And now a scene from my bedroom last night...

I love you, Winter Soldier.

Sigh. Why are all the best men fictional?

Rating the Super Hunks #16: Ryan Choi

I hope that everyone is cool with what I have decided will be a bi-weekly schedule for Rating The Super Hunks. I just don't have the time to keep it up on a weekly basis anymore. And I know you guys don't want me to resort to fill-in writers.

So let's pull out our microscopes and look way down at the man I am calling Super Hunk Rookie of the Year...

The Atom, aka Ryan Choi

Costume/Apperance: I think Ryan's science nerd friends did a nice job designing his costume. It takes the best elements of the classic Ray Palmer costume and brings it up-to-date. I particularly like the red that runs down the outside of the pants, and the blue on the inside. I love the stylized A on the front and the red boots and blue gloves, and, of course, the big giant belt.

I'm never a fan of the hair-concealing mask, but that big ol' atom symbol looks cool. And the costume, like the Flash suit, is as tight as a costume can possibly get, and shows off Ryan's gymnast physique.

Outside of the costume, and at full-height, Dr Choi is a real looker. He's got that young, hot professor thing going for him.

I would say that Ryan has gotten considerable more attractive since John Byrne stopped drawing him (cough, cough).

Ryan isn't, like, crazy hot. But he's tangibly hot, and that counts for something. He's a cute nerd with a perfect body and a handsome face. What else could you ask for?

Rating: 8/10

Personality: Of all the heroes in all of comic books, Ryan Choi is the one that I feel I would be most comfortable hanging out with. Even though I know nothing about science, I do know a thing or two about being nerdy.

Ryan just blends heroism and nerdiness and humour really nicely. He's like Peter Parker, but not completely annoying.

He's a physics professor who idolized Ray Palmer as a kid. Now he's basically in way over his head as he took over both Palmer's job at the university in Ivy Town, and Palmer's superhero identity. Most people would have a hard time suddenly being thrown into the craziness that is the DC world of superheroing, but Ryan has handled it very well. No matter how unusual the situation.

Above everything else, Ryan Choi is just a really nice guy. With most of these super hunks, there is at least one incredibly shitty thing that the hunk in question has done that I need to factor in. Now, I realize that Ryan is new on the scene and he therefore has plenty of opportunity to self-destruct, but I would be very surprised if he ever does anything awful to anyone. He's just a sweetheart. Maybe a bit of a push-over, but a sweetheart nonetheless.

I mean, who else would capture an alien floating head who showed up at his house to destroy him, and then let him live with him as his new roommate? Only the nicest guy in the world.

He definitely needs to stand up for himself more, but I think he's learning.

9/10

Day Job: Physics professor. I can't say that this is the sexiest profession in the world, but it isn't the least sexy either. At least he's smart. And successful. That counts for something.

It seems to get the ladies, anyway.

7/10

Sexiness of Super Powers: Well...he can shrink really small. That's...sexy? I dunno, it isn't, like, super strength, or flight, or enhanced senses or anything. It's actually kinda gross.

But I do like the way he surfs on the Bangstick. And I like the word 'Bangstick.'

And the gymnastics and fighting ability certainly counts here. He's pretty awesome in battle.

I would even go so far as to factor in that he has the most consistently hilarious banter in comics right now.

6/10

Cons: I'm having a tough time here. Maybe because Ryan is so new he hasn't really shown many flaws. I mean, he's not the most assertive superhero on the block, and he gives off vibes of total inexperience with the ladies, but overall there isn't too much to hold against this guy.

I dunno...I can't really think of any reason to deduct marks.

- 0

Final Score: 30/40

Nice work, Ryan! You're already in the big leagues of super hunkery. I think we can thank Gail Simone. The lady knows how to write a dreamboat.

Fancy New Banner/See Me in Toronto!

As you can see above, my blog has a new banner. It was designed by my bf/bff Matt and I think it looks pretty sharp.

Just as fair warning, there won't be any new comic reviews this upcoming week because I am headed to Toronto next weekend with my band. We are going to be opening for one our idols, the legendary Wanda Jackson! If you don't know who that is, I encourage you to look her up. Her music is FANTASTIC and she was a huge inspiration to us when we started the band. We're very excited about this.

If you are in the Toronto area and have $30 to spend on a ticket, we are playing Friday Oct 19 and Saturday Oct 20 at the Cadillac Lounge. Or if you are in the Toronto area and just wanna hang out or something, send me an email.

In other news, the winners of my recent contest were drawn. The winners have all been contacted except the mysterious Stewart, for whom I have no contact info. You wanna send me an email, Stewart?

Thanks to everyone who entered. The stories were great!

Email, again, is rachellegoguen at gmail dot com.

Review of Music, By Johnathan

This here's from the Phantom Zone miniseries back in the day:

I kind of really like the idea of a super-hero-inspired musical subgenre - sometimes it seems like the people in comic-book universes live in this state of disinterest re: superstuff. Unless, say, Booster Gold punches his way through their front door for some reason, they have no real day-to-day thoughts on the issue of the heavily-muscled spandex models flying through their towns. Except for a whole lot of exceptions that I just thought of of course. Culturally, though, it's this and that one arc in Legend of the Dark Knight where there was a fad for bat-clothes.

The lyrics seem to be about a hundred times better than is usual for comic-rock. Possibly because there are so few of them. And because they aren't composed entirely of 'baby', 'hey' and 'yeah' (see all music featured in, say, Showcase Presents: The Teen Titans).

Oh, Bizarro-music. Everyone born after 1961 is an imperfect duplicate. Why isn't this all over current continuity?

JOHN APPROVED

Also:

Well? Which side won?

Review of Something Very Perplexing, By Johnathan

So I was just reading an issue of Groo the Wanderer from 1986 and I came across this ad:

And I just don't know what to say. Except for the fact that Cap looks pretty damned jolly right there. And that it's a bit of a hoot that they were doing their casting through Groo. Although I guess that there could be worse comics in which to advertise for a 10-14 year-old female triple threat.

Wait... when has Captain America ever had anything to do with 10-14 year-old girls? do you suppose that they were trying to pull a Peter Pan with Bucky?

Where can I find the script for this thing?

Even though it never aired, it's JOHN APPROVED.

This Week's Haul: So Late It's Pretty Much Irrelevant

As I said, the comics were late this week after the long weekend. And I've been really busy. But now, without further ado...This Week's Haul!

Booster Gold #3

Thanksgiving can go to hell if it means I have to wait even one extra day for the new issue of Booster Gold. This comic is my favourite...thing. It's like...what if Quantum Leap was AWESOME?!

And in this issue he runs into Jonah Hex!!! This issue was basically a parade of things I love. It's like this comic reads my mind. Before we even get to the cowboy fun there's a Back to the Future reference (you know that both Booster Gold and Rip Hunter have seen that movie, like, so many times) and this Smallville reference:

If Booster Gold doesn't save the day, the world turns into Smallville! (Only...better Smallville...with Clark and Lex raised together as brothers. That rules). It's so weird and rad to see my boy Lionel in a comic. Nice.

Now let's get to the good stuff. Like Booster dressing like a cowboy:

Oh man, Skeets is totally welcome to follow me around blasting The Ecstasy of Gold if he wants. That would add a touch of majesty to everything I do (like, when I'm frantically running around cemeteries...).

I'm getting off track. What I meant to talk about was Booster stripping down there (yowza!) and also that Rip Hunter keeps a cheap cowboy Halloween costume in the Time Sphere.

So our boy runs into Jonah Hex, as I said, and is challenged to a drinking competition. So Booster gets PLOWED. And it's great.

But not as great as SKEETS RIDING A HORSE!

Let's see another shot of that:

Adorable!

And then there was this:

Booster is gonna drive the Time Sphere...drunk.

This is as good as comics...nay...entertainment...gets.

Black Adam #3

This series is really, really good. I am calling this the surprise of the year. I really wasn't even planning on reading this, but every issue is great.

In this one, Black Adam runs into Hawkman and totally throws down. It's AWESOME.

Also, Doug Mahnke draws a great looking Hawkman. The helmet is perfect.

Adam totally lays waste to him. He crushes his mace with one hand, rips one of his wings off and smashes him mask up.

This next page is great:

Soooo rad.

Captain Carrot and the Final Ark #1

This is pretty much as geeky as something can possibly be. And I love it.

"Justa Lotta Animals"!!! Quail Simone! Giraffe Johns! Panda Dio!

If you're confused about Captain Carrot, don't be. It's just fun. It's an Earth that mirrors our own but its inhabitants are anthropomorphic animals. Funny ones.

I laughed out loud quite a bit. Particularly at these two panels:

And this one, which reveals that the past few pages of monologue-style narration have actually been a very long one-sided conversation Rodney Rabbit is having with the worm in his tequila bottle:

It's extra funny because the worm is wearing an iPod for no apparent reason.

Countdown Week 29

I really only have one comment on this week's issue, and that is this:

I know that they are hand-cuffed together and it would therefore be tricky and everything, but...wouldn't Piper and Trickster maybe want to think about changing their clothes? Since they are on the run and stuff? I mean, I would at least try. If I were them.

Green Arrow/Black Canary #1

I actually did expect to see this team-up...because this cover was revealed months ago. Which is weird because there is a perfectly good variant cover with Canary and Oliver that DC could have released in Previews instead.

Let's talk about Cliff Chiang and how frigging awesome his art is. It's so beautiful. I could not be happier with the choice of artist on this.

And look at classic Oliver, looking all sexy:

I really enjoyed this. I'm a big Connor fan, so it's nice to see him getting some attention. And Black Canary's insistence that the man she killed wasn't really her husband is very touching. And of course the only one who believes her is my boy Batman:

Awwwwww.

When you hug Batman, he gets so freaked out that little red triangles appear above his head.

Yeah, so Batman believes that Oliver isn't really dead. Hal on the other hand is totally keen to bury the body and move on. Because Hal's an idiot. Or Hal wants Oliver's XBox or something.

This autopsy scene was pretty amusing:

It actually isn't almost exactly what they do. What they do is a pretty standard, and tidy, autopsy that leaves the body in tact. So I don't know what Midnight is going on about. I guess he gets his giggles where he can. Or Judd Winick does. Either way, I like Batman in that apron.

Y'know what else I really liked in this comic? Dinah's eye make-up. That mauve shadow really looks pretty!

So of course Ollie isn't dead. But I guess Everyman is.

Green Lantern #24

Super awesome as always.

Particular highlights this time around include the continued use of lethal force by the GL Corps (I could watch those guys waste bad guys all day), and Parallax calling Kyle "the pretty boy."

This page is awesome:

Superboy Prime is kind of awesome. "I'm baaaaack. Jerks."

I really like that aside with Superman and Hank too.

I also really like later in this issue when Kyle emerges from Parallax, all naked, and Guy uses his ring to make clothes for him...but he only makes tight-fitting boxer shorts...

Justice League Unlimited #38

Giganta loves Wally!

Did anyone else find this comic to be kinda hard to read? I hate to say that about a kids comic, because it makes me feel dumb, but the pacing of the story just seemed sorta bizarre. It was like every other page was missing or something.

But I'll tell you what I loved about it: Giganta using a skyscraper as a make-up mirror:

And this:

Another Smallville reference! What a week!

Runaways #28

First of all, I just want to say that the zombie variant cover for this was horrible. All of the zombie covers are horrible, but this one especially. The main cover, on the other hand, was beautiful. As you can see.

This was a good issue. I just don't really have anything to say about it. Except I hope they return to the present soon because I am getting bored of the past.

Superman #668

And we're off on another zany Busiek adventure. This time Superman is searching for the supposed Third Kryptonian on Earth (besides Power Girl, Krypto, and his new son Christopher...who seems to be the most neglected son in the whole world, because he has not really made much of an impact on Superman's life. I keep forgetting about the little tyke).

To find the Kryptonian, Supes gets some help from his old pal Batman. Because that guy loves to find stuff. Superman also brings Christopher to the cave, and it's pretty cute:

It's been awhile since I've read a good Superman/Batman sexual tension comic, so I enjoyed this. Maybe this will be the arc where they finally kiss.

Why?

Awww, Batman can't say 'no' to those eyes.

Also, I don't know who this guy is, but I like his enthusiasm:

Suicide Squad #2

This series is also awesome.

For one thing: Dinosaurs!

Getting shot in the face!!!

I would like to know where I can get one of these fire swords:

Man, that's sweet. I could just slice and BBQ a cow right there on the spot. No more pesky waiting for grilled meat.

Wonder Woman #13

J. Torres does double Wonder Duty this week with Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl. And he does a good job of both.

The art on this kinda jumped around between pretty good and really bad. Like, why did Wonder Girl look like a 40-year-old trophy wife?

And Wonder Woman's shorts were certainly awful in this issue:

And Black Canary's were possibly worse:

Wow.

Wonder Girl #2

Well, this is a much better Wonder Girl than the one we saw above.

Wonder Girl is a very charming mini-series. The fun art really suits Torres' writing, I think.

In this issue Cassie is getting stalked by a very persistent Hercules. He gives her a new outfit, which looks pretty cool:

Man, I am so sleepy. I can't think of anything else to say about anything. Comics were good this week. Yay!