"There are dozens of us! DOZENS!"

 I’ve been recently started re-watching the late, great Arrested Development on DVD, which is always fun to do when a show carries that many layers of humour. It’s tough to pick a favourite character—everything raspy illusionist Gob Bluth does or says is hilarious to me—but I’ve gotta go with Tobias Funke, Lindsay Bluth’s probably-gay, psychatrist-turned-actor husband (played by Mr. Show’s David Cross).

 

If you are familiar at all with the show, then you probably know that Tobias suffers from an extremely rare psychological affliction; he’s a Never-nude, which means that he can’t stand to ever be completely naked. Hence his ever-present cut-off jean shorts, which he even wears while sobbing in the shower after blowing yet another audition.

 

The introduction of this character detail, however, reminded me of a conversation with a customer of mine a few years back, when said customer pointed out a comics character who also apparently suffered from the same bizarre neurosis:

 

Poor guy. I just thought he liked cut-offs.

 A footnote: while preparing to do this post, I did a Google search for the words “Kamandi” and “never nude” to see if anyone else in the blogosphere had tackled this subject already. I found a link to Chris Samnee’s blog, where he referred to Kamandi as a Never-nude in the comments thread pertaining to an amazing Kamandi/OMAC illustration he had done (do yourself a favour and check it out here). By the way, Samnee is a super-talented artist to watch out for. His upcoming Thor and the Mighty Avengers ongoing series, written by LBW favourite Roger Langridge, promises to be a lot more entertaining than most of the current Avengers franchise.

A Question of Imagination

Back in 1965, Archie Comics began publishing a comic book adaptation of The Shadow, and I have to say that it must have taken a heck of a lot of imagination to transform this:

To this:

... or at least to do so and imagine that it was a winning proposition. That's why I was kind of surprised to see some... familiar elements while reading the series. Did imagination desert them as soon as they'd hammered the Shadow into Batman Lite? How else to explain this:

 

Only a passing resemblance, you say? Surely two fellows would dress up in goggles and laced-up shirts, you assert? Well, how about this:

Eh? Eh? Surely someone at Archie must have known what they were doing when they created this guy.

EDIT: Phew, I got way over my head on the image formatting here. Just when I think that I am Wordpress' master, it shows me who's boss. Shield your eyes!

John Buys Comics and Writes About Them

American Vampire No. 2

I picked up the first issue of this after Dave’s review, and I’m surprised that I needed that much incentive. I mean, flapper vampires and cowboy vampires in the same book? There is only so much strength in my feeble human form, my friends.

Of course, it takes more than a simple genre mashup to keep my interest, but Snyder and Albuquerque have that covered, the latter with some appropriately terrific art and the former by spinning out some very cool ideas about vampirism.

Every week, it seems, I reveal yet another facet of the already priceless gem that is my nerdliness (he wrote on his comics blog). This week: I know an awful lot about vampires! And as anyone who knows an awful lot about vampires knows, every damn country and people in the world seem to have their own distinct iteration of the bloodsucking fiend, ranging from Dracula-style goth dudes to flying heads to crazy cow skin-looking things that live in Peruvian lakes. Any story that does a halfway decent job of explaining why the above is the case gets bonus points, even if they aren’t as well told as [American Vampire] actually is.

Snyder’s explanation - that a vampire made from someone in a new place, living in a new way sometimes just turns out differently than the vampire that made them - isn’t precisely unique, but I don’t know that I’ve ever seen the concept expressed so simply before, and that counts for a lot. There’s no grand mystical hogwash surrounding it, just “different land, different vampires” and that’s very refreshing.

Meanwhile, Stephen King’s backup story is very fun in a couple of different ways, but I find myself focusing on the fact that having the story of Skinner Sweet set in front of us from the beginning does a very interesting thing. We now know the depths of Sweet’s evil, so though he can play out the trope of the mysterious, roguish benefactor whose dark past is gradually revealed in his dealings with Pearl, we are already in the know. Very very satisfying reading, with people biting each other to boot.

The Brave and the Bold No. 33 - That’s two issues in a row of this that I’ve really enjoyed, after a bit of a spotty patch. Cliff Chiang drew some fantastic stuff here, and his facial expressions were in the best possible way reminiscent of Amanda Conner's. HOWEVER: J. Michael Straczynski basically finished his lovely little story with THE END with five underlines - I’d recommend stopping at the Flash ad for a slightly more satisfying reading experience, or the JLA ad if you didn’t catch the point of the story by the Flash ad.

R.E.B.E.L.S. No. 15 - I think I’ll wait a bit to weigh in on the new status quo in this book. I’m really only writing this because i want to point out that Despero’s people all have really well-groomed facial hair and it’s a look that I like in a moderately sinister alien race.

Green Lantern No. 53 - See, this is why I was so pissy about Blackest Night. I have no idea how Brightest Day is going to turn out, but a comic like this, where Johns can play and be all portentous and not have to place each distinct plot point in a new issue, this actually reads well. It might not be the Police Procedural in Space that I want, but I’ll take Rainbow Space Opera, I reckon. 

The Tick New Series No. 3 - There is nothing bad about this series. Nothing. Read it. Benito Cereno and Les McClaine have done a fantastic job with this and I will praise them much more thoroughly when No. 4 comes out and I presumably will not be so sleepy.

Good night everyone!

Friendly, Neighbourhood...Thing

I know ads for totally absurd merchandise are common place in any Marvel comic, but seriously:

 

What is this?

No, really? What is it?

These are my best guesses.

Salad Tongs.

Melon baller.

Ultra safe scissors?

Or some sort of medical tool? Foresceps? Or...uh...a speculum?

 

Ugh, chilling stuff.

 

Please help me out. The more I think about it, the creepier the possibilities.

Various Stuff n' Such

 

So here I was, all set to write a cranky post about how much I disliked a certain high-profile comic book movie that opened this weekend. But honestly, folks, life’s too short, and I’d rather spend the time gabbing about stuff I enjoy. So with that in mind, here are a few random tidbits of comic booky goodness from last week’s offerings:

 

Other Lives, by Peter Bagge: The Hate-meister returns to cranky form with this original Vertigo graphic novel about four interconnected losers—a writer who despises his racial identity and is haunted by a past act of plagiarism, his fiancée, whose vicarious internet life begins to blur into her real relationships, an online gambling addict desperate to cover up his crumbling domestic life, and a would-be government agent/national hero who lives in his mother’s garage. Fans of Bagge ‘s most famous creation, Buddy Bradley, can draw a straight line to Vlad (Vader) Ryderbeck, the self-loathing, slow-burning, expletive-spewing, booze-swigging antihero at the heart of Other Lives, who discovers that the self-created false identities people hide behind—both online and in real life--are not just a product of the internet era, but in his case at least, a generational affair. Bagge’s rubbery, cross-hatched caricatures may not be for everybody, but there’s truly nothing else in comics like them, and they are perfectly suited to the grotesque lives, both real and imagined, that they depict. The surprisingly violent conclusion is strangely unsatisfying, but the repeated jabs at the characters’ cartoonishly sad-sack lifestyles and the equally ridiculous internet fantasies they retreat into are what stays with you after you’ve finished reading.

 

The Flash #1, by Geoff Johns and Francis Manapul: DC has taken a lot of flack for bringing back Silver Age mainstay Barry Allen—fair enough, considering that most of their current readership grew up reading the adventures of his protégé, Wally West—but here’s the thing; having Allen as the Flash in a new number one issue makes sense because he’s the easiest version of the character to explain to new readers. Hit by lightning, showered by chemicals, Fastest Man Alive. There you go. Sure, he’s got tons of baggage if you start factoring in his death and rebirth, his stint as a married father in the distant future, and all that other crap, but this first issue wisely sidesteps all that, focusing instead on what I hope will set this series apart from the previous run (see what I did there?): the fact that Barry Allen is a police scientist, so he is actually going to be solving mysteries instead of just running around fighting bad guys. Manapul’s art is just as lovely here as it was in his short-lived stint on Adventure Comics, and I hope he’s in it for the long haul. This is a fun, accessible, great-looking debut, with one of those cool two-page teaser ads at the end (like the ones Johns did for Legion of Three Worlds and Sinestro Corps) for an upcoming event called Flashpoint. I have no idea what it could be about, but it looks cool. Let’s hope DC doesn’t water it down with a kajillion crossovers, but who am I kidding? Of course they will.

 

Kill Shakespeare #1, by Conor McCreery, Anthony Del Col, and Andy Belanger: I know Johnathan already covered this IDW book and its fascinating shared universe, where the Bard’s most famous creations join forces to destroy him, a few days ago, but I wanted to throw in my two cents as well. This is a very cool, original concept, executed with terrific skill and style. There are a lot of comparisons to be made to League of Extraordinary Gentlemen being thrown around in regards to this series, and that’s a pretty big compliment in my book. The premise may be a bit intimidating to anyone not well versed in Shakespeare, but it’s a lot more accessible than you might think at first. For instance, I haven’t read Richard III, but I recognized the hunchbacked, shriveled-armed monarch as soon as he appeared. You could just look at Kill Shakespeare as a simple adventure story framed by a larger literary backdrop if you like, one with witches and pirates and ghosts, and you’d enjoy it just as much. Belanger’s art is detailed and stylish as well, just as impressive in moments of quiet dread (like Hamlet’s father’s ghost appearing from the mists) as it is in action scenes (such as the first issue’s big set piece, a pirate attack on the boat carrying Hamlet to England). And the creators are Canadian! Really, you have no excuse to miss this. 

Move over, "Jimmy Olsen's Blues"

I noticed long, long ago that the lyrics that musicians in super-hero comics sing are rarely... less than awful. Now, I could simply be biased due to having read too many issues of Teen Titans featuring Bob Haney-style mod-rock ("Yeah yeah yeah! Rock rock rock!"), but I'm still almost physically shocked when I encounter a funny-book singer actually singing something that humans might pay to listen to. Imagine my shock, then, when I read Action Comics No. 6 and found what might just be my favourite song about Superman, ever. And before you ask: yes, this includes "Sunshine Superman", "Superman's Song" and even that one where 3 Doors Down asks about whether I will still call him Superman if he goes crazy.

As a bonus, here's a Golden Age Clark Kent shutdown. That guy just can't get a break!

 

 

 

 

 If this has not yet been recorded by a brassy chanteuse then the world is not as magical as I'd hoped.

Second bonus: adorable music fan Lois Lane.