Rating the Super Hunks #10: Cyclops

Time to rate another super hunk. I'm shopping in the Marvel universe this week and have chosen the fearless, somewhat weinerish leader of the X-Men...

Cyclops, aka Scott Summers

"Would you like it to be?"

Costume/Appearance:

The question that we have to ask ourselves when rating Cyclops' costume is: which one? This guy has worn a lot of costumes over the years, rivaling even the number of women that he's bedded.

I think we'll dismiss the original costume for the sake of rating his hunkiness, because it was a standard issue X-Men uniform that he shared with his teammates. I'm also ignoring Ultimate Cyclops, because that's just how I roll. When I was a kid I thought the very bright blue and yellow 90s suit was very cool. Though, now that I am older and it is no longer the nineties. I think the straps all over his chest and shoulders are pretty ugly.

He can yell stuff while tongue kissing.

It was similar to the eighties suit, but didn't have the swashbuckling boots that I find so silly-looking. Basically I like the boots and hair-revealing of the nineties, plus the simplicity of the eighties. If we could combine all that, we'd have a nice costume.

I know it's not the focal point here, but his boot kinda looks like a big ol' mushroom.

The Morrison run on New X-Men had him in a pretty stylish leather get-up, with a big yellow X on the jacket.

Those are the loosest cuffs i have ever seen on a bomber jacket.

And in the new Astonishing X-Men series, he's lookin' superfly in his mostly black skin-tight wetsuit thing:

wasn't the point of this costume change to look less menacing?

Except I don't approve of the skullcap. I like hair being tossed around in battle.

The consistent factor here is the red visor, which is very cool. Always. Also cool: when not in costume, Scott always has to wear stylish red sunglasses. Or the visor. Either way: cool.

these are my beach jeans.

"i think they'll respond a lot better to a black wetsuit."

Scott generally is, and always has been, a very attractive man. I've especially enjoyed him lately in Astonishing with his constant stubble. It shows that he's loosening up a bit. Or going crazy. Either way, it looks good.

Unfortunately for Scott, he is usually standing next to an X-Men teammate who is a little dreamier than himself (Angel, Colossus...some would argue Wolverine. I wouldn't).

"And i know a thing or two about eyes popping!"

He's got your basic, rugged, all-American good looks. And a nice messy hairdo.

What percentage of this meal was cooked with his eyes?

8/10

Personality:

The thing about Cyclops is that he has grown on me as I have aged. When I was young, Cyclops was always the lame X-Man. And he was supposed to be. He's like Leonardo: the stick-in-the-mud, responsible leader type who frowns on everyone else's fun. He has almost no personality. But as an adult I now have a growing respect for Scott Summers. He really did have to lead team after team of annoying weirdos.

Where is that current one going?

But it's not like he did it without complaining. Dude is emo to the max. To the point that, even though he certainly will sleep with you, you're better off not doing it because you're just going to feel like you're taking advantage. He is perpetually on the re-bound for a woman who is perpetually turning into the Phoenix and dying.

"Uh...no. It's hank."

But the dude gets around. He's your classic can't-ever-be-alone-for-one-second guy, jumping from one relationship to the next and falling deeply in love until he sees another girl.

emma wears more to bed than to work.

Is any of this sexy? Not really. Add to it the fact that there is kind of an ominous borderline psychoticness that I feel lurks just below Scott's deceivingly dull surface, and you're looking at a guy who is getting points deducted.

6/10

i think he's gonna be ok.

Day Job:

He's currently the headmaster of the Xavier Academy, along with being the leader of the X-Men. Aside from this, he is also an expert pilot, which is always sexy.

It looks kinda like they are watching themselves on a movie screen.

9/10

Sexiness of Powers:

There is nothing particularly sexy about having uncontrollable deadly blasts shoot out of your eyes. But it does look cool.

Bobby left ten minutes ago.

The main reason why Cyclops' power isn't sexy is because he loathes it so much. Superpowers are only sexy if you enjoy them.

Although...

at this point you may as well just take the shorts off.

6/10

Tentacle porn.

Cons:

Beyond the already mentioned facts that Scott is kinda boring, very needy, very emo, and perhaps more than a little crazy, Scott doesn't have too many glaring flaws. He's a good leader who is usually respected by his teammates. Even the ones he doesn't sleep with. I'm still deleting points for all of the above, though.

- 4

i'm 100% on board with what's happening here.

Final Score: 25/40

Sorry, Scott. I tried to defend you, but you have so many glaring faults it's difficult. There's no shame in 25. It's a passing grade.

God, don't mention warren when you're trying to win a girl, doofus. you'll lose!

Solicitation Mania!

New DC Fall Solicitations!

Let's have a looksee:

Who in hell is going to buy the Batman Confidential hardcover?

I don't even know anyone who is buying the issues.

Hey, look what's gonna be a poster!

A little something to spruce up the ol' steam room. (I wish I had a steam room).

On the flip side, this is going to be a poster:

Batman can punch you in the face every single night before bed, and every morning when you wake up!

Awesome covers ahead:

This one, for Superman Confidential #8, is so beautiful that I want to cry. It also makes me really happy about the future of this comic:

Here's another beauty (The Spirit #10):

Here is what they are saying about Aquaman #56:

Further revelations abound concerning the murky past of the new Aquaman as he steps forward to embrace his future. He’d better get used to people calling him “Aquaman,” because it seems he’ll be around for a long time in the DCU! Find out why in this issue!

You've got my attention, DC.

More McGuinness-inspired Superman/Batman figures. Composite Superman/Batman!!! (My ideal husband):

There's a lot of awesome ahead from DC, it looks like (and I don't mean those action figures above). I am especially excited about the amount of work that J. Torres is going to be getting. Having him write a new Wonder Girl mini-series? Brilliant!

Oh, and this is weird:

COUNTDOWN PRESENTS THE SEARCH FOR RAY PALMER: WILDSTORM #1
Written by Ron Marz
Art by Paco Herrera
Cover by Arthur Adams
The Search for Ray Palmer truly kicks into high gear, as Kyle Rayner, Donna Troy and Jason Todd scour the Multiverse for the former Atom, who just might hold the key to saving reality from a crisis of unparalleled proportions. The trio's first stop: the Wildstorm Universe, where they come face-to-face with an entirely different -- and entirely more lethal -- brand of heroes. Wildstorm's finest are all here, including The Authority and Gen13, and they don't prepare a warm welcome for their visitors! The tour of the new DC Multiverse begins here!

Wildstorm Universe, eh? Huh.

Ann = Awesome

Sometimes you find an old comic that you want, but the kid who used to own it wrote on the cover, and it kind of sucks.

But sometimes it's kind of awesome.

My Spoiler-Free Mini-Review of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Silver Surfer! Whoosh!

I had a really good time at this movie, but I am of the camp that didn't hate the first one. I thought that Iaon Gruffudd stepped it up as Reed Richards, and Chris Evans and Michael Chiklis continued to be great. My only complaints were Sue Storm's eye make-up, which was ridiculously trampy, and just plain bad-looking, for the entire movie, and Dr Doom, who still sucked.

The problem with Dr Doom, besides the fact that the writers took some serious liberties with the character, is that Julian McMahon really, really phones him in. It's like, he gets to play Dr Doom in a movie, and he could care less. It's depressing. His Doom voice (or lack thereof) is so distracting. He does, however, have more costume changes than Cher on her farewell tour.

These are two fairly minor problems with a movie that, overall, was fun, cool-looking, and entertaining. It's an honest-to-God superhero movie with crazy comic book action. Plus, and this is a little spoilery, Stan Lee plays himself in the movie. It made my mind explode.

I'm happy to chat about the specifics of the movie in the safety zone of the comment thread.

Let's Rap!

In 1970, DC got its two squarest heroes to convince kids to fill out a survey.

"Let's Rap!" says Superman, fooling no one.

You can jive talk all you want, Supes. It only makes you look older.

We dig, Superman.

"Groovy?" Take another hit, you hippy!

Anyway, let's see what "groovy" things kids can choose from.

Wait, I'm sorry. What was that?

Yup, wedged right in there between Pollution and Space Flights.

Also of note on that list, Sports - which one (with nowhere to write which one) and Astrology. Not astronomy. Astrology. I would like to read a comic that involves everything on that list. Black astrologists who fly into space to solve city and national problems like pollution. Also, they play sports and fall in love. And have hobbies. (Hobbies is so vague. I love it).

It's worth reading the rest of that survey too.

Comic Shop Love

It's time to celebrate comics once again with the results of another contest. A couple of weeks ago I asked people to send me photos of their favourite comic shop. Specifically, themselves holding their favourite comic in their favourite comic shop. Or their favourite comic shop employee holding their favourite comic. Or whatever.

Here's what I got!

Chris Haley sends photos of Comics & Collectibles in Memphis, TN. (Oh Memphis, how I long to visit you). As Chris notes in his email, the shop uses the classic Fantastic Four font. Nice!

Here's Chris holding All-Star Superman:

And here's his favourite shop clerk, Sean, holding X-Factor:

They are dressed the same. I can't help but notice that.

Dave Prosser wrote a lovely tribute to his favourite shop in this blog entry. It's Bizarro Wuxtry, in yet another legendary music town, Athens, Georgia.

Sadly, Dave had to move away from his beloved comic shop. It looks like a seriously hip shop.

Kevin Johns takes liberties with the definition of "comic shop" by sending a photo of himself and Z-Cult FM. That's not even an online store! That's an online stealing place!

Anyway, he likes Daredevil. Stolen Daredevil.

Christina sends photos of Acme Superstore in, I believe, Orlando Florida.

Here she is reading Transformers under a big Spiderman.

I like the look of those barstools. I could loiter for hours on one of those!

Here's her friend Colleen holding Sandman, under a giant Batman.

Ivonne likes Runaways (and punching):

And here's all three of them, with some more fave selections:

Jurassic Park comic! Awesome! (Man, someone was asking about those in the store the other day).

Oh, and Cuddle Pillow Batman likes Countdown, because, as Christina says, "it's how he keeps up with Joker."

Heather did a livejournal post about her favourite shop, Comic Oasis in Las Vegas (Man, does everyone live somewhere cooler than me?). You can read it here. And here's some of the pictures:

Her favourite comic is Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane (yay!):

Here's the owner, Derrick, and some of the staff (Charles, Holly and Margo).

And another interior shot that shows the vastness of the Comic Oasis:

Mike, (Batmanisgrim) sent some pictures of Bullseye Cards and Comics, which is sadly now closed. I believe it was in NYC, but I'm actually not sure.

Here's the owner, Rich:

It looks like they had a lot of selection:

Mike also says that his very favourite store was called The Memory Bank, and he wrote this about it:

The best comic book shop I have ever been to and ever will were owned by two sisters. They were around for twenty years and at one point they opened a second store and each sister ran each store. The store was called The Memory Bank and the reason for that was for they would give you coupons based on how much you spent. Those coupons could be used to buy anything in the store. I was really close to the sister that ran the store near me. I was one of her better customers, so she would give me free boxes and good deals on items. I considered her to be a friend. When the new comics would come in, she would even call me to tell me so. When I first started going to the store, it was at a time when comics would come out on Tuesday and Wednesday then it went exclusively to Wednesdays. Then one day Vicky called me from her home and it wasn't Wednesday. She was in a car with her sister, Mona, and a drunk driver hit their car. Vicky had broken her leg and she watched her sister die beside her.
The reason she was calling me was to tell me that she would have the comics when she recovered. Of course I told her that she had more important things to worry about and that I was loyal to her. The second store had to be closed and four months later I went back when the original store had reopened. On that day I purchased four months of comics in one day. Add this to the fact that I also bought my friend's comics it was quite a comic book bill that day. The only comic I missed was Nightwing Huntress #1, which I did purchase a few months ago at the NY Comic Con.I went to the store for another four years and that was how long it took for the lawsuit against the drunk driver to go through. Once she received her settlement she decided it was time to close up shop. Once that shop closed, that was the end of the greatest comic book shop I will ever know. Before I went to her store she used to have art contests among the patrons. The winner of one of her contests was Joe Madureira. She gave me the winning entry.

And finally, we have the winner of the contest, which was scientifically chosen by drawing names out of a hat. Jon Hex sends photos and writes about Big Monkey Comics in Washington DC.

Here he is, being indecisive and holding Batman and All-Star Superman (I guess he's deciding on Grant Morrison).

Nice shirt!

Big Monkey Comics is owned by Scipio of The Absorbascon. Here he is hosting a Quiz Bowl:

From what I can tell, Big Monkey hosts lots of things, like Heroclix tournaments and podcast recordings.

Here's another pic from that Quiz Bowl that shows the store manager, Devon, who writes the Seven Hells! Blog:

And here are some of the staff recommendations, nicely presented:

Congrats, Mr Hex. You have a copy of The Spirit #1 a-comin' your way, signed by Darwyn Cooke! It's compliments of Strange Adventures.

Thanks everyone for sending me your photos and sharing. Yay for comic book shops, a safe haven for nerds everywhere! Possibly the only place where you can go and confidently think "Well, at least I'm not as nerdy as that guy."