This Week's Haul: Grab Bag Week

Every four to five weeks or so I hit what I call the 'grab bag week.' This was one of those weeks. The big titles this week were, of course Buffy and Dark Tower, but since I don't read those I get an odd selection of sidekicks and minor characters. With a couple of notable Marvel exceptions.

Nightwing #145

This has actually turned itself into a really good Bat title. The current storyline is totally messed up and insane, but very fun. And the Morales art has been fantastic.

This issue is also monumental because, I believe, it's the first time I've seen the word 'vaginally' in a mainstream superhero comic. And it's not even used the way you'd expect in a Nightwing comic!

Robin/Spoiler Special

As I mentioned in the comment section of the last post, I don't really care one way or the other about the lack of memorial in the Batcave for poor Stephanie Brown. I liked her as a character, I hated everything about the War Games storyline, and I am glad that she's back. I think the whole "Hey guys! I faked my own death! Leslie helped!" return is pretty lazy, but I forgive it. I kinda feel the same way about it that I do about Brand New Day: I don't care how they did it, as long as they fixed it.

So this comic was pretty good. Two stories, both by Chuck Dixon and both with great art. I enjoy Robin and Spoiler together. It's got a nice old school Robin/Batgirl feel. Stephanie is the Barbara to Tim's Dick.

Wait. That didn't come out right.

Secret Invasion #3

Alright, here we go.

So, is Tony Stark a Skrull or what? And if he is, is that good or bad? I mean, obviously that's an easy way to explain away why he's such a douche now, but at the same time...

Well, either way, Yu has been at the top of his game with the art on this series so far. And I'll say this: whatever is happening in this whole Secret Invasion thing, it's holding my interest. Keep it up, Marvel!

Jonah Hex #32

Matador vs Bull!

Bear vs Bull!

Hex vs Bull!

Hex vs Scum Bag!

And all with fabulous Jordi Bernet art! Darwyn Cooke is doing the art for the next issue, in which Hex travels to Canada! I can't wait! I'll bet Darwyn draws some attractive mounties!

Justice Society of America #16

I really like comics/television episodes where the characters are granted wishes, so I really enjoyed this.

Damage gets his face fixed! Yay!

Lookin' good, buddy! We should introduce Gog to Jonah Hex.

Overall, I'm not super into this whole Kingdom Come storyline, but I really like this big, happy Gog.

And I like that Black Adam is working his way back into a JSA title.

Midnighter #20

This is a the final issue in a story that, I'm just gonna say it, got pretty bland after Giffen took over. Love Giffen, but this just wasn't a good run. This series started with a fantastic Ennis story about traveling through time to kill Hitler, and continued to be very good until the latest storyline. This issue, however, was pretty good. Certainly very violent, which is the reason to read Midnighter comics.

I am sorry it's canceled because I was hoping for a day that it would get awesome again. Oh well. If only the Morrison/Ha Authority comics would ever continue.

Justice League Unlimited #46

Another final issue. I find it sad when an all-ages title bites the dust, but I guess it's inevitable when the series has been off the air for several years. And, really, the series was more for nerdy adults than kids anyway. The end of this series means the end of the fantastic institution that is Justice League Unlimited. A great show, and a fun comic. This issue, much like every issue of this series, probably had too much going on in it for young kids, which is why Super Friends makes a lot more sense as an all-ages title. But it did make me think that a Green Lantern Corps cartoon series/all-ages comic would be a great idea. I mean, come on...Gnort? Gnort is made for all-ages reading!

Trinity #1

I love the cover because Superman is all "My logo's in focus! Bam!" As an aside...I really hate that Trinity logo. It's like "We need a logo for this series...pile them all on top of each other! No wait...that looks weird...um, blur the bottom two."

I had pretty low expectations for this, after the crushing disappointment that was Countdown. This wasn't bad though. At worst, it was boring. And that's just how I felt. Maybe I just don't have the energy for another weekly. The issue was fine, I just didn't read it and think "Sign me up for another 51 issues of this!"

The Amazing Spider-Man #561

This was SO GOOD. Really, there are no complaints at all about this series so far coming from me. Especially if they are putting people like Marcos Martin on art. (It should come as no surprise that I am a huge fan of Batgirl: Year One).

I never thought I would say this, but Spider-Man is now one of my favourite titles. And JLA is one of my least favourite. What crazy, upside-down times we live in.

Sorry these reviews are so late this week. I was having some computer troubles. Better late than never though, right? And I am trying really hard to not make it never.

High-Tech Tomorrow: Review of the Time-Mirror, By Johnathan

Just as Infectious Lass' soul-crushing rejection inspired the Super-Human Detritus series of reviews, today's entry is the inspiration for this catalogue of the majestic wonder that is 30th Century technology - and it didn't even take me half as long to get around to as Infectious Lass did!

Every once in a while, the Legion would get a big pile of gifts from some planet or other, in gratitude for the time that they defeated Galtor the Demon Spacegoat or stopped Validus from double-parking or gave their people sound financial advice. These interstellar gift-fests are third cousins to the sublime Legion Try-outs, only instead of being all "Lookit the weirdos and the weird stuff they do!" they instead are all "Lookit all the weird stuff and the weird stuff it do!". It's a fine distinction, but it's there nonetheless. Gift-gettings were never quite as entertaining as the Try-outs, due to the reduced chances of some poor slob having her/his dreams pulverized, but they're still some good fun.

Enough meandering preamble! On to the Time-Mirror!

For all that it has only one panel-worth of Pre-Crisis continuity, the Time-Mirror raises quite a few intriguing questions. Firstly, what is Saturn Girl so durned happy about? Sure it's a neat rick, but has she taken a good look at that image? Now, I don't subscribe to any fashion-model standard of beauty, but this isn't about me. I have met precious few women (nor girls, lasses or princesses) who would react with delight upon seeing that a future version of themselves has developed hips wide enough that she cannot comfortably stand at rest with her hands in front of them. Maybe she hasn't looked that far down? I mean, the gray hair looks good, the glasses are nice and she seems to have kept her skin free of unfortunate melanoma - maybe these discoveries have drawn Saturn Girl's attention and she has not yet noticed that under that high-belted skirt she has apparently doubled in width? Or maybe that mysterious bald patch in her hair hints at experiments in trepannation?

And how exactly does this Time-Mirror work, anyway? Does it actually look through time to find a picture of you when you're older? Is Karate Kid in for a big surprise the next time he visits the Hall of Gifts? Seems like a bad/depressing use of time travel technology, really. Maybe the mirror contains a complex computer that analyses your physical structure and researches your family medical history and then generates a picture based on all of this evidence? Or did the people of Xalla go cheap and just send a mirror that takes your picture, grays the hair, adds glasses and about 20 pounds and hikes up the old waistline a bit? What will Cosmic Boy see if he looks? Will he also be very hippy?

And just why does Saturn Gran have her legs crossed like she has to pee?

Time-Mirror, you make my head hurt.

NOT APPROVED

In case you were wondering, here's what was in that box that Cosmic Boy was opening"

A plant that grows a tiny belligerent dinosaur?

JOHN APPROVED

This Week's Haul: Too many awesome comics aaaaahhh I'm gonna explode!

A perfect storm of comic books.

It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's always exciting, and makes for a busy day at the ol' comic shop. This week was one of those weeks. Plus, I live in Canada so I actually got my comics on Wednesday!

Before I even begin, let's look at the all-star line-up of writers we had serving up the good stuff this week: Not one, not two, but three books by Grant Morrison, two by Geoff Johns, two by Ed Brubaker, plus books by Joss Whedon, Jeff Parker, Sean McKeever, Will Pfeifer, and Matt Fraction. Truly an awesome week.

Here are my thoughts on some of what I read:

Final Crisis #1

I hear people saying things like "Yeah, I don't know about Final Crisis...I guess I'll just see how the reviews are." To those people I say: guys, seriously. This is a sure thing. It's Grant Morrison and it's J.G. Jones. This is as safe as betting that I will never, ever see the Sex in the City movie.

The first issue was great. Really great. It was exciting, original, insane and laugh-out-loud funny at times.

And the art was beautiful. And most of the tie-ins are going to be written by Geoff Johns! What more do you want?!

Giant Size Astonishing X-Men #1

The most eagerly anticipated book finally hit the shelves this week. This exceeded my high expectations, I don't know about you guys. Just an awesome read. And long! With no ads! I enjoyed having Joss Whedon writing some of the extended Marvel universe characters who show up in this book, including Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, Dr Strange, and Iron Man.

I also enjoyed John Cassaday drawing them.

I don't care if that facial expression is physically impossible. I LOVE IT!

What if they teamed up for a 3-issue arc on Amazing Spider-Man?! Oh man!

Anyway, this was a very good comic. Worth the ridiculously long wait.

All-Star Superman #11

I can't believe this is almost over. I actually can't stand the thought of a world without new issues of this series. It's heartbreaking. Almost as heartbreaking as this issue was. Man, it was so good.

This series features my very favourite Lex Luthor ever. He's just perfectly written. So arrogant and so brilliant and so funny.

Really, every character is perfect. So as much as I can't wait for the next issue, it's going to be a sad day when it comes.

Batman #677

I don't know how into this event I am as a storyline with tie-ins, but I will reserve judgement. I am really liking the two issues of Batman so far in this story, though. As much as I don't care about Jet Jezebel as a character (her biggest flaw: she's not Catwoman), I did enjoy her sensible opinions about Bruce's probable insanity in this issue.

Seriously, Bruce. She has a point.

I especially loved that she mentioned witnessing the brutal murder of her own father, and how she didn't respond to it by becoming a vigilante in a bat costume.

Overall, this storyline is just really damn interesting, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Action Comics #865

Geoff Johns sets some things right in the world of Superman in this issue. Most importantly, he cleans up this whole Toyman mess that has been happening for decades. He brings Toyman back to being one guy, with one look. No more crazy interpretations. It's well done. And I appreciate it because, yeesh, that shit was getting confusing.

He also is bringing Cat Grant back to Metropolis! Yay!

This really was an awesome issue. I know it's going to get buried under all the other awesome this week, but you'd do well to pick it up.

Green Lantern #31

Geoff Johns again! I've been enjoying this Secret Origins arc because, as I've said before, I'll never get tired of reading Hal Jordan's origin story. And Johns' sense of humour really makes for a great re-telling.

Plus, y'know, gorgeous art. I can't wait until this is collected into a trade and I can sell it to people who want to be introduced to Green Lantern. Although, New Frontier is pretty much unbeatable for that too. But this brings in Sinestro, and these days that's all that new Lantern fans care about.

I loved this panel too:

Oh, Hal, honey. We know.

Daredevil #107

Dakota totally rules. She's just saying what we're all thinking.

Uncanny X-Men #498

Hey, look what I'm reading now!

I think it was the cover with Cyclops and Emma in the sixties get-up from last month that got me interested. Or maybe I was just bothered by the fact that there was a Brubaker title on the shelves that I wasn't reading. Or maybe I just needed a fix while waiting for Giant Size Astonishing. Whatever the reason, I added this title to my pull list and have been enjoying this story arc immensely so far. I also immensely enjoyed the extreme beefcake bondage cover this week. Oh Wolverine. Always getting tied up with your shirt off.

I read an unprecedented number of X-Men books this week, I think. And they were all really good. Besides the ones I'm writing about here, I also enjoyed Wolverine First Class and, as always X-Men First Class (complete with yet another adorable Colleen Coover back-up!).

Blue Beetle #27

Will Pfeifer steps in to guest write this issue and does a great job. It's a fun, wacky story that perfectly suits the title. Plus, there's lots of Traci Thirteen, which I am pleased about. Will Pfeifer rules.

And the cover, by Rafael Albuquerque, is really beautiful too.

Man, how is next week going to live up to this week?! It's just not possible!

Comics Are For Everybody!

Hey y'all. There's a new blog for you to check out. This one is written by my pal/bandmate/comic shop co-worker, Tiina Johns. It's over at the Shameless Magazine site (a Canadian feminist blog/magazine) and it's called Comics Are For Everybody. It aims to introduce people to comic books who may otherwise be intimidated or feel that comics have nothing to offer them. Tiina loves to recommend books to new comic readers, and that's just what she's doing on this blog.

Quick Reviews: Super Friends #3 and Marvel Adventures Avengers #24

As is often the case, this week the best comics were the all-ages ones. There were other good comics for sure; Catwoman and The Spirit were both exceptionally good, but the all-ages titles rocked it.

Super Friends #3

This was really funny. I felt that so far this series was good for really young kids, but very bland. This issue, however, was very cute and entertaining. Mostly because Faust was wearing finger puppets that control the Super Friends. And also because he instructs the kids on how to make their own puppets.

And then when he uses the brainwashed Super Friends to collect the three mystical items (wheel, bell, jar), he can't open the jar...because he has puppets on his fingers!

And if he takes them off, the Super Friends will clobber him! Oh, Faust. You gotta think these things through!

Ok, and also...the Super Friends decide to all switch costumes because that way the finger puppets won't work (?). My first thought was "Who does Wonder Woman switch with? She's the only female!"

Of course. I'll bet this whole plan was Aquaman's idea. It's probably his plan for everything. "Hey guys, let's all switch costumes! I'll be Wonder Woman!"

Bonus panels!

I love this because you know Aquaman has been waiting for a really long time to yell this:

And Superman just cuts him off with a big ol' hand. Poor Aquaman.

Also...Batman visiting Superman in jail!

Adorable!

Marvel Adventures Avengers #24

Jeff Parker is only writing a couple more issues of this, which is too bad. It really is the best Avengers comic on the stands.

In this issue the Avengers all suddenly really hate each other and fight constantly. It's funny. It all starts when Captain America gets zapped with a mysterious ray gun and bowls Ant Man over with a cob of corn during lunch.

And that leads to this hilarious argument:

The team realizes there's a problem, so they call up the guy who knows the most about anger management:

"Yes, it's purple." Ha!

After a therapy session with Doc Samson, the Avengers are told they need to go fight some bad guys to get the rage out of their systems. So they go pick a fight with Hydra. It doesn't work, and more hilarious arguing ensues:

It's a great comic. I highly recommend.

Super-Human Detritus of the Thirtieth Century: Review of Antennae Boy and the Dynamo Kid, By Johnathan

Ah-ha-ha! Super-Detritus reviews ride again! I have no idea why I've gone so long without doing one of these things. Well, partially responsible is the profound laziness that set in as soon as I moved in to my fantastic new apartment (Review? No! Play with the cat? Yes!). Now, though, I'm back, full of vim and vigour and ready to poke fun at the Silver Age.

Today, we're looking at one of the earlier Legion tryouts, in Adventure Comics No. 305. This was one issue after Lightning Lad had sacrificed his life to keep Saturn Girl from... sacrificing her life to keep anyone else from dying whilst fighting some pirates or something (look, it was perfectly clear at the time. There was a little crystal spaceship with a prophecy inside and everything). This was a reasonably big deal, except for the fact that it was implied one page after his death that he would be resurrected. Of all improbable comic book death-undoings, Lightning Lad's was perhaps the most telegraphed.

But no matter! As of when we are talking about, ol' Garth's death is still a fresh wound and everyone's very sad:

Very, very sad, in fact. I like the theme coffin setup that they have here, though it leads me to unhealthy speculation regarding the fate of other Legion corpses. When Sun Boy died, did they just leave him out in the sun? Is there a mechanized hand above Karate Kid, chopping for all eternity? What the hell will they come up with if Bouncing Boy ever dies?

I've mentioned the Legion's Pygmalion-esque love of statuary before, and this is a great example: a statue commemorating the heroic sacrifice of Lightning Lad, a statue of the tragically exiled Mon-El and, just for the hell of it, a Sun Boy statue. I can't decide if the Legionnaires are all hopelessly in love with themselves or with each other. Either way, it's a safe bet that they all have mirrors on the ceiling above their beds.

Now: keep in mind that everyone is very, very sad. Lightning Lad appears to have died, like, within the last week.

I am: Tactless Boy! My abilities include acting like a complete tool and an aptitude for designing shirts that are far, far too busy (seriously, if you've got Showcase Presents: The Legion of Super Heroes, Vol. 1, check this panel out. The lack of colour highlights just how much is going on on this top and just how wrong it is). So, your friend is dead? Well, how can that benefit me?

(Incidentally, the brown-clad guy on the left is Mon-El, playing a "hilarious" joke by applying for membership under an assumed name. Just so you know)

Ah, Antennae Boy. I like the name of your planet, but your ears are possibly the grossest in all comicdom. All I can do is stare at those little hook-shaped growths and imagine the awful things that must happen whenever you are called upon to push through some dense underbrush. I mean, glasses are bad enough, but those things look designed to cause you pain and humiliation.

Every once in a while, that "Three-Eyed Sam from the planet WHAM!" line runs through my head and i try to set it to music or envision just who is singing it. My best guess is that 3-5 sultry ladies are sing-speaking it in unison and that Three-Eyed Sam is a bit like Shaft.

Whereas that Josephine/time machine line is very folk-rock in my mind. 808 Dy-7an sang it in 2605, during the Acoustic Guitar Renaissance. The Kennedy re-election thing, I don't know.

Antennae Boy is one of those applicants who might have had a chance if he hadn't gotten ahead of himself. Given a year or so of training, he might have been able to showcase the usefulness of being able to pick up broadcasts from the future instead of just randomly blasting out sound. Plus, his powers would be very useful for research. Also, no Legionnaire would ever again have to worry about leaving his iPod Yocto behind and having to endure a music-less mission. Over-confidence strikes again! Still, I like that shirt, so:

JOHN APPROVED

Okay, first impressions of the Dynamo Kid. Pros: I like the little bow, the crackling energy is kind of neat and a super-hero with a literal rather than figurative fat head is kind of novel. Cons: that's a fairly hideous costume, he's completely tactless, and the little pause before he says his name is super pretentious. Still, you have to give a guy a chance, right?

Just an aside: I hope that if the day ever comes that flying billboards are a reality it's far enough in the future that I have some chance of having developed lightning-based powers. Because I'll want to blast 'em good.

"I use my powers to engage in wanton destruction of property! I casually mention how rich I am! Let me into your altruistic club! I won't be insufferable, I promise!"

Okay, "AWP!" is a great sound to make when your deception is discovered.

Looking at how fat his head is in this panel, though. I think that that green thing around his waist is a girdle.

I know he's just miscoloured, but I like that look on Invisible Kid.

You know, this could have been a pretty good plot. The old-school Legion were suspicious as hell, and someone sneaking around taking notes and asking questions would have built them into a frenzy of paranoia, probably directed at Cosmic Boy (because the Legion never suspects the right person until the last second, that's why. Just ask Matter-Eater Lad). It could have stretched a cross a couple of issues, maybe with the Legion getting all perturbed over a series of exposes on all of the dirty teenage sex that was going on in that innocuous-looking yellow spaceship.

But alas, the Dynamo Kid never appeared in 'Secret of the Shocking Sex Scandals' and I've changed my mind about the fat head being charming. I've kind of grown to like the horizontal lightning stripe, though.

Nonetheless, he's NOT APPROVED