Thinking Hypothetically: The JSA, by Johnathan:

I went to see The Watchmen last night (for the nerd-record: I liked it and think it was a good adaptation but of course have a small voice inside of me crying about how my favourite scene was messed up. All in all, though: JOHN APPROVED) and it got me thinking: which members of the classic Justice Society of America would have gotten into the Legion of Superheroes?

Uh, I said that it got me thinking, not that it got me thinking in a particularly linear fashion. Still, good idea for a not-really-a-review, hey?

So, to set the stage, it's Legion Tryout day, some time after the "one boy and one girl per year" thing was phased out, and this motley crew shows up on the rocket doorstep:

For the purposes of this little thought-experiment we will be considering members of the JSA during their original run, but ignoring Batman and Superman because they were hardly ever in the comic and have had plenty of legion face-time anyway. Just for fun, if someone seems doomed for rejection of a shoo-in for acceptance we might try to think up a situation wherein the obvious might not occur. In roughly alphabetical order:

The Atom: Poor old Al Pratt got to be a super-hero by working out and practicing and never saying die. Despite his short stature he was one of the most effective members of the JSA in a fight. The Legion would've turfed him out on his ear in no time flat. Best Case Scenario: The Atom saves the world while the Legion is busy fighting Doctor Mayavale again and ends up palling around with Pete Ross in the Legion Reserve.

Black Canary: I haven't actually read any of the Black Canary's Golden Age adventures but I'm pretty sure that she was another in the "regular person with a solid right hook" school of crimefighting and that the Canary Cry came later. Still, let's say that she has it for the sake of this not turning into a series of identical paragraphs. Man, sh'd be in there like no one's business. As risque as the bustier-and-fishnets look might have been at some point in the past, it's practically a hoop skirt and bustle by the standards of the 70s Legion. The unbridled lust of Sun Boy alone would propel a flight ring onto her finger.

Dr Fate: Now, I've read maybe the first twenty issues of All-Star Comics, where the JSA made their home in the 40s and, as far as I can tell, the Dr Fate that appeared in those comics was less the magic-wielding champion of Order that we all know and love and more... something else? He seems to talk about being composed of "pure energy" a lot. He still uses magic, though, so whether he could get in is basically a matter of whether the White Witch is already a member, I suppose. Worst Case Scenario: the Legion find out that Kent Nelson is just a regular dude without the Helmet of Fate and have Triplicate Girl toss him out on his ear for gaining his powers from a device. Also, technically, Nelson and Dr Fate are two different guys, and isn't Fate thousands of years old? Not that most of the JSA aren't breaking the "nobody over the age of eighteen" rule, but still.

Dr Mid-Nite: Okay, I guess the fact that Mid-Nite really is a medical doctor is a cue-off to the fact that he's likely at least in his late twenties. Ignoring that, though, I think that he's got a pretty decent shot. A few judiciously-placed blackout bombs in the Legion tryout chamber, then a demonstration of the ol' patented Charles McNider "seeing in the dark" trick and he would be on easy street. Imagine Dr Mid-Nite, Shadow Lass and Night Girl teaming up to form... the Legion Shadow Squad! Who would dare call that a bad idea?

The Flash: I can't see why the Flash wouldn't get in, given his super-cool super-speed. Time for a Worst Case Scenario: "We're sorry, Flash. While your amazing speed powers might prove useful in a combat situation, we feel that there is a very real chance that if you stopped suddenly your hat might fly off like a discus and decapitate somebody, probably Bouncing Boy. REJECTED!"

Green Lantern: On the face of it, this one's easy, since having to wear and recharge a ring to keep yourself all powered up kind of breaks that one rule about having to have your own powers. Golden Age Green Lantern wasn't so much about firing green boxing gloves or can-can dancers or whatever out of the ring, though, so he might have had a chance. He could fly and was immune to metal (but famously not to wood, which could trip him up if anyone was in a pissy mood). I'd say he has a fifty-fifty chance based on how observant everyone was that day and whether he got to test-fight Ferro Lad or Chlorophyll Kid as his initiation feat.

Hawkman: Not in a million years. Everyone in the Legion can fly and their flying devices are a lot smaller than his and they already have Dawnstar. Best Case Scenario: He manages to convince them that he's a Thanagarian ambassador and gets a tour of the building.

Hourman: One of my favourite super-heroes ever (seriously, I was so sad about him seemingly dying in New Frontier that it took Darwyn Cooke himself to console me and say it wasn't so), so it pains me to admit that he wouldn't have much of a chance of getting into the Legion. Popping a yellow-and-red-striped pill every hour is a bit of a giveaway that you weren't born with super-strength (though making your super-pill match your cape is a pretty classy move, by my estimation). Still, Rex Tyler would make a pretty snazzy addition to the Legion of Substitute Heroes, especially as he would automatically be its most competent (and stylish) member.

Johnny Thunder: If anyone on this list would royally screw up the tryout process it would be Johnny. He'd say "Say, you fellows are tops in my book." and the Thunderbolt would misinterpret that as an order to make everyone spin around until Brainiac 5 vomits Coluan nutrient paste and that would be the end of that. However, Johnny Thunder would have made a fantastic supporting character in the Silver Age Legion adventures. Unlike the competent-but-not-confident Substitute legion, he could follow the Legionnaires around in various attempts to impress them and then fail spectacularly. Big laffs!

Ag! It's been a long day! I'm exercising my right to finish this tomorrow!

My Spoiler-Free Mini-Review of Watchmen

Do we need a review of Watchmen to be spoiler-free, actually?

I just got back from an advance screening, and I just wanted to share some quick thoughts.

I thought the movie was a really good, loyal adaptation of the book. For those of us who have read the book, and love the book, it was fun to see it come to life. The acting was great, I dare say that Nite Owl and Rorschach were perfect. The last time I read the book, I had a thought that there is no way that they could make Walter Kovacs (without the mask) as he looks in the book work on screen. I was wrong. He looked perfect.

The fact that it is based on one specific comic book that most fans have read numerous times makes it a weird movie-going experience. As I said, the movie was very loyal. There are no surprises if you've read it, right down to almost every line of dialogue. And, because it's based on a comic, almost every shot is also familiar. So it felt as if I had watched the movie before.

My only real problem with the movie is that it was too gory and that the major sex scene was just too...porny? It was over the top for sure. As for the gore, I think a lot of the most violent scenes would have been better without it. Off screen would have been classier and less distracting (and more like the book).

Oh...and the soundtrack is BATSHIT INSANE. But it kind of charmed me.

But overall the movie looked great, had great acting and had some neat ideas about how to tell this crazy story on screen. I don't know how people who haven't read the book will feel about it. I would imagine that to them it would seem sort of weird and rushed and lacking in a lot of areas. And it would certainly be depressing. But for those of us who have read it, it's just a nice treat to see the story come to life. That's all I expect out of these things. I think the challenge of making a Watchmen movie was met and adequately conquered. And some of the scenes were downright awesome to see on screen!

I mean, I said before I saw the movie that the problem with putting Watchmen on the big screen is that there is really nothing fun about the story. It's pretty joyless. But it is still entertaining, and I think the director made it as fun as it could possibly be without ruining it.

The movie is about three hours long, so good luck to everyone who is going to the midnight screening tomorrow night!

The comic-iest Oscars ever!

I'm using the fact that Hugh "Wolverine" Jackman hosted the Oscars as an excuse to write about them in this comic book blog.

Mr Jackman was delightful, I thought, and I especially loved his opening number with the big "I'm Wolverine!" finisher. He was very funny and charming, but I still don't think he's the sexiest anything, let alone man alive. I'm looking forward to a big musical number in Wolverine.

I loved the set, and having the orchestra out of the pit. And I really liked that Danny Boyle made a point of mentioning how great the set was, and thanking the people responsible. Classy! I don't know how "toned down" the whole works looked, especially with that giant crystal curtain, but who wants to see a low-budget Oscars?

Bill Maher really came off as a douche, eh? Awkward, awkward jokes and very predictable "MY documentary wasn't nominated!" remarks. And then he almost opened the envelope before reading the nominees because he was too busy thinking about how much smarter he is than everyone else. From now on, only delightful, charming people at the Oscars please.

Speaking of looking like a douche: Peter Gabriel. I mean, whatever, I know that cutting the songs off at one minute or whatever seems disrespectful, but when I was watching the performance of the medley of nominated songs, the slots for each one seemed long enough. And poor John Legend (who maybe had laryngitis or maybe was trying to sound more like Peter Gabriel?) had to step in at the last minute and sing those ridiculous lyrics while Gabriel sat a few rows away. What if that song had won? Awk-ward.

Also a douche: Zac Efron for leaving presenting partner Alicia Keyes in his dust when he strode out onto the stage.

And...that kid from Twilight for rocking that ridiculous vampire stare the whole time. Lift your head, son. Stand up straight.

I think the best dress was Marisa Tomei's.

And I think the worst dress was, sadly, the one that Queen Latifah was wearing during her song. Was the dress a tribute to something? It kinda looked like a crazy prom dress that I would have designed when I was seven, and only had one crayon left. Too bad because her red carpet dress was lovely.

I liked that little Pineapple Express bit with Janusz Kaminski, especially when they were watching Milk.

When the first acting award was given out using that five presenters format, I was worried that the show was going to be ten hours long. Cut to Robert Downey Jr in the audience, and I could tell he was thinking the same thing. But y'know what? I really liked it. I thought it was really nice for those past winners to be sharing such kind, and seemingly unscripted at times, words with the nominees. Plus it was exciting to see five amazing actors on the stage at a time (although...best lead actress was given out without much reaction from the audience, but when they brought out the five male actors to give out that award, there was a standing ovation. Women: booooooooo! Men: yaaaaaaaaaay!). I think that they should have used the same format for best director. And, as Matt and I were joking, for best movie. They could just have five things, like "Please welcome The Godfather, Citizen Kane, Ben-Hur, Lawrence of Arabia and the Titanic!"

I have always found it amusing that there is such a huge difference in speeches from when actors win, or when anyone else wins. Actors are always overwhelmed and crying and hyperventilating talking about fainting, but when a sound editor or someone wins they are just like "Thanks. This means a lot." They worked just as hard or harder on the exact same movie, and have also just won the highest honour that they can receive in their industry, but they manage to hold it together.

I was really surprised that Mickey Rourke didn't win, but happy that Sean Penn won. I really liked Milk a lot, and was hoping that it might win best picture. Oh well. Slumdog Millionaire was pretty good too.

And, of course, Heath Ledger's win was both sad and exciting. Exciting because it's the highest honour a comic-based movie has ever won at the Oscars. I still think Christopher Nolan deserved a nomination, but oh well. He'll just have to make the next Batman movie even better.

And finally, yay for the guy from Man on Wire for doing a coin trick at the podium, and then balancing the Oscar on his chin. We need more of that at the Oscars for sure.

This Week's Haul: These Birds Have Flown

Just a quick one this week. Focusing on getting new site up. Talking like Rorschach.

Hey, here's something neat! My old post on Batman: Year Two has been translated into Spanish for a Peruvian comics blog! Check it out. Thanks to blog author Giancarlo Roman for doing that! I have no idea what it says! I am especially happy about it because that has always been one of my favourite posts.

Robin #183/ Birds of Prey #127

This was the last issue of Robin, one of several DC titles to come to an end this month. It's bittersweet to be losing all these titles because, while I enjoy them and have been reading them for a long time, it's been awhile since an issue has done anything for me. Which is probably why they are being canceled. Of Nightwing, Robin and Birds of Prey, Robin was the strongest title, I think, at least at the time of cancellation. Tim Drake is a great character, and can almost carry his own title. Almost. I actually would have liked to see a Robins title (um, maybe not called that) featuring Dick, Tim and Jason, especially now that Batman is out of the picture for awhile. Why battle for the cowl when you could have three perfectly capable guys (well, two) holding down the fort?

Anyway, as I was saying, this was the last issue of Robin. And, unlike the final issues of Nightwing and Birds of Prey, this was actually a pretty good ending. As far as I'm concerned, Will Pfeifer set the bar pretty high for ending a Gotham-based comic with Catwoman #82. That was a great comic. Robin wasn't that good, but it tied up some things, opened up new possibilities, and kept the soul-searching and personal reflection on a career in crimefighting to a reasonable level. There was a running interior monologue throughout the issue, but it wasn't way over the top like, say, last week's issue of Nightwing.

Birds of Prey, on the other hand, went out with a whimper. Man, I like Tony Bedard, but this really felt like the comic had been punched in the gut and was trying desperately to crawl out of the room unnoticed. A completely unmemorable ending to a fairly significant, and at one time beloved, comic series.

Next week: the final issue of Blue Beetle (sob!). Of all the titles getting canned this month, I am the most disappointed about this one. The rest come as a bit of a relief because I can really reduce my pull list. I actually expect to make a lot of cuts over the next few months, but hopefully I'll be able to replace some of them with exciting new series. Like Jeff Parker's highly entertaining Mysterius, which was also out this week (#2), and Jersey Gods, the first issue of which hit stores a couple of weeks ago. It will definitely satisfy your New Gods cravings.

Holy crap guys! The Watchmen movie is, like, soon!

Comic Art Auction Announcement

Howdy!

A group of comics professionals, including Darwyn, Cameron Stewart, and Adam Hughes, are trying to help out a friend with some hefty medical bills and are selling some artwork and other special items on ebay. Anything raised above what's needed will be donated to the HERO Initiative charity.

You can check out the goods here, but here's a taste:

This Week's Haul: I Bumped my Brain!

Well, these reviews were pretty much ready to post on Friday morning, but then I got in a car accident on the way to work. Nothing too bad, but I got a slight concussion according to the doctor. Anyway, I forgot to post these yesterday, so here they are today.

Batman #686

Neil Gaiman + Andy Kubert = $$$$

I think this was really awesome. I like to make fun of Gaiman fans because they are annoying, but this really was great. The dude can write a comic (as long as it doesn't set Marvel characters in 1602). Plus, Kubert's art looked great.

Aaaand...a Catwoman-centric story? That will always win me over. Especially one where she ties Batman up for any reason.

When I was reading Alfred's story in this issue I was wondering how many casual Batman fans who are picking up this comic will be confused and take Alfred's word as bond re: The Joker. But I think the comic was pretty clear that nothing happening in it should be taken as canon.

Calling the story "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader" is a bit risky, as it compares it to one of the greatest comics ever written, but y'know...confidence in your product, I guess. It was a really entertaining read and I am looking forward to the next issue. Worth the extra dollar!

Plus I liked that line "I don't think Death is a person, Batman." Cute, Gaiman. Cute.

 

 

Amazing Spider-Man #586

For some reason I always save Spider-Man for the end of my comic reading each week. This week I put it near the beginning. It was the only Marvel title I picked up this week, so I kinda felt sorry for it.

I know that I have mentioned this before, particularly in my Best of 2008 post, but I am just so frigging impressed by how great Spider-Man has been since the relaunch at the beginning of last year. And the fact that it is coming out three times a month makes it that much more impressive. I think that Marvel has actually found the perfect formula for creating comic books: have a rotating team who are all in on the same story-line, but are all telling their own short stories within the larger arc. Brilliant! The way they have it set up, it avoids several problems that plague almost every title on the stands today:

1. There are no "fill-in" issues because there is no one single creative team.

2. The comics come out on time.

3. Because it's a continually rotating team, the larger story is very fluid, and doesn't change drastically when a new creative team comes on board. For most comics, when a new team takes over a book they pretty much start over with the character and story, taking the elements that they liked from the last team's efforts, and dropping the rest. Many things never get resolved, or are just forgotten.

This issue, which follows-up last week's big reveal of who the mysterious new villain, Menace, really is, is a perfect example of what Spider-Man is doing right. Menace has been showing up in Spider-Man comics since the relaunch. There were many issues that the character wasn't there, but Menace was never forgotten about. Typically, the identity of a villain like Menace would be revealed within a 6-issue story arc in most comic series. The Spider-Man format allows for this long-lasting story to exist while lots of other stories are happening. And the Menace storyline is only one of many larger storylines existing in the Spider-Man world. It's great stuff, and it really creates a more complex and vibrant universe for Spider-Man. There's a lot going on, but the writers have a great handle on it all. I never expected the title to be this well-managed when they first announced that it would be coming out so frequently. Well done, Marvel!

 

 

Booster Gold #17

How are the sales on this title? Good, I hope because I really love it and don't want it to go away. When Geoff Johns left the title I didn't think I would still be into it, but I still look forward to it ever month.

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

Nightwing #153

This was the final issue of Nightwing, and it was terrible.

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

 

 

Batman Confidential #26 This, on the other hand, was fantastic. Really, really great. It's the antidote to all this crazy, arthouse Batman that we have been getting lately. It's a straightforward story where a bizarre theme-based villain is terrorizing Gotham and Batman teams up with Jim Gordon to figure it out. Awesome right? Well add to that some AMAZING art by, wait for it, Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and inked by Kevin Nowlan! Sometimes you just need a shot of Batman, straight up with no chaser. This is that comic.

 

 

 

 

 

Mini-Marvels: Secret Invasion

New Mini Marvels digest!!! Everyone should buy three of these.