Review of Something Very Perplexing, By Johnathan

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So I was just reading an issue of Groo the Wanderer from 1986 and I came across this ad:


And I just don't know what to say. Except for the fact that Cap looks pretty damned jolly right there. And that it's a bit of a hoot that they were doing their casting through Groo. Although I guess that there could be worse comics in which to advertise for a 10-14 year-old female triple threat.

Wait... when has Captain America ever had anything to do with 10-14 year-old girls? do you suppose that they were trying to pull a Peter Pan with Bucky?

Where can I find the script for this thing?

Even though it never aired, it's JOHN APPROVED.

This Week's Haul: So Late It's Pretty Much Irrelevant

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As I said, the comics were late this week after the long weekend. And I've been really busy. But now, without further ado...This Week's Haul!

Booster Gold #3

Thanksgiving can go to hell if it means I have to wait even one extra day for the new issue of Booster Gold. This comic is my favourite...thing. It's like...what if Quantum Leap was AWESOME?!

And in this issue he runs into Jonah Hex!!! This issue was basically a parade of things I love. It's like this comic reads my mind. Before we even get to the cowboy fun there's a Back to the Future reference (you know that both Booster Gold and Rip Hunter have seen that movie, like, so many times) and this Smallville reference:

If Booster Gold doesn't save the day, the world turns into Smallville! (Only...better Smallville...with Clark and Lex raised together as brothers. That rules). It's so weird and rad to see my boy Lionel in a comic. Nice.

Now let's get to the good stuff. Like Booster dressing like a cowboy:

Oh man, Skeets is totally welcome to follow me around blasting The Ecstasy of Gold if he wants. That would add a touch of majesty to everything I do (like, when I'm frantically running around cemeteries...).

I'm getting off track. What I meant to talk about was Booster stripping down there (yowza!) and also that Rip Hunter keeps a cheap cowboy Halloween costume in the Time Sphere.

So our boy runs into Jonah Hex, as I said, and is challenged to a drinking competition. So Booster gets PLOWED. And it's great.

But not as great as SKEETS RIDING A HORSE!

Let's see another shot of that:

Adorable!

And then there was this:

Booster is gonna drive the Time Sphere...drunk.

This is as good as comics...nay...entertainment...gets.

Black Adam #3

This series is really, really good. I am calling this the surprise of the year. I really wasn't even planning on reading this, but every issue is great.

In this one, Black Adam runs into Hawkman and totally throws down. It's AWESOME.

Also, Doug Mahnke draws a great looking Hawkman. The helmet is perfect.

Adam totally lays waste to him. He crushes his mace with one hand, rips one of his wings off and smashes him mask up.

This next page is great:

Soooo rad.

Captain Carrot and the Final Ark #1

This is pretty much as geeky as something can possibly be. And I love it.

"Justa Lotta Animals"!!! Quail Simone! Giraffe Johns! Panda Dio!

If you're confused about Captain Carrot, don't be. It's just fun. It's an Earth that mirrors our own but its inhabitants are anthropomorphic animals. Funny ones.

I laughed out loud quite a bit. Particularly at these two panels:

And this one, which reveals that the past few pages of monologue-style narration have actually been a very long one-sided conversation Rodney Rabbit is having with the worm in his tequila bottle:

It's extra funny because the worm is wearing an iPod for no apparent reason.

Countdown Week 29

I really only have one comment on this week's issue, and that is this:

I know that they are hand-cuffed together and it would therefore be tricky and everything, but...wouldn't Piper and Trickster maybe want to think about changing their clothes? Since they are on the run and stuff? I mean, I would at least try. If I were them.

Green Arrow/Black Canary #1

I actually did expect to see this team-up...because this cover was revealed months ago. Which is weird because there is a perfectly good variant cover with Canary and Oliver that DC could have released in Previews instead.

Let's talk about Cliff Chiang and how frigging awesome his art is. It's so beautiful. I could not be happier with the choice of artist on this.

And look at classic Oliver, looking all sexy:

I really enjoyed this. I'm a big Connor fan, so it's nice to see him getting some attention. And Black Canary's insistence that the man she killed wasn't really her husband is very touching. And of course the only one who believes her is my boy Batman:

Awwwwww.

When you hug Batman, he gets so freaked out that little red triangles appear above his head.

Yeah, so Batman believes that Oliver isn't really dead. Hal on the other hand is totally keen to bury the body and move on. Because Hal's an idiot. Or Hal wants Oliver's XBox or something.

This autopsy scene was pretty amusing:

It actually isn't almost exactly what they do. What they do is a pretty standard, and tidy, autopsy that leaves the body in tact. So I don't know what Midnight is going on about. I guess he gets his giggles where he can. Or Judd Winick does. Either way, I like Batman in that apron.

Y'know what else I really liked in this comic? Dinah's eye make-up. That mauve shadow really looks pretty!

So of course Ollie isn't dead. But I guess Everyman is.

Green Lantern #24

Super awesome as always.

Particular highlights this time around include the continued use of lethal force by the GL Corps (I could watch those guys waste bad guys all day), and Parallax calling Kyle "the pretty boy."

This page is awesome:

Superboy Prime is kind of awesome. "I'm baaaaack. Jerks."

I really like that aside with Superman and Hank too.

I also really like later in this issue when Kyle emerges from Parallax, all naked, and Guy uses his ring to make clothes for him...but he only makes tight-fitting boxer shorts...

Justice League Unlimited #38

Giganta loves Wally!

Did anyone else find this comic to be kinda hard to read? I hate to say that about a kids comic, because it makes me feel dumb, but the pacing of the story just seemed sorta bizarre. It was like every other page was missing or something.

But I'll tell you what I loved about it: Giganta using a skyscraper as a make-up mirror:

And this:

Another Smallville reference! What a week!

Runaways #28

First of all, I just want to say that the zombie variant cover for this was horrible. All of the zombie covers are horrible, but this one especially. The main cover, on the other hand, was beautiful. As you can see.

This was a good issue. I just don't really have anything to say about it. Except I hope they return to the present soon because I am getting bored of the past.

Superman #668

And we're off on another zany Busiek adventure. This time Superman is searching for the supposed Third Kryptonian on Earth (besides Power Girl, Krypto, and his new son Christopher...who seems to be the most neglected son in the whole world, because he has not really made much of an impact on Superman's life. I keep forgetting about the little tyke).

To find the Kryptonian, Supes gets some help from his old pal Batman. Because that guy loves to find stuff. Superman also brings Christopher to the cave, and it's pretty cute:

It's been awhile since I've read a good Superman/Batman sexual tension comic, so I enjoyed this. Maybe this will be the arc where they finally kiss.

Why?

Awww, Batman can't say 'no' to those eyes.

Also, I don't know who this guy is, but I like his enthusiasm:

Suicide Squad #2

This series is also awesome.

For one thing: Dinosaurs!

Getting shot in the face!!!

I would like to know where I can get one of these fire swords:

Man, that's sweet. I could just slice and BBQ a cow right there on the spot. No more pesky waiting for grilled meat.

Wonder Woman #13


J. Torres does double Wonder Duty this week with Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl. And he does a good job of both.

The art on this kinda jumped around between pretty good and really bad. Like, why did Wonder Girl look like a 40-year-old trophy wife?

And Wonder Woman's shorts were certainly awful in this issue:

And Black Canary's were possibly worse:

Wow.

Wonder Girl #2

Well, this is a much better Wonder Girl than the one we saw above.

Wonder Girl is a very charming mini-series. The fun art really suits Torres' writing, I think.

In this issue Cassie is getting stalked by a very persistent Hercules. He gives her a new outfit, which looks pretty cool:

Man, I am so sleepy. I can't think of anything else to say about anything. Comics were good this week. Yay!

Wonder Girl vs Shark vs Octopus (Winner = Readers)

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Comics are late this week because of Canadian Thanksgiving (which I am still full from).

So, in the meantime here is a little taste of the awesomeness that is Showcase Presents Wonder Woman.

I thought this might be the greatest panel ever:

Until I saw this one later on the same page:

She totally threw that shark into that octopus.

I absolutely love the bug-eyes on that octopus. Dude is pissed.

If you need to be sold on this Showcase collection, let me tell you that the first half of the book features stories based on the following repeating premises:

1. Steve Trevor asking Wonder Woman to marry him; Wonder Woman refusing because she can't be married as long as there is even one person left in the world in need of rescuing; Steve coming up with ridiculous bet or challenge that, if lost by Wonder Woman, means she has to marry him; Steve losing bet.

2. There are more than one Wonder Woman and someone (Steve, Wonder Woman's mom) has to pick out the real Wonder Woman.

3. Wonder Woman being faced with an utterly insane challenge; Wonder Woman emerging victorious.

There are stories that combine all three of these things.

The second half of the book features a lot of Wonder Girl stories, like the one I posted panels from above. These mostly involve Wonder Girl rescuing her Mer-boy "friend" from various crazy creatures. They also involve Wonder Girl attempting to meet or see Wonder Woman in person, which by Amazon law is impossible. Or whatever.

What I am saying is that Robert Kanigher makes Bob Haney seem like a master storyteller. These stories are totally nuts.

Review of the Nineteen-Nineties, By Johnathan

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I have found the definitive example of why the 90s were a very bad time for the readers of so-called 'comic books.' Not that the era has legions of defenders or anything, but just in case some poor kid had been deluded into thinking that Superman looked kind of cool with a mullet or that every character on the cover of an issue should be either screaming or gritting their teeth in order to ensure sufficient levels of grittiness, I shall present my evidence.

I think that I should set the scene: it's Extreme Justice No. 8, and our heroes are having supper and discussing their administrative problems. Captain Atom, douchebag leader of this worst of Justice-teams (and blatant mullet-enthusiast) says this:


Which is fine. I have nothing bad to say about the dialogue. What I do have a problem with is the oh-so-nineties way in which this dialogue is presented. To whit:

Speed lines! Dramatic lighting! Grimacing! THOOM!

Evidently, while Captain Atom was calmly discussing his budget he happened to notice that his table had transformed into some sort of awful, flat-topped creature and was forced to deal it a swift death-blow. Or possibly the artist didn't realize that even though he was drawing a comic book there was no need to enforce a strict punch-a-page policy.

Or it might have just been the Nineties.

NOT APPROVED

This Week's Haul: Rush Job

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I gotta do this week's reviews in a hurry because I am studying for my mid-terms. Sorry in advance for the lack in quality.

Action Comics #856

We need more comics that open with a little girl being pushed off a balcony:

More Bizarro awesomeness from Eric Powell, Geoff Johns and Richard Donner.

Bizarro Lois and Jimmy:

Bizarro Mxy:

Bizarro Doomsday:

I also really liked Bizarro Lex Luthor because I picture him talking the same, sounding all dignified and smart, but with the Bizarro-style mixed-up words.

As with the last issue, the Powell art is amazing. There was so much cool stuff on this page alone:

Powell makes Superman's eye blasts look extra crazy. And that panel of Supes getting punch by four fists at once is pretty awesome. As is the one below it. Pa Kent's POV there is pretty nuts.

I can't wait to see more of the Bizarro Justice League in the next issue. The last page in this one cracked me up.

The All New Atom #16

The awesome thing about this issue is that Roger Stern was filling in for Gail Simone, and he did such a great job that I didn't even notice. It's nice to know that, if Simone ever had to abandon Ryan Choi, it's possible that someone else could write him just as well.

Ok, so this was great. Laugh-out-loud funny as usual.

The other nice thing about this issue is that, for reasons I can only attribute to perhaps an increased interest in the title since the search for Ray Palmer began, it brings the reader up to speed on everything that happened previously. But it's done throughout the comic in a way that isn't boring. I can see being confused if you picked up an issue of The Atom as to why Ryan lives with a giant, floating alien head.

Anyway, great issue. Great series.

Green Lantern Corps #16

Planet Fight!!!!!!!

Hells yeah!

Also, the guardians have decided that it's alright for the lanterns to get their kill on:

Our heroes waste no time. They just start laying waste to the Sinestro Corps immediately:

So the tide has turned in the epic space battle. And it's heading to Earth. Which we knew already from the last Green Lantern issue, but still...it's gonna be dope!

I really liked Sodam Yat's battle-ravaged look:

He could totally patch that suit up with his ring. He chooses not to.

Countdown Week 30

I liked this issue. I think this series might be getting better. Maybe. It still has thirty issues in which it can become awesome. Right now it's pretty good...most of the time.

There was a lot of Piper/Trickster stuff in this one, which I always appreciate. And our Ray Palmer-searchers landed on an Earth where Jason Todd is Batman and the Atom is a chick and Donna Troy is Wonder Woman and Kyle is...Kyle. I couldn't really tell them apart.

"We don't know these people, Donna, stop handing out personal information." Can anyone else tell what is wrong with that sentence?

Hehe..."Happy fun-time Batman." Oh, I really hope they find that Earth.

Countdown Presents The Search for Ray Palmer: Crime Society #1

So I guess it is possible for this crazy idea for a series to be good...you just have to get Sean McKeever to write it.

This was really enjoyable. So much better than that Wildstorm one that was out a few weeks ago. The whole comic is a really entertaining life story of the Jokester, who we met in last week's Countdown and who is now following Team Palmer around. I highly recommend.

Detective Comics #837

Not a lot of Batman in this one, but that's cool. It was a really good fill-in-the-blanks issue that explained how Harley found her way to the Amazonian women's shelter in Metropolis. Plus, Bruce Wayne hires The Riddler, who you'll recall is on the straight and narrow now and working as a private detective, to recover some stolen goods. This leads to Riddler teaming up with Harley because the thief is also at the shelter.

It's fun.


JLA/Hitman #2

This was awesome.

For one thing, I love how much Batman hates Tommy:

And I love how much Tommy loves making Batman angry.

I also love a powerless Kyle having to take a guy out with a chair:

Yes, it's all very awesome and hilarious.

But here's the twist...this comic is really very touching. It basically serves as a love letter Ennis is writing for his late character, Tommy Monaghan. And the letter is narrated by Superman, who is telling the story to a reporter. And it gets do damn sad, you wouldn't believe it. This two-part series is really great. I never expected this kind of love to be put into an Ennis comic. Particularly not a JLA comic. I'm impressed.

Metal Men #3

I'm not going to pretend to always understand what's going on in this comic, but I definitely love looking at it.

I mean, I do get what's going on. There's just so much...science.

But it's a very fun read and Magnus is adorably nerdy and every single panel is stunning:

Just look at the perfection that is this page:

The lighting and shadowing in this comic is really fantastic. Look at that panel with the flashlight!

I love Magnus practicing his marriage proposal, and trying to not bring science into it.

Supergirl #22

Hands down, the best issue of Supergirl yet. She kicked so much ass and was so cool.

And at the end she totally stands up to Superman and tells him that she can live her own life and she doesn't need him playing father figure all the time. Superman surprises her by agreeing with her.

And then the Teen Titans surprise me by walking out of that barn, where I guess they have been hiding. Which is really weird. And great.

That's the end of the Bedard/Guedes run, sadly. It kinda feels like it should be the end of the series, but they are going to keep going with it. I am curious to see where they take it. The next run sounds kind of inspired by her appearances in the Brave and the Bold, at least in terms of her taking part in some inter-galactic missions which involve JLA members. We'll see...

Blah. Alright, that's all I have time for. Back to statistics.