Love

It's time to celebrate comics once again with the results of another contest. A couple of weeks ago I asked people to send me photos of their favourite comic shop. Specifically, themselves holding their favourite comic in their favourite comic shop. Or their favourite comic shop employee holding their favourite comic. Or whatever.

Here's what I got!

Chris Haley sends photos of Comics & Collectibles in Memphis, TN. (Oh Memphis, how I long to visit you). As Chris notes in his email, the shop uses the classic Fantastic Four font. Nice!

Here's Chris holding All-Star Superman:

And here's his favourite shop clerk, Sean, holding X-Factor:

They are dressed the same. I can't help but notice that.

Dave Prosser wrote a lovely tribute to his favourite shop in this blog entry. It's Bizarro Wuxtry, in yet another legendary music town, Athens, Georgia.

Sadly, Dave had to move away from his beloved comic shop. It looks like a seriously hip shop.

Kevin Johns takes liberties with the definition of "comic shop" by sending a photo of himself and Z-Cult FM. That's not even an online store! That's an online stealing place!

Anyway, he likes Daredevil. Stolen Daredevil.

Christina sends photos of Acme Superstore in, I believe, Orlando Florida.

Here she is reading Transformers under a big Spiderman.

I like the look of those barstools. I could loiter for hours on one of those!

Here's her friend Colleen holding Sandman, under a giant Batman.

Ivonne likes Runaways (and punching):

And here's all three of them, with some more fave selections:

Jurassic Park comic! Awesome! (Man, someone was asking about those in the store the other day).

Oh, and Cuddle Pillow Batman likes Countdown, because, as Christina says, "it's how he keeps up with Joker."

Heather did a livejournal post about her favourite shop, Comic Oasis in Las Vegas (Man, does everyone live somewhere cooler than me?). You can read it here. And here's some of the pictures:

Her favourite comic is Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane (yay!):

Here's the owner, Derrick, and some of the staff (Charles, Holly and Margo).

And another interior shot that shows the vastness of the Comic Oasis:

Mike, (Batmanisgrim) sent some pictures of Bullseye Cards and Comics, which is sadly now closed. I believe it was in NYC, but I'm actually not sure.

Here's the owner, Rich:

It looks like they had a lot of selection:

Mike also says that his very favourite store was called The Memory Bank, and he wrote this about it:

The best comic book shop I have ever been to and ever will were owned by two sisters. They were around for twenty years and at one point they opened a second store and each sister ran each store. The store was called The Memory Bank and the reason for that was for they would give you coupons based on how much you spent. Those coupons could be used to buy anything in the store. I was really close to the sister that ran the store near me. I was one of her better customers, so she would give me free boxes and good deals on items. I considered her to be a friend. When the new comics would come in, she would even call me to tell me so. When I first started going to the store, it was at a time when comics would come out on Tuesday and Wednesday then it went exclusively to Wednesdays. Then one day Vicky called me from her home and it wasn't Wednesday. She was in a car with her sister, Mona, and a drunk driver hit their car. Vicky had broken her leg and she watched her sister die beside her.
The reason she was calling me was to tell me that she would have the comics when she recovered. Of course I told her that she had more important things to worry about and that I was loyal to her. The second store had to be closed and four months later I went back when the original store had reopened. On that day I purchased four months of comics in one day. Add this to the fact that I also bought my friend's comics it was quite a comic book bill that day. The only comic I missed was Nightwing Huntress #1, which I did purchase a few months ago at the NY Comic Con.I went to the store for another four years and that was how long it took for the lawsuit against the drunk driver to go through. Once she received her settlement she decided it was time to close up shop. Once that shop closed, that was the end of the greatest comic book shop I will ever know. Before I went to her store she used to have art contests among the patrons. The winner of one of her contests was Joe Madureira. She gave me the winning entry.

And finally, we have the winner of the contest, which was scientifically chosen by drawing names out of a hat. Jon Hex sends photos and writes about Big Monkey Comics in Washington DC.

Here he is, being indecisive and holding Batman and All-Star Superman (I guess he's deciding on Grant Morrison).

Nice shirt!

Big Monkey Comics is owned by Scipio of The Absorbascon. Here he is hosting a Quiz Bowl:

From what I can tell, Big Monkey hosts lots of things, like Heroclix tournaments and podcast recordings.

Here's another pic from that Quiz Bowl that shows the store manager, Devon, who writes the Seven Hells! Blog:

And here are some of the staff recommendations, nicely presented:

Congrats, Mr Hex. You have a copy of The Spirit #1 a-comin' your way, signed by Darwyn Cooke! It's compliments of Strange Adventures.

Thanks everyone for sending me your photos and sharing. Yay for comic book shops, a safe haven for nerds everywhere! Possibly the only place where you can go and confidently think "Well, at least I'm not as nerdy as that guy."

No Super Hunk This Week

I'm very sorry. I was trying to find time to rate a super hunk, but I've been very busy lately with other things. Too busy for super hunks. It's terrible.

Instead I'll share this letter with you, from issue #80 of Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane.

I don't know what the worst part is: that Tim Toth of Calgary asked, or that the editor answered.

Actually, the worst part is everything.

Just so you know, this is what prompted his letter:

Tim, if you like that hot action, you might want to check out a little comic called Archie.

Contest Reminder and Fun With Iron Man

Just a quick reminder that there are only two days left to email me some photos of your favourite comic book shop. All contributors will be entered to win a copy of the fabulous first issue of The Spirit, signed by Darwyn Cooke.

I just watched Fantastic Four again, so I'm all set for Rise of the Silver Surfer this Friday. It will be great.

I was thinking about the upcoming Iron Man movie today, and you know what's going to be really great about it?

The Milk ads.

Review of Some Robots, Part 1, By Johnathan

Ah, the Metal Men. They, in all of their vaguely-educational glory, are my latest semi-obsession.

Assuming that someone who's not a comic book nerd is reading this, a quick description of the Metal Men and what they stood for:

The Metal Men were a group of robots created by Dr. Will Magnus. Thanks to a bit of technology called a "responsometer" they were astonishingly human-like, with genuine personalities and everything. As the name suggests, they're all made out of a different metal, and they're obsessed with that metal. Seriously, check it out:

That's their first appearance but really, they talk like that all the time. Every second sentence is about melting points or ductility or something like that. Luckily they're entertaining as hell, so it doesn't get old. Metal Men fans note: the third sentence out of Mercury's mouth is the "liquid at room temperature" bit.

The Metal Men are cool on a lot of levels: first, they've got real personalities - they're not just a bunch of clones of every other super-team of the 1960s. Tin's inferiority complex and Mercury's arrogance were especially unusual for heroes of the time. Plus, Tina the Platinum robot was in love with Doc Magnus, which led to sufficient dramatic tension to fuel a battleship.

But enough about the Metal Men! Entertaining as they are, they're not the focus of this series of reviews. Rather, I'm going to write about the other elemental robots who appear in the series, because there are a lot of them. They creep in around the edges, whether as antagonists or as bit characters in the little "Metal Facts" sections that appeared in every issue.

The very first of these characters came as a pair:

Aw, look at them. So generic. Not only did Copper and Silver have some lousy character design problems, they evidently had the wrong names - I'm pretty sure that that's what the Romans are so surprised about. Still, there's one thing that this panel did well: set precedent. It said "why show the kids boring lumps of metal when you can anthropomophise? And robotiform?"

For that reason, Copper and Sillver are JOHN APPROVED.

This one's interesting. It's from a page about gold and features three Metal Men-as-knights in the centre, flanked by a couple of Generic Metal Dudes (GMDs). I gotta say, when I started writing this review I thought it'd be easy to figure out who these guys were supposed to be, but after ransacking half of the Alchemy sites on the internet I don't have much. GMD on the left might be Antimony and GMD on the right might be Arsenic, but probably not. Darned artists forty years ago... didn't they realize that someone would obsess about that sort of thing someday? Plus, Gold is looking kind of fat.

NOT APPROVED

And Now The Moondancers!

I've been known to complain about the current Superman/Batman series, because it is so crappy. But sometimes you just gotta pull out an old issue of World's Finest to remind yourself that it wasn't all solid gold either.

This issue is many things, but mainly:

a) Melodramatic
b) Ridiculous
c) Romantic

It takes place during that angst-ridden time when Batman and Superman broke up and Batman formed the Outsiders with his new loser friends ("I don't need you, Superman! I've got...Geo-Force! And Halo!").

Alright, so in fair Cape Canaveral, where we lay we scene, our star-crossed lovers are sad:

Superman is thinking that, though he isn't too fond of Batman of late, he doesn't really want him to die. It's really beautiful:

And why is Batman dying? Cause of these bitches:

Who wants to be the Moondancers for Halloween with me?! I call Harvest Moon! (And, for the record, the lone black Moondancer is called 'New Moon,' but her powers are ice-based because she represents the dark side of the moon. For real).

These ladies spray Batman with some weird moon virus.

And help they (Nasa scientists/the army) get, in the form of Batman's ex-best friend, Superman. Awk-ward.

But Superman sees Batman's lifeless body and rises above their petty differences with this bit of angst-ridden soul-searching:
God, I could look at that panel of them having coffee together all day.

Anyway, in the few hours or so that Batman is sick, Gotham City goes to hell. Even more so.

Wow. That...that's a real mess you got there, Gotham. This is what Bruce Wayne would see if he ever did the It's A Wonderful Life thing with his guardian angel.

So, as you can imagine, Commissioner Gordon is also missing Batman, and hoping for his speedy recovery. It's touching:

This is why Gotham is a hopeless mess. It's police officers get distracted by shooting stars. "And look down there, Commissioner! A tank is busting through a bank wall and over some police cruisers!"

Meanwhile, Superman is flying around space looking for a cure for Batman's alien virus. He finds one in a comet somehow. It's not important. He rushes back to Earth with it, and then whips together this little contraption:

What does it do? I don't know. But get ready for a fantastic panel of Superman watching...and waiting!

"Come on...come on! Go, respiration, go!"

Guess what? It works. And it makes for an uncomfortable, and adorable, reunion:

Superman flies off to do stuff so Batman can sleep. But he leaves him unattended, and guess who strolls in:

You suck, Superman.

Superman's living it up in Gotham, putting the fear of God back into the hearts of criminals. One thing he does is disconnect the fuse of a bomb some crooks are using to blow up a bank vault. It's awesome:

And then he chills with Gordon for a second, who still doesn't seem to be doing much about the whole explosion of crime that is tearing his city apart:

I think he may just have said to hell with it and hit the bottle. "Thanks, shooting star! I'll keep the faith!"

Alright, so Superman decides to maybe check in on his sick pal, who happens to have been knocked unconscious by the Moondancers.

"We've got to find them, and fast! But first I have to go back and get my gloves!"

As it turns out, the Moondancers are anti-nuclear activists who feel that their means justifies their end. But who really cares? Let's watch Superman and Batman kick their asses:

Er, well. Just Batman, then.

That's about all you need to see of that story. Except maybe these panels of Batman climbing and straddling a giant phallus:

EPILOGUE:

The Moondancers made a final appearance in Grant Morrison's Animal Man #25 in that comic book limbo place for forgotten characters:

Good riddance.