Rating the Super Hunks #13: Green Arrow

Time to rate another Super Hunk. It's been awhile. I thought it would be timely to rate the soon-to-be-married emerald archer,

GREEN ARROW, AKA OLIVER QUEEN

Costume/Appearance: It's really hard to take Oliver Queen seriously. And I blame that 100% on the moustache and goatee. It's not a good look. For anyone. Unless you are someone's grandfather. Or a magician.

Trying to look past that, his costume is often pretty cool. I mean, the hat is a bit much, but he kinda works it. It adds a bit of playfulness, which is nice. I've been really liking the recent costume, with the hood. The whole look is less Robin Hood. Definitely more attractive than the laced-up turtleneck.

I mean, obviously there is still the facial hair problem. But it's an improvement.

But now let's talk about Silver Age Green Arrow. Now there was an attractive fellow! I don't know why you would every stray from this rugged and attractive look:

Clean cut. Simple suit with nice lines. Big red gloves. Matching child. That's just a sharp look. I have quite a crush on Silver Age Green Arrow.

Lately we've been treated to a new version of young Oliver in Green Arrow: Year One. I think this is an Oliver that we can all agree on:


So basically, Oliver is going to lose a bunch of points here for facial hair alone. Five minutes with a razor would earn him many points, but he insists on keeping this crazy look. Too bad, Ollie.

6/10

Personality: I've always liked Green Arrow because he cracks wise and drinks beer and flirts a lot and generally has a good time. He's a bleeding heart liberal and loves his city so much he successfully ran for mayor.

HOWEVER...he doesn't have a good track record with relationships. At all. Be it sons, sidekicks, lovers or friends. He cheats, he's afraid of commitment, and he's generally selfish and hot headed.

In the friendship pairing of Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan, Oliver is the reckless one. Consider that.

He's gotten better recently, but only very recently. I will take his improvement into consideration, since Dinah was able to forgive him his sins and accept his wedding proposal.

Plus, there is no denying that Oliver is one of the most macho super heroes. He's a guy's guy, and that's appealing.

7/10

Day Job: He's a billionaire. And until recently he was the mayor of Star City. No complaints there.

10/10

Sexiness of Powers: No powers, which always gains favour with me. Oliver is self-trained and awesome.

He can shoot an arrow at anything from anywhere. Plus, he makes all his own high-tech arrows. It's impressive.

Green Arrow is pretty kick-ass. I think every hero is pretty impressed by him. Even Batman.

10/10

Cons: Well, there is the aforementioned commitment-phobia and general asshattery. Plus he's pretty whiny with all the anti-corporate talk. I'm not saying he's wrong, I'm just saying give it a rest sometimes. And he maybe lacks some of the ambition that the other heroes have:

I think if I were in the JLA, and I arrived in the Watchtower and Green Arrow was there, I'd be like "Oh hey, Oliver, what's up? That's cool...listen, is anyone else here?" He's just a little annoying. And arrogant.

- 4

Final Score: 29/40

Well, that's respectable. I don't think anyone would name Oliver Queen as the sexiest super hero. Unless we're talking about the Smallville version. Because...damn.

Review of that last review, by Johnathan.

You know what? That last review, it's all over the place. If you haven't read it yet, wait a day or so. If you have... maybe try it again in a bit. I'm off to edit.

NOT APPROVED

UPDATE:

I'm much more happy with it now. It reads much more smoothly. I'm not saying it's Keats or anything, just that it no longer looks like it was composed by an angry bear with a keyboard.

JOHN APPROVED

Hear Me Talk!

Ok, so I totally failed to post anything on my actual birthday. It actually turned out to be a busy day, what with the First Annual Rachelle's Birthday Soccer-Baseball Match, the booze, chapters 13-22 of Trapped in the Closet, and the karaoke. In all the excitement I forgot to post.

But now I have a reason to!

This week The Dollar Bin's weekly podcasts feature...ME! If you want to hear my squawky boyish voice, then please click on this link.

Stay tuned for more me on their Wednesday show when we talk about super hunks. I appreciate that three guys were patient enough to discuss hunky superheroes with me. Thanks, guys!

So now I am 27 years old. 27, I have always thought, is a very cool number. An aesthetically pleasing number. Perhaps because it belonged to aesthetically pleasing NHL defenseman, Mathieu Schneider:

Hey, baby.

Alright, I need to tuck into some Harry Potter and go to bed. I'll leave you with a Superman panel that caught him during his new age phase:

Bruce Doubtfire

I should really save this one for my actual birthday tomorrow because I love it so much, but I can't wait.

So Batman needs to lure Catwoman into a trap. And the only way he can think to do this is to disguise himself as a wealthy, diamond-covered Southern belle.

I think he was just looking for an excuse. Like, he probably could have just strolled into the hotel as Bruce Wayne with a Rolex, but whatever.

Let's see Bruce in action:


I don't know what I love more, how he looks or how he's talking.

"Howdy, y'all!"

I can't stand it. He/she totally looks like a dude, too. Look at that jawbone!

And the best part is yet to come...

First of all, I like that Bruce is keeping the act up with Alfred while they are alone in their hotel room. Secondly I can't get enough of that panel of Bruce sans wig, but still wearing make-up and jewels. Isn't he pretty? Thirdly, I can only assume that he was wearing the Batman costume, minus the mask, under the dress. Or else Bruce just took a long break in the middle of that train of thought to change his clothes between the second and third panel.

Fantastic!

All panels from Batman #266.