This Week's Haul: Sinestro Gets Pwned

/

No real excuse for being late this week. I was so overwhelmed by having nothing to do that I forgot that I actually had something to do: review comics.

Countdown Arena #2

There's really no reason to pay any attention to this comic, but there's a little thing that's bothering me about this issue that I just have to say something about.

Ok, so the double page spread that shows all the arena fighters and what Earths they are from? Full of mistakes.

Check it:

Ok, this Wonder Woman is from Earth-21, which is the New Frontier Earth. Fine. But below that panel we see that crazy monster thing made of beetles. He is also supposedly from Earth-21.

So my first thought was "that ain't right." Later in the comic we see him again, only now he is suddenly from Earth-26:

Ok...so that first one was a typo. Alright. It happens. I look up Earth-26 in that little guide they published in DC Nation a couple of weeks ago, and it lists Earth-26 as, wait for it...Captain Carrot's Earth.

I dunno...that just seems wrong to me...

And there was also this Firestorm guy, who is from Earth-37:

Earth-37, according to that guide, is the Thrillkiller Earth. That makes no sense. (Also...do we need a Thrillkiller Earth?!). Please correct me if I'm wrong about this. Maybe that guy was in Thrillkiller? I just don't see how.

Green Arrow/Black Canary #3

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Connor, you were too beautiful for this world.

Congratulations, Judd Winick. You've ruined Christmas.

Green Lantern #25

Not only was this worth the $4.99 cover price, each page is worth $4.99:

I swear, like every other page looks like that. It's amazing.

I love the rise of the seven lantern corps. That's going to be neat:

Oooo!! I hope the red corps and the green corps fight at Christmas time! It would be so pretty!

I loved Guy trying to fight while being infected with a viral member of the Sinestro Corps:

It was also great when he was injected with the GL Corps virus and the two viruses battled it out inside him. Craziness!

And Hal, Kyle and Sinestro all losing the power in their rings so they just start street fighting? Awesome!

I love that "The both of you." Hardcore.

Green Lantern Corps #19

The members of the Corps who survived the war finally get a little downtime to spend with their families and loved ones. It's nice.

And this page is awesome:

I love those two!

But the issue wasn't all hugs and kisses. It had a rad ending!

I love that "Yes. I believe I have." This is gonna be great!

Tales of the Green Lantern Corps: Ion

All that I really want to say about this issue is that it was pretty good. These things have been kinda hit-or-miss, but this one is definitely worth checking out.

Also, I liked Guy's sexy lady that feeds him marshmallows:

Especially her I Dream of Jeannie pose.

Booster Gold #5

Man, this was so good and so sad.

I figured that, y'know, Booster wouldn't actually stop the Joker from shooting Barbara. But the way he insisted on going back over and over again! Ohmygod. I am just so filled with love for Booster Gold right now.

And if that wasn't sad enough, Rip breaks the news that Ted's death is a fixed moment in time that cannot be undone.

Awwwwwwww. I can't stand it!

Wonder Woman #15

I can't believe how much happened in this one issue! And it was all awesome!

I have been having a hard time selling people on this relaunch (Can we call it a relaunch? I think it's a relaunch). Everyone is all "I was buying this series for awhile, but I didn't like it." And I'm like "But it's awesome now!" And they're all "Yeah...I dunno..."

But it is awesome now. Don't let the fact that it's been mostly kinda bad up to this point prevent you from checking it out now. I guarantee you'll love it.

Personally, I was really into the god that WW found to help her in this issue:

What religion worships him? I'm joining!

Superman Confidential #10

One thing I really like is when comics are both really good, and really smart strategic moves. The New Gods are playing a starring role in the current DCU, so it's not a bad idea to have a comic that introduces new readers to the Fourth World. And the fact that it's also a great read with nice art is just icing.

I love Superman just having no idea who any of these characters are:

I also like Superman's ripped costume.

Superman is totally awesome in this comic. He doesn't know who these New Gods are, but he wants them out of downtown Metropolis:

Word.

The Batman Strikes #40

This comic is consistently very funny and entertaining. This month's was written by Matthew K Manning and drawn by Adam Archer. I like this series because it frequently combines a wisecracking Robin with a humourless Batman:

Once you get past the fact that all of the villains in this series, like the cartoon its based on, look very messed up, it's a consistently fun read.

Nexus: The Origin

I've read this comic several times, and it never stops being awesome. This is a re-painted reprint of a 1992 comic which stands the test of time as one of the best single issues of any comic ever written, in my opinion. If you've never read Nexus, then obviously this is a great place to start.

*Sigh* I sentence YOU, Nexus...for stealing my heart.

All done! I'm gonna go watch TV until our power goes out from this storm. Any comments about these, or any other comic releases this week (Howard Porter doing the art on Countdown? Blech) are appreciated below.

PS - I would also highly recommend this week's Marvel Adventures The Hulk. It was great fun. Rick Jones calls Namor's army "Aqua Teen Excessive Force." Also...Spider-Man Family was excellent and featured some beautiful art by David Hahn. I'd kinda like him to draw all Marvel comics. Or at least all Spider-Man.

Maybe they could draw comics if their hands weren't always full of chocolate...

/

An actual conversation between me and a customer today:

Dude: It's weird to see girls reading comics.
Me: Yeah, well, there are a lot of us.
Dude: Because comics are usually for guys. It's an old boy's club.
Me: Yes. It's changing.
Dude (not listening to a word I say): There's never really been any women who write or draw comics.
Me: Actually, there are quite a few.
Dude: It'd be something to see a woman drawing comics like a man.
Me: There are women drawing comics, er...like a man. (Go into detail talking about Amanda Conner).
Dude (ignoring me): Yeah, it'd be something to see a woman draw a comic.
Me: Is this...a prank?
Dude: Because women don't really like violence and men like violence.
Me (considering stabbing him): I like violence.
Dude: It'd be something if a woman was writing comics.
Me: THERE ARE WOMEN WRITING COMICS!
Dude: Mainstream comics, I mean. Like the ones men like.
Me (deep breath): Gail Simone is currently the main writer on The Atom, Wonder Woman, and a number of titles for Wildstorm.
Dude: A woman took over Doom Patrol after Morrison, and it went downhill. And a woman wrote Swamp Thing after what's-his-name, and it went downhill...
Me: Well, I think it's hard for anyone to follow ALAN MOORE or Grant Morrison.
Dude: Any woman?
Me: NO. AnyONE. Anyone at all.
Dude: Women can't really draw the way that men like.
Me: ....
Dude (hauling random volume of Swamp Thing off shelf, opening to random page): Like this...now, I know this is a scary picture...
Me: Uh, yeah...I love that series. It's really good. I'm sure a woman somewhere on Earth can draw that page.
Dude: Can you imagine? If a woman could draw that.
Me (REALLY wishing I could draw that so I could just throw down): I...no. No I can't imagine that. It's just too crazy. Please close that book now. That picture is making me faint with terror.

So there you have it. We still have a long way to go, apparently.

Review of Adventure Comics No. 337, part 1, By Johnathan

/

This was merely going to be a plain old ‘Super-Human Detritus’ review of three nutty Legion applicants, but upon rereading the issue of Adventure Comics that they made their shameful appearance in I discovered that it was an almost quintessential Legion story, jam-packed with far-future hijinks! And so I present to you a review of the whole damn comic, including all manner of interesting asides.

(Later) It was also going to be one long review, with maybe thirty images and so forth, but it turns out that I'm still recovering from the weekend. Prepare for installments!


The tale opens with an exciting, action-packed board meeting! Today’s topic: the weekly invasion of the Earth. First, though, we need to decide who’s bringing what to the Klordny Day potluck. Sun Boy, are you still bringing the condiments and napkins? Terrific.


Man, I wish that this wasn’t just a colouring error and that Brainiac 5 really did turn grayish-purple when he got angry. It would lend a whole new dimension to his super-logical behavior of later years. “Brainiac, are you sure that you’re not mad about how we ate all of the jelly doughnuts while you were in the bathroom? Because you’re starting to look like a week-old eggplant again.”


But seriously, Brainiac, do you honestly expect to have a long strategy-oriented meeting involving twenty or so teenagers of various genders and maintain the room’s full attention the whole time? My friends are all in their mid- to late twenties and I have a hard time getting them organized to do something that they want to do, let alone listen to me give a long speech about threats to our security (not that that stops me from giving such speeches). You’re just lucky that Ultra Boy and Phantom Girl aren’t furtively groping each other under the table whilst Sun Boy and Superboy ignore you in favour of a detailed conversation about how their moustaches are coming in.


I’m assuming that these two panels are just here for exposition purposes and not to show that Brainiac 5 went around after the meeting delivering his speech to every Legionnaire individually. Plus that’s an awkward sentence being spewed forth by Superboy in the second one. Although, come to think of it, it might be fun to do, say at work (“I, the editor, will use my Bachelor of English to search for extraneous punctuation.”) or at the comic bookshop (I, the giant nerd, will use my Blogger account to bitch about Countdown.”). It could clear up a lot of ambiguity about people’s upcoming goals and the means by which they will achieve them!

I love the old standby of making something alien by making it super big, like that wedding ring. But honestly: who sets up an exhibit on marriage customs in a museum for use by a group of people who aren’t allowed to get married? If I could think up any super-villains who were also museum curators I would certainly be suspicious (Composite Superman? Dammit, no. He was a museum janitor). Well, it was someone with a mean streak, anyway.

Also, Lightning Lad is an idiot. Robot arms make you way more loveable, man. It’s like, a million times more extreme than that lip ring/soul patch combo you were thinking about.

Oh, how I love the Phantom Girl/ Ultra Boy duo. Look at him: that’s possibly the goofiest, most lovestruck expression I’ve ever seen in a comic book. That big dumb ox is just so darned endearing.

You know, I’d think that Brainiac 5 might be more interested in harnessing the crazy energy that everyone was giving off in that first panel, instead of being all snarky. I mean, necking teenagers as a power source? The implications are mind-blowing!

I like these aliens because they mostly just look like someone kept messing with a drawing of a regular guy until he looked slightly inhuman. “Let’s see… give ‘em big ears, an overbite, a widow’s peak, heavy brows… aaaaand… jaundice. Yeah, that’s pretty otherworldly.”

Huh. Turns out that the first third of this story's mostly setup. Well, I assure you that there will be action aplenty in our next installment, along with even more nitpicking and taking things out of context!

Adventure Comics No. 337, you'll get your judgement when I get some more plot.

REVIEW DEFERRED

This Week's Haul: So Very Late

/

Once again, these reviews are ridiculously late. I have my stupid financial accounting exam tomorrow night, and then I'm free until January 7th! Sweeeeet!

Countdown Week 21
Trickster is still dead and Piper is still sad. So am I.

Countdown: Arena #1

And the Lord sayeth to Monarch "Build an arena 300 cubits by 300 cubits, and bring into the arena three of every superhero. Preferably you will choose the most ridiculous of each superhero. And make them fight to the death, for I am bored."

This, folks, is the definition of entertainment for the lowest common denominator.

I don't even know what to say about it. It's ridiculous and bad and I really, really don't understand why this "event" is happening.

Justice League of America #15

I am so close to dropping this, and that is just wrong. I'm a big JLA fan. I'm a big McDuffie fan. So why does this suck? I dunno, but it does.

It's just generally not fun or interesting. And it's full of really awkward jokes.

And also, who's drawing this thing? Sisqo?

Thong-thong-thong-thong-thong.

Canary's got dumps like a truck!

The All-New Atom #18

Ah! Now here's the best JLA-related story I've read in awhile! And the best Wonder Woman story I've read in awhile!

I actually totally adored this issue. I loved every panel. Like this one:

And this one:

And also The Atom being burned alive on a Ted Grant (snicker) Indoor Grill! And Wonder Woman licking her thumb and rubbing the blood off the Atom's head! So good.

But please don't let The Head be dead!

Avengers The Initiative Annual #1

Awesome! Not only is this everything I hope for when I pick up an annual, it's the first comic to move the Skrull storyline along in awhile. Everything interesting that is happening in the Marvel universe is happening in this series (and in the ones that Brubaker writes, of course, but those are, like, their own universe. An awesome universe).

Everyone is talking about Skrulls over in The New Avengers, but in The Initiative we're seeing some honest-to-God Skrulls. And some great back stories for all the main characters.

World War Hulk: Aftersmash

Hulk smashed. New York is a mess. Iron Man is an insufferable prick.

The most awesome thing about this comic is the Mini Marvels comic at the back.

So, so good. Marvel needs to put these into every comic. And release a book that collects them.

Please note Daredevil in the upper right corner of this panel:

I did a spit-take.

Jonah Hex #26

Man. This was messed up. I read this right before bed and I had a bad case of the jeeblies. This story is probably going to stay with me for awhile.

It was really awesome, though. And the art was fantastic!

Robin #169

Beautiful art! Lame tie-in! I mean, seriously, how many times have I heard this story?

Totally Evil Guy: "I can bring your loved ones back from the dead, all you have to do is whatever crazy thing I say!"

Noble Hero: "Really?"

Totally Evil Guy: "Yup. For reals."

Usually Very Intelligent Hero: "Well...alright then."

Other Hero(es) Present: "You probably shouldn't listen to that guy. He's evil."

Disappointing Hero: "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! WHY SHOULD I BE ALLOWED TO LIVE WHEN MY PARENTS/SISTER/GIRLFRIEND/SIDEKICK/BROTHER/BEST FRIEND/UNCLE BEN IS DEAD?!"

Other Hero(es): "Yeah, that sucks...but the thing is, you're probably just going to die, and then the evil guy won't actually bring back your loved ones. I mean, why would he?"

Dumb Hero: "Screw you! I'm doing it!"

Comic: TO BE CONTINUED!

Really, Tim. I expected better from you.

Now, the most important thing to come out this week, of course, is the Saga of the Super Sons trade paperback. It is, hands down, the campiest thing you can own. It's just brilliantly terrible, and everyone should own it. My love/hate relationship for the Super Sons knows no bounds.

Review of the Reviewers, By Johnathan

/

It occurs to me that now that I've lured Paul back to the reviewing I should take a moment to explain just what's going on here. Paul's a programmer and computer nerd, while I'm an editor and comic book nerd. "But wait," you shout, "this blog is filled with typos and misplaced punctuation. What the hell kind of editor are you?" Answer: the kind that doesn't really feel like editing after a long day of editing, that's what kind.

The site's based on an old idea that we had in high school about how we'd become famous consumer advocates or something like that and stamp products with JOHN APPROVED or PAUL APPROVED for money because our opinion was so valued. Come to think of it, I'd still like to do that. Anyone want cheap endorsements?

Anyway, now you know the crazy, unknown story.

JOHN APPROVED (narcissism!)