Rating The Super Hunks #19: Iron Fist (Daniel Rand)

Time to revisit one of my favourite features here at LBW. It's been awhile since I've rated a superhunk, and it isn't because I've lost interest in hunky superheroes. Believe me. Let's take a look at the sexiest man this side of K'un L'un...

DANNY RAND, AKA THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST

"Well, one guy does."

Costume/Appearance:

The classic Iron Fist costume has all the makings of a typical douchebag club outfit. Most noticeably, we have a giant chest tattoo of a dragon, exposed by an open shirt, and a massive popped collar. Danny's costume also boldly includes trendy elements from female fashion such as capri-cut leggings, ballet flats, and a ribbon belt. Add to that a pretty crazy facemask with long ribbon tails flying off the end, paint the whole outfit lime green and canary yellow, and you have a look that's so insane it has to be respected.

Available at H&M.

And you know what's sexy? A big glowing fist.

Shhh, cow. Shhh.

Under the hood, Danny Rand is the super hero that most closely resembles my real life boyfriend. Slim, blonde, giant chest tattoo (I'm kidding). He's a good-looking guy.

Looks better without bandages.

Small build for a super-hero, particularly when standing next to his massive pal, Power Man. But he's, y'know, approachable-looking. Not really hunky or macho, or even dreamy, but he's cute. And his fist glows so he's always well-lit.

Lookin' good, Fist!

8/10

Personality:

See, normally I see a wealthy white guy who is really into Asian stuff and I think "what a douche" and walk away. But Danny makes it work.

It was an evil shirt.

Danny had a somewhat unconventional childhood. And by unconventional, I mean his wealthy father took him to a mythical city as a boy to study martial arts. During this family vacation, Danny witnessed the horrible deaths of both of his parents. He ended up sticking around and mastering martial arts, eventually obtaining the power of the Iron Fist by ramming his fist into the heart of a dragon. Despite these seemingly traumatic events, Danny is very well-balanced and laid back. I would attribute this to the fact that he: a) is incredibly wealthy, and b) can punch through pretty much anything with his big glowing fist.

I know what you're thinking: the heir to a family fortune who witnessed the deaths of his parents and then learned the hell out of martial arts before returning to America? Sounds a lot like Batman. Yeah, except you could actually hang out with Danny Rand for more than five minutes without wanting to kill yourself. You can party with Danny. He's a fun guy. Maybe it's because he's a Marvel, maybe it's because he was created in the seventies (aka - the party decade), but Iron Fist is an enjoyable character. And he has cool friends.

9/10

Day Job:

He inherited his dad's company and now he's crazy rich. Despite this, he charged for his superhero services as one of the Heroes for Hire. Is that weird?

He hates China.

Hey, y'know what was sexy? When Danny Rand was Daredevil for awhile. That was cool.

8/10

Sexiness of Super Powers:

Big. Glowing. Fist.

Can you sense the sheer, naked power?

10/10

Cons:

From reading Power Man and Iron Fist comics, the New Avengers, and even from reading the current Iron Fist series I don't get a sense that Danny is the brightest bulb in the Marvel universe.

Doonsbury strip.

He's not a detective, really. And he'd kinda dull. And he maybe shouldn't stand next to his very tall and attractive friend Power Man all the time.

- 3

John Schneider as Iron Fist.

FINAL SCORE: 33/40

Not bad, Fist! That actually places you ahead of Daredevil, which seems highly unlikely. I guess when you don't leave a trail of dead girlfriends in your wake, it helps you score higher as a hunk.

And now I leave you with an unintentionally sexy panel:

So much innuendo in one panel.

More Iron Man PIctures!

Because you can't have too many...

Here's FCBD volunteer helper Hillary with Iron Man:

And, since Halifax has been hosting the IIHF World Men's Hockey Championship for the past week or so, here's Iron Man with some German hockey fans:

And some Slovakian hockey fans:

All the world loves Iron Man!

Free Comic Book Day With Iron Man!

I've been meaning to post these for days. Here are some pictures from the Strange Adventures Free Comic Book Day 2008 Celebration. It was once again held in the St. David's Church Hall up the street from the shop. There were 20,000 free comic books available to the public. Also...Iron Man was there!

I really can't get enough photos of Iron Man walking around doing stuff.

Here's Iron Man with Darwyn Cooke, who was once again kind enough to spend the day doing free sketches for people:

And here's Iron Man with me:

The man in the iron suit is the guy I'm marrying. He can't take credit for making this awesome costume, though. It's the handiwork of the talented Jay Silver.

Here are some more photos, these ones taken by Spencer Cantley:

Aw, it looks like Iron Man's snaps came undone in that last one.

Needless to say, Iron Man was a huge hit with the kids (and the grown-ups). I'm glad it was a nice day for once.

Review of Tedium, By Johnathan

Hey, all. Remember how I said that the posts would come fast and furious once I finished that SARLSH malarkey? We,, I probably should have added an "unless I get tied up in the longest and thired-most-hellish move of my life" caveat. Because that's what happened. On the up side, it's done, I have a new cat roommate, and the Internets are back in town. I guess I could have written some stuff while I was offline for later posting, but that smacked of effort, man. One thing, however, did stick in my tired, bitter craw: last week's Action Comics No. 864. Well, one aspect of it, at least (Lightning Lad vs. Batman was great). Let's watch:

So the big-reveal surprise villain in Action Comics this month was a) not a huge surprise and b) the friggin' Time Trapper. I hate the friggin' Time Trapper. He was an interesting villain for all of three Silver Age stories, I swear, back when he was basically just a reason that the Legion could go into the past but not the future, even with all of their Mighty Technology. In fact, he was entertaining for exactly one story, the one that also introduced the equally-hateful Glorith, when he managed to turn a third of the Legion into irritating babies and kicked Invisible Tot around. Ever since then, the Time Trapper has functioned almost exclusively as a gigantic, nigh-unbeatable threat, trotted out to shake up the status quo with a few shocking deaths or resolve some continuity point with a time quake or something. He's featured in more angsty, dreary storylines than the entire cast of Dawson's Creek. And no matter how many times he's tediously defeated, he just keeps coming back - which isn't much different than, say, Darkseid, but at least Darkseid is fun.

BAH! NOT APPROVED.

Well! I was certainly filled with vitriol, hey? Needed a little more sleep? Well, I'm well-rested now, but I basically agree. Every time the Time Trapper shows up in a story I heave a little sigh and prepare to slog through some boring comic book. It's like... like reading a late-eighties crossover event. Or 8 out of 10 early Image comics. Don't get me wrong, I'm not writing this story off just yet. I'll be the first one to applaud if anything interesting is added to ol' TT's story - I just ain't holding my breath.

This is what I meant when I was talking about him kicking Invisible Moppet. Kicking Silver Age DC toddlers = comic gold! This one instant of the Time Trapper's life is:

JOHN APPROVED

Charlotte, Here I Come!

I am officially going to Charlotte, NC for HeroesCon in June! I am very excited. Not only have I never been to North Carolina before, I have never been to a comic convention before! I hear this is a really good one.

The nice boys from The Dollar Bin invited me down, so I'll be hanging out at their table (I believe) when I'm not running around the convention centre totally overwhelmed and exploding with nerdy glee. Or when I'm not eating as much pit BBQ as humanly possible.

So if you are going to be at HeroesCon, let me know and we can meet and chat and stuff. Or drink beer. I like beer.

I have a limited knowledge of Charlotte. I basically associate two things with the city: BBQ and Charlotte Hornets Starter Jackets:

Stylin'! I picture every resident of Charlotte wearing this at all times.

I can't wait!

What's Cyclops Whining About This Time?

Here's a long train of thought that is pretty unique to Cyclops:

Really. No one else could ever have those exact thoughts.

Ah, comic books. I love you. You're not going to find people moping about this stuff on Law & Order.

Now that's good television!

The Cyclops panel is from The Uncanny X-Men #29.