This Week's Haul: Vote Against DC Decisions

Man, I read so many comics this week. Here are some of them:

DC Universe Decisions #1 (OF FOUR??!!)

I'll just say this, because this could turn into a whole long thing if I get started: it's been done before and it's been done better.

All-Star Superman #12

Well...what can be said? This comic was perfect. The whole damn series was perfect and life has no meaning or purpose now that it's over.

Action Comics #869

Woah, except...holy wow! I enjoyed this just as much as All-Star Superman! Geoff Johns and Gary Frank are just so fantastic together, and this Brainiac storyline has been so awesome. And the really amazing thing about this story is that it takes place within Superman continuity AND it incorporates Supergirl in a way that doesn't suck at all! In fact, it rules!

Ghost Rider #27

In the comic shop yesterday I commented to someone who was buying the new Ghost Rider that I've been really enjoying Jason Aaron's writing on it. The customer disagreed, and felt that the story had gotten too silly. I really don't know how to respond to things like that. What level of realism are you looking for in a comic about a flaming skeleton riding a motorcycle?

Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam #2

This comic is just really, really great. This was a really good week for all-ages comics! Not only the ones I mention here, but also Tiny Titans and Marvel Adventures Avengers!

X-Men First Class #16

The last issue of this series, but not the end of X-Men First Class. In this issue we are promised an upcoming Giant Size special, and a new mini-series. I love X-Men First Class. I think it's a great idea for a comic, and I think it's really enjoyable every month. I'm sad to see it go as a monthly.

The Age of Sentry #1

At least Jeff Parker softens the blow of X-Men First Class ending by giving us an all-new awesome title in the same week! Parker shares the writing duties with Paul Tobin in a comic that gives us two delightful silver age-style stories that poke fun at some of the absurdities of the era without being a full-on parody. Nick Dragoda and Ramon Rosanos provide beautiful art. The colour throughout the book is just excellent. And check out that cover! It's an awesome comic. I can't wait for the next one.

Uncanny X-Men #502

Man I wish they would get someone else doing the art on this book. I really like this series but god damn...

The Spirit #21

Another perfectly good comic ruined by gratuitous T&A. Sometimes I wonder if these artists have ever actually seen women's clothing before.

The Amazing Spider-Man #572

This comic is actually making me want to read Thunderbolts. Almost.

 

In this comic our hero gets riddled with bullets from Bullseye. Then Bullseye gets riddled with bullets! Oh the bitter taste of your own medicine.

Greatest Hits #1

A new series from Vertigo started up this week. The premise is a British superhero foresome operating in the 60s, whose fame and career closely resembles that of British rock bands at the time. It's a fun idea, and it's a fun first issue.

DC Solicitations!

DC's got the December solicitations up over at Newsarama. Let's have a looksee.

Last year DC totally failed to deliver on the holiday-themed comic front. This year I will not have to suffer that crushing disappointment again. Behold! The DCU Holiday Special 2008!

I know there is nothing technically alarming about this sentence, but it certainly could be seen as fairly R-rated for many reasons: Dr. Light aids with the Festival of Lights and Nightwing delivers a special gift to Robin.

Oh, I know it's not THAT Dr. Light. (Is it?)

J. Bone also provides a toothache-inducing adorable cover to the December issue of Super Friends. Good lord. Batman is wearing earmuffs! And he's caroling! And Aquaman has a little hat on...and Green Lantern is being inclusive! Awwww.

Not all comics released in December are festive, but they are still awesome-looking. Check out this sweet cover for Supergirl. I am really looking forward to the new creative team on this title.

Speaking of Supergirl, issue #1 of the highly-anticipated (by me) Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the 8th Grade comes out in December. I think this is going to be a lot of fun.

Watchmen is being re-released in issue format, which is...weird. It's not a bad idea, though, cash-grab wise.

It looks like Green Lantern Corps is going to hold onto its title of Grossest Superhero Comic for another month.

Turning to books, we have a trade that compiles Batman's greatest deaths! It's a little something DC likes to call The Strange Deaths of Batman. We should all be so lucky as to have enough deaths to fill a book.

That's a great cover. I like that it promises that Catwoman will be in the issue when she is clearly on the cover.

And just in time for Christmas, it's the Starman Omnibus v.2! That will make an excellent gift for me!

Looks like December is going to be a pretty solid month. We'll see Marvel's full line-up tomorrow.

YOU THINK YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES?!

True fact about me: I love low-budget local ads for things.

One of my favourite low budget ads of late is for a local vocational school called Success College (Successitas Pro Idiotas).

Here's what I'm talking about:

And now the really exciting news: the "YOU THINK YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES?! guy? He was in the comic shop when I was working a couple of weeks ago. My co-worker, Dave recognized him, but was too starstruck to say anything. We LOVE this guy.

Doesn't this ad seem like it's directed by Michael Scott? The criminal becomes a police man at the end? What is going on?!

The most unlucky little girl in the world.

Let's just say you're a little girl. And say you are alone and in danger.

And say that the only super hero around to save you...is Ghost Rider.

Like, seriously, how terrified would you be if you saw this lunging at you?

Image taken from Ghost Rider #35 by Jim Starlin, reprinted in Ghost Rider Annual #2, available in fine comic shops everywhere.

This Week's Haul: A Light Week

Howdy y'all! 

That's how they talk in the south, and that reminds me: I did another podcast episode with the Dollar Bin boys this week. This time the subject was my very favourite lady: Catwoman!

Listen as I talk an unending streak by clicking this link: Catwoman!

I can never hear super clearly when I am doing these phone interview things, so I just keep talking over everyone. And my heavy breathing makes it sound like I'm an astronaut being interviewed from a space station.

And now on with this week's comics!!

Here's what you should read this week:

Wonder Woman #24

Why? Because Gail Simone really rules at cramming a whole lot of story into one issue, and making every part of that story thoroughly entertaining and hilarious. Wonder Woman brings Nemesis home to meet her mother, which is great, and the second half of the issue has WW visiting the set of a Hollywood Wonder Woman movie. This, of course, is also great because it allows Simone to make some fun commentary about the unending struggle to get Wonder Woman into her own movie, and give us an idea of how horribly wrong Hollywood could get it if it were made.

 

 

 

 

Amazing Spider-Man #571
 

 

Why? Because this comic has been coming out almost weekly since Brand New Day started, and it's been consistently great.

Norman Osborn is really enjoyable in this issue, and Eddie Brock is really crazy. And the art, again, is wicked.

 

Super Friends #7

Why? Because the Super Friends teach some kids how to skateboard. Even Aquaman. I really want Batman to teach me how to skateboard.

In this comic Aquaman actually reasons that he must be a good skateboarder because he is good at riding dolphins. Probably as he is saying this, Flash is stealing his wallet.

Booster Gold #12

Why? Because this is how a time-travelling hero should be used: as an opportunity to re-visit all our favourite eras of DC comics. This week it was 1970s Batman, with the classic Batmobile and with Barbara Gordon as Batgirl.

This comic is just fun. It's always fun, and I love it.

 

Secret Invasion: Runaways/Young Avengers #3

 

Why? This issue concludes a series that was better than the following comic series: Secret Invasion, and Runaways.

 

Seriously, this team (Christopher Yost and Takeshi Miyazawa) should be doing Runaways. And SOMEONE should do Young Avengers, because I would sure like to see a comic about them again.

 

 

 

Angel After The Fall: Final Night v.2

IDW released the second hardcover collecting the official continuation of Angel this week. First of all, these hardcovers are beautiful. Nice job, IDW. Secondly, writer Bryan Lynch's enthusiasm for what he's doing with this series comes through loud and clear in the bonus content. Plus, the intro, written by "Groosalugg," is absolutely hilarious. Seriously.

 

Also, unlike the first collection of this series, this book contains several short stories about each secondary character, each with a different artist. So having an array of artists is nice. And I know this title isn't nearly as possible as the Buffy comic, much like the television series, but I really do think it's a well-written continuation of the show. It's an entertaining comic, as is the Spike series that is being released alongside it, also written by Lynch.

I wanted to post an image of the cover of this book, but it is nowhere to be found. Not even on the IDW website. Which is weird.

 

Rating the Super Hunks #20: Namor the Sub-Mariner

Time for another super hunk!!! This time we dive beneath the waves to get a closer look at Marvel's aquatic hottie,

PRINCE NAMOR, AKA THE SAVAGE SUB-MARINER

Namor does not care about this woman.

Costume/Appearance:

Namor's costume is, in a word, minimal.

"If I could wear less, I would."

It's easy to point out the skimpy outfits that female comic characters wear, but in truth the most revealing outfit is actually donned by a dude who was created in 1939. Namor usually only wears a speedo when he fights. And because this isn't quite flamboyant enough, he has little white wings on his ankles.

BKAK!

Lately he's been wearing a more conservative black costume, which retains the best elements of his embarassing 1970s suit with the little yellow wings. Lord.

I'd be mad too.

And let's talk about those Greta Garbo eyebrows. They are awesome.

The trick is to draw a white line around the brow before you pluck.

The whole package is pretty fabulous, if not a little, y'know...homo mermanus.

8/10

Straight!

Personality:

I'm not going to pretend that Namor isn't a giant asshole. He really is. But heavy is the head that wears the crown, and maybe we'd all be cranky if we were the crown prince of an advanced underwater society. Or maybe he's just a douche.

He is using his wristband as a brass knuckle.

I wouldn't change a thing about Namor though. It's all about confidence, which our Sub-Mariner has in spades. When he looks at you from under those pointy eyebrows and that widow's peak and asks if you'd like to see the royal scepter, you say YES. Just ask Sue Storm. She knows what I'm talking about.

Mr Fantastic: Consider your wife banged.

Frankly, whenever Namor says anything you say "yes" because the way he talks is awesome.

Yes.

I would love to hear a debate between Namor and Thor.

"Is your refrigerator running, you disgusting land mammal?"

On the negative side...he has a bit of a temper.

It's true, though, that guy was lying.

Those soldiers were just minding their own business.

Yes, he's a dick. But he's got an exotic David Bowie quality that captures our hearts.

Namor found this girl.

7/10

This lady has no idea what she's getting herself into.

Day Job:

He is the monarch of Atlantis. It looks pretty good on the ol' resume.

10/10

Splish splash!

Sexiness of Super Powers:

You wouldn't think that flight would be a included in the underwater superhero package, but it is for Namor! Depending on what era of Namor we're talking about, he can also either just be really strong and invulnerable, or he can call of the abilities of any underwater creature (ie - electric eel).

He's not really trying.

His powers, for the most part, are only operating when he is wet. This is funny. I like any hero who needs to be wet and shirtless at all times.

He really likes water.

I would also like to mention that Namor's entry contains what is possibly the greatest sentence on Wikipedia:

Later, Namor lost his ankle-wings when he released a mutagenic scrambler within the animated garbage-monster Sluj.

Incidentally, an almost identical sentence can be found in the Wikipedia entry for Harry Truman.

8/10

Who is he talking to?

Cons:

Namor's past love interests include an evil chick, his own cousin, and Mr Fantastic's wife.

- 3

"Well, fish. It's just you and me, buddy."

FINAL SCORE: 30/40

Such a drama queen.

Oh, suck it up, Subby! That's not a bad score at all...considering your pointy...everything.