Review of Future Current Events, By Johnathan

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BIG FONT WARNING: SPOILERS AND SALTY LANGUAGE AHEAD.

Holy shit! I've been picking up the recent issues of Action Comics, first because of Bizarro and then keeping it up because of the LSH story that has been rocking the proverbial house. It's been neat to read what is essentially a retro Legion story and a well-told one at that, so this week I cracked open Action Comics No. 859 with all expectation of enjoyment and I'm all like "Neat! the Batcave!" and then this happens:


!!! Holy shit again! This issue was written especially for me! It's the Legion of Super-Human Detritus! Honestly, Golden Boy? Storm Boy? this is fantastic! Wait... check this:


A handy picture guide. Compare and contrast character designs!

The appearance of Absorbancy Boy/Earth-Man really threw me for a loop. A-Boy originally showed up in Superboy No. 218. He got rejected from the Legion - despite his glorious muttonchops and ability to absorb and utilize residual superhuman energies - and stood by and glowered whilst Quake Kid tried to score with Infectious Lass. He then weaseled his way back into the clubhouse to try to interfere with Tyroc's induction into the Legion, only to be beaten down by the Mauler from Marzal himself. How much do I want Tyroc to show up at the end of this story for a rematch? Very, very much.

I see that The Tusker and Golden Boy have been toughened up a bit for this appearance - I shall refrain from making a joke about Golden Boy turning himself into gold by masturbating (no I won't).

Wait, if the Tusker has unbreakable bones then what happened to his tooth?

And so on. My thoughts on these characters have been logged on the Internets for all to read. I love them all, even as I love to mock them. I'm just super glad that the Legion of Throwaway Characters is getting their time in the sun. Sure hope that The Mess shows up before this is all through (Alternate version of this joke that I forgot to use: I sure hope that Lester Spiffany is behind all of this).

Thoroughly, totally JOHN APPROVED

Zombies Calling

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Hi everyone!

The weekly reviews will be up sometime soon. Please bear with me, as my life is crazy busy right now. I am into the last couple of weeks of this semester.

But first, I just wanted to tell you all about this great book that came out last week called Zombies Calling.

The book was written and illustrated by a local Halifax gal named Faith Erin Hicks. I picked one up last week and was totally blown away by how clever and funny this book is. There are a lot of zombie comics out there, but until now there were no distinctly Canadian zombie comics. I don't know how we made it this far without one.

So on top of all the excitement of there being a new, young, female Halifax-based comic creator...there is the added excitement that Miss Hicks is really talented and her book totally rocks. As I said, it came out last week in the middle of the craziness that was the Greatest Comic Book Week Ever, and it still totally held its own. I'm not lying here - I enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed the new Scott Pilgrim book. And if you like the Scott Pilgrim books - or anything that is both funny and clever - you will like Zombies Calling. I guarantee it.

Published by SLG, Zombies Calling is story focused on Joss, a plucky young Zombie movie-loving university student. Like many university students, she's buried in student loan debt and lives in a cluttered apartment with two roommates. One thing that I liked right away about the character is the early reveal that she isn't actually British. Of course, on the printed page, we assume that a character speaking in British slang and wearing a Union Jack shirt is a lazily-constructed British character. Not so! She is actually just obsessed with Britain, and thus has turned herself into a stereotype. Very clever.
The three main characters, Joss, Sonnet and Robyn, are all very likable and funny.

And so are the zombies!
I absolutely love the way she draws zombies. The facial expressions are killer.

So Joss figures that she can survive this mysterious zombie invasion by following the rules of zombie movies. At several points in the book she has a hard time focusing on the danger at hand because she is so excited by her love of zombies. I particularly enjoyed this scene:

It's a really fun read, and for $9.95 you can't really go wrong.

Faith Erin Hicks is also going to be doing an in-store signing tomorrow at Strange Adventures in Halifax from 2-4pm. You can also check out her website at faitherinhicks.com.

Sunken Spirit

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So I, like many comic fans, have some...concerns...about the upcoming film based on The Spirit, being made by Frank Miller. Basically: I think it is going to suck.

Every time I see or hear anything about it, I get cranky. But this quote, from a Newsarama article, is the most bothersome thing I've read yet:

Miller later directs a scene from near the film’s finale in which the Spirit delivers a powerful right cross to the chin of The Octopus, played by Samuel L. Jackson. “From the start, I wanted Sam Jackson to play The Octopus because I’ve always wanted to work with Sam Jackson,” Miller says. “It seems to me he’s always had a part like this inside waiting to get out.”

The villain, who famously never showed his face in Eisner’s comics, will be slightly less mysterious in the film. “I knew I couldn’t get away with two hours of a guy whose face you never see,” Miller said.

WHAT?! The Octopus has existed as a character for almost seven decades. In all that time his face has never been revealed. Now Frank Miller gets to decide what he looks like? And it's Samuel L Jackson?!

Actually, scratch that. It doesn't matter who it is. The point is that Miller has the audacity to feel that, for some reason, he is allowed reveal a mystery that, clearly, Will Eisner never wanted revealed.

“I knew I couldn’t get away with two hours of a guy whose face you never see,” Miller said.

Two hours?! Try seventy years, assface! It worked pretty well in the comics. If you can't tell a good story without Samuel L Jackson's face, that's your problem.