All the fun of Batman: Arkham Asylum...now a video game!

According to Newsarama, there is a new Batman video game in the works.

Batman: Arkham Asylum.

I know that, like, 99% of super hero video games suck, and yet I still get excited for each and every one.

I actually liked the Batman Begins game quite a bit. You got to be sneaky and clever, and I like that. This game sounds like it will be scary. Batman meets Silent Hill.

I hope it's actually based directly on the book, and that the Joker hits on Batman in creepy, creepy ways.

So, just in case anyone still cares about Smallville...

As unlikely as this sounds, Smallville will be entering its eighth season this fall. This means it outlasted Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The West Wing, The Sopranos, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Veronica Mars, Arrested Development, and a whole hell of a lot more acclaimed shows.

Lex and Lana are leaving the cast, which makes the list of people who are no longer on a show called Smallville, who really should be on a show called Smallville, a little bit longer.

- Lana Lang

- Lex Luthor

- Pete Ross

- Martha Kent

- Jonathan Kent

That seems kinda wrong to me. Also, Lionel Luthor is gone. So, really, what's the point?

AND...the following characters ARE on a show called Smallville, who really shouldn't be:

- Lois Lane

- Jimmy Olsen

- Martian Manhunter

- Green Arrow

- Doomsday

Well, at least Chloe is still around. And apparently Supergirl isn't going to be back.

Er, I mean...I don't still watch Smallville.

Super-Human Detritus of the Thirtieth Century: Review of Green Guy and Camera Eye, by Johnathan

I have listened to the will of the people, and just under half of them want to hear about some future-losers with super-powers. This poll thing seems to be working all right, so I'll be keeping it up for a while - not necessarily in any consistent format, mind you.

Today we'll look at a couple of guys from way, way back in the day (Adventure Comics No. 307, that's how way). I've been kind of putting off discussing them for a while now, not because they're not rich and fascinating topics for online pontification but because they've only got one panel of action - their combined in-continuity adventures span one-third of one page. Thankfully, on further investigation I found that a full two-thirds of the page in question was suitable for discussion, so the Internet will get to hear my opinions after all!

Here's the Legion, fresh from an encounter with the arch-pirate Roxxas, who has been flying around with his band of cutthroats stealing simply everything in sight - seriously, he goes to one planet and basically ends up making off with all of their light bulbs. The Legionnaires are concerned that they don't have the numbers to take on this murderous, awful, bloodthirsty crew, so they hit upon the idea of signing up a few new recruits, presumably as cannon fodder. Note that Invisible Kid is wearing that same black-hair-and-yellow-jumpsuit number that he was sporting during the Dynamo Kid audition. Colouring error or early-onset midlife crisis ("Bright colours - bright colours are young, right? And... and I'll dye my hair black! Get a sporty hover-car, a sexy Durlan ladyfriend - nobody'll ever guess that I'm an old man of seventeen.)?

Having neglected to give a name, this youngster is variously identified as Green Boy, Green Guy and possibly Green Lad. Me, I figure that anyone who bothers to inject himself with chemicals until he gets a side-effect that qualifies as a super-power just (I assume) so's he can apply for a club is going to think up something a bit more grandiose than that. Lime Lad? Emerald Ed? Ral Kint, the Chlorochromaticistic Kid? Guess we'll never know, though, so I'm going with Green Guy, 'cause it's short and I like alliteration.

Green Guy might - just might - be the most delusional person ever to walk away from Legion HQ with a consolation flight belt. He's at least in the running beside Rann Antar. Check him out: from the explanation that he has just given I am lead to believe that his powers affect only the world around him. I mean, he's not turning green, that's for sure. So a) why the hell is he decked out in blue and orange when a quick trip to the Army/Navy Surplus (Stormtrooper/Spacefleet Surplus) could at least lend a little weight to his argument and b) how the hell is that any use in camouflage? Even on a world with green foliage, wouldn't that field of greenifying rays just make him easier to spot? He'd just be this blue-and-orange figure at the centre of a blobby field of green. Boo, Green Guy, boo. You're lucky that Sun Boy was feeling uncharacteristically kind and let you down easy with that "Different planets have different leaves." excuse. On any other tryout day he'd just roar "REJECTED!" and set your hair on fire.

NOT APPROVED

Next up is Camera Eye (again, best guess on the name), a comparatively normal youth. Amusingly, he is green. Man, I got so worked up about Green Guy that I'm a bit spent on the old "Making fun of guys" front. Okay, here goes: Camera Eye, you'd have maybe the barest hint of a chance of getting into the Legion as some sort of living sex-tape maker or something if you weren't such a liar. At the risk of sounding like exactly the kind of pedantic nerd that I am: when the hell did Superboy ever meet Bizarro? Never, that's when, you liar. Oh, he met Bizarro Superboy, sure, but that's clearly a bizarro Superman up there. Go on home, Camera Eye. Go home and watch videos of yourself crying in the mirror. Jerk.

Nice shirt, though. Still, NOT APPROVED.

And I just threw this one in because Element Lad's costume looks pretty nifty with that question mark on it. And the lad himself looks particularly elfin, I must say. Also: surprisingly jaunty for someone who recently became the only one of his kind.

Away!

Random Updates

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I have been watching so much Buffy lately. I believe I have mentioned this before, but I had never watched the show before. Now I have just finished season six (the downer season). This means that I FINALLY got to see the musical episode, which I always refused to watch until I had watched the rest of the series leading up to it. I felt that I had to earn it.

Anyway, it was amazing, of course.

This show is so addictive. I am not exaggerating when I say this: lately I spend more hours a day watching Buffy than I do paying attention to the events in my own real life. I am starting to forget where one ends and one begins. Which is weird.

I always thought those girls who were all into Spike when the show was on, and bought Spike calendars and such, were total losers. Like, he's clearly unattractive and whatnot. But now I am totally so into Spike. So I really liked season six.

And Angel sucks. Suuuuuucks. Although I am enjoying his show more than I was led to believe.

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I have my final exams for the summer (that sounds so wrong) next week and then I have two weeks of freedom. I have been thinking about different ways to spend these upcoming two weeks, and I have decided to do absolutely nothing. I may never get that chance again! So, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to hang out at home and maybe try to finally clean and organize this apartment. I have already gotten all the action figures in one place. I got lots of nice decorative items for my wedding and they just don't really go with Cheat Commandos figures.

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Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane is back! I had some serious doubts about this, mostly because Terry Moore was taking over. Not that I think Terry Moore sucks at writing (I'm not a Strangers in Paradise fan, but that's more because of the genre than the writing), I just didn't think he was the man for this job. Especially because, prior to taking the gig, he had never read the comic before.

I also feel that, while this is definitely a different kind of Marvel comic, in that it is set in high school and centres on a teen girl and her love life, it's still a Marvel super hero book. One of my favourite things about it is that we see, in almost every issue, a different Marvel character. We see Spider-Man fighting various villains, and new heroes and members of the Spider-Man family get introduced into the cast all the time. It's a great way to let young readers, and in particular, young female readers, learn about the Marvel Universe. So I sincerely hope that Terry Moore will continue that.

I read the first issue, which came out yesterday, of the new series. I was worried that it was going to be a re-launch, but it did actually continue where Sean McKeever left off. And it was pretty good. I think it captured the spirit of the original series.

But, man, what I wouldn't give to have McKeever back over at Marvel doing what he does best: writing all-ages Marvel comics. I feel like he's being wasted a bit over at DC.

I hate exclusive contracts.

Jason Aaron's Ghost Rider is a Helluva Ride

I am so into Jason Aaron's run on Ghost Rider. I urge everyone to jump on board.

Jason Aaron, of course, being the very talented writer behind the amazing ongoing series Scalped, along with the Vertigo mini-series The Other Side. He also recently completed a brief-yet-awesome run on Wolverine.

Ghost Rider is a character that I have always liked, but have never really found the books to be particularly awesome. The nineties kind of left a bad Ghost Rider taste in my mouth, because I will always associate the character with comics that look like this:

Yeah, that aged well.

Aaron completely understands what is awesome about the character, and it should be pretty obvious: he's a flaming skeleton on a motorcycle. This character should be in a comic book which is fun.
So he's taken Ghost Rider and basically set him in a grindhouse movie. We learned at the end of Daniel Way's run that Johnny Blaze was not in fact cursed by Satan, as he had always believed. Instead, he's been a tool of a rogue angel. So now Johnny is looking to ride into Heaven and kick some angel ass. But along the way he is running into all sorts of crazy stuff, including a bunch of nurses with machine guns:

I can't think of a single reason why someone wouldn't like this comic. It's fun, it's crazy, it's violent, and the art (by Roland Boschi and then Tan Eng Huat) is great too! Plus, Aaron has taken over the letters column, which makes for good reading as well. I especially liked this excerpt:

I'm not even exaggerating: Ghost Rider is now one of my favourite comics. I just enjoy reading a comic where I am constantly giggling and shaking my head in disbelief.

And, hey, it just so happens that I interviewed Jason Aaron for The Dollar Bin when I was at HeroesCon in June. I would like to say that this was done live at his table in the middle of the convention hall, so it was a little noisy. And I had to make up the questions on the spot. So forgive me if I sound nuts. You can listen to the interview here.

And since I am promoting Jason Aaron-related things anyway, y'all should check out the messageboard he runs, along with fellow awesome creators Brian Azzarello, Brian Wood, Cliff Chiang, Jock, David Lapham and G. Willow Wilson. It's called Standard Attrition and you can check it out here. Y'know, if you like talking about stuff on the internet. With comic fans. I dunno if you're into that sort of thing.

Addendum to the Review of Prose

Oh, man. Remember the "I am a huge nerd." part of the last post? Not that I think that anybody would ever disbelieve me, but there's a bit of evidence to that effect that I should have shared with the world years ago. Check it out this slice of my desktop:

I think that there are some jock-dominated countries with a "public whipping" policy for stuff like this.