John Grows Older, Writes Post

Well, as I mentioned in my review post this week, I am just a little bit older as of this weekend. Specifically, I am have just turned thirty, thus upgrading my status from Advanced Amateur Comic Geek to Determined Professional, Uncaring of Society's Opinion. In celebration, I have looked back upon the comics that were printed with "July 1979" on the front (well aware, my pedantic friends, that most of them came out in April, while I was still peacefully gestating) in order that I might see how the world of sequential art celebrated my birth.

I see a lot of evidence of celebration. For instance:

Daredevil and Captain America went to an air show!

Dr Sivana cocked a snook at Captain Marvel, one of my favourite mad scientists deploying one of my favourite insulting gestures!

Clark Kent got so excited that he broke out in a raging case of Disco Fever:

And  Black Lightning was impressed enough to want to get in on the act, no matter who his partner had to be:

Spider-Man took his interest in ripping phone books in two to its logical extension:

While Supergirl treated herself to those five face-lifts that she'd been thinking about:

And this guy got so excited that he shot Hitler!

Some people got a bit excited and sexy over the whole thing, like this friend of Supergirl:

Or Batgirl, getting oddly flirtatious with a bad dude:

Cerberus the Aardvark got a bit of an eyeful:

Hawkman and Hawkgirl showed a pigeon how things were done on Thanagar:

Warlord, meanwhile, just went hog-wild:

Some people got a little inappropriate, like Canada's own Captain Canuck:

Hal Jordan seduced the presumed-dead Guy Gardner's lady friend:

And Boston "Deadman" Brand just plain stepped over the line.

Don't worry, though. Godzilla soon made his stance on sexual harassment clear:

There was, of course, a pretty decent party:

Batman was pretty involved in the whole process, almost from the start:

He had some pretty good ideas, including a jumping castle in the shape of a giant,

Clancy, the famous Hopping Cop,

And a series of acrobats including the Human Target and his pal Snipey,

The Flying Graysons,

And then a little while later, the Flying Grayson.

Other acts included Michael Moore's comic book debut,

Superman watching his parents get married (not as fun as he claimed that it would be),

And a tumbling act!

The highlight of the evening, though, was definitely Wonder Woman, who put together an act involving rope tricks and elephant riding,

Followed by that freakiest of tricks, the beard of bees!

There were presents, too! The JLA, for instance, featured a trip to Nova Scotia, the place where I was busy being born!

Jonah Hex offered some sage advice for my formative years:

 Arcade and Professor Ojo didn't quite have the right idea but by gum the thought was there:

 

 And Mr Mind gave me a hint to the end of 52, twenty-eight years early!

Yes, it was a glorious time in comics, thirty years ago. No wonder I'm the super-Nerd that writes before you today. Just in case you want to join in the celebrations, by the way, I'll leave you with a couple of suggested gift ideas:

Vans:

Star Wars vans:

And for the nerd who has everything:

My birthday present to myself, of course, was to do a huge post with hardly any text. Thanks, Johnathan!

Images for this post were culled from Action Comics No. 497, Adventure Comics No. 464,I The Brave and the Bold No.152, Captain America No. 235, Captain Canuck No. 4, Creepy No. 109, Detective Comics No. 484, Eerie No. 102, Flash No. 275, Godzilla No. 24, Green Lantern No. 118, Jonah Hex No. 26, Justice League of America No. 168, Superman No. 337, Uncanny X-Men No. 123, Warlord No. 23, Weird War Tales No. 77, Wonder Woman No. 257, World of Krypton No. 1 and World's Finest No. 257. Also, Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes came out that week, but I couldn't figure out anything good to steal from it, bah.

Okay friends, I go now. Happy my birthday!

This Week's Haul: Canada Day Delay

Batman and Robin #2

Wow. Y'know, normally if someone said "hey, there's going to be a new series where Dick Grayson is Batman and Bruce Wayne's newly introduced ten-year-old son is going to be Robin" most people would say "Great. Call me when Bruce Wayne is back." But then if you add this: "Oh, by the way, it's written by Grant Morrison and drawn by Frank Quitely" that pretty much changes the game completely.

So in a world where I am not bothering to read any of the current Batman titles (actually...I did read Detective last week...and it was awesome), the Morrison/Quitely juggernaut is creating yet another beautiful masterpiece that forces me to pay attention to this World Without Batman nonsense.

So far, this book is meeting every expectation. This issue had a lot of Dick Grayson doubting his ability to be Batman. Alfred gave him a fantastic pep talk that I just loved. And Damian is being a perfect little brat.

Quitely is only drawing one more issue, at least that we know of, but I am confident that the comic will continue to be great. I hope. Because it's awesome.

Toy Story #2

I meant to mention this when the first issue came out, but this is just a delightful comic. It's perfectly written for kids and captures the spirit of the movies and its characters really well. I think there are a ton of great short stories that can be inspired by the Toy Story universe, and a comic book is a perfect place for them.

Captain America Reborn #1

Look sharp, Marvel Universe, because Daddy is coming home!

This was a good comic the same way that Brubaker's entire run on Captain America has been good. Well, great, actually. I was mildly bothered by how much Sharon looked like a teenager, and the fact that she was wearing a halter-jacket (?!) but other than that it was great. And it looks like Captain America's return from death is being explained away using deliciously ludicrous comic book pseudo-science. Hooray!

What I am really looking forward to is The Marvels Project. I love me some WWII-based comics. And some Namor!

Uncanny X-Men

I haven't been reading Dark Avengers, and I haven't been really paying attention to what's going to be crossing over into what over at Marvel. So I was really confused when I was reading this issue. I thought I had missed one somehow. I am kind of sad that some Dodson-drawn issues are being wasted on a storyline that I really don't care about. I did really like Namor's Frank-N-Furter-style entrance, though.

Jonah Hex #45

The second issue of a six-part Jonah Hex story, and I think it's working really well. The nice thing about the longer storyline is that we get to see all of the DC western characters teaming up: Jonah Hex, El Diablo, Bat Lash and Tallulah Black. It's pretty awesome.

Marvel Divas #1

You could describe this as Sex in the City with superheroes, but that would make it sounds really bad. And it isn't! At all! I honestly was not expecting much out of this, but I really, really enjoyed it. The writing was fun, the story was interesting, and the art was great and really suited the story. I look forward to the next issue.

Exiles #4

There was a different art team on this issue, and that kinda made a big difference for me. I was not into the previous art because it had a lot of clothing that looked like this:

But I do really enjoy this fun-spirited series about a rag-tag gang of dimension-hoppers. So I hope we can keep the art a little less distracting.

The Muppet Show #4

Each issue of this series impresses me even more than the last one. I really am just blown away by haw great this comic is. It's funny, it perfectly captures the spirit of The Muppet Show, it has long poems and songs worked into it, the art is fantastic, it's touching, and each issue has a compelling main story. It's crazy how good this comic is.

Tales Designed to Thrizzle HC

I am writing a review of this book for my local weekly paper, and I will post a link to that when it's up. Lemme just say, though, that if you have not read any or all of Tales Designed to Thrizzle you are cheating yourself. This is comedic genius. There is just no other way to describe it. And not only is Michael Kupperman a comedic genius, he is an incredible artist. It's a perfect storm. This book is $24.95, collects the first four issues in FULL COLOUR(!), and looks fantastic on a shelf. You should also follow MKupperman on Twitter. Dude is hillarious.

Old Man John Buys Comics

Man, I seem to have lost all of my ability to write, so brevity may be the order of the day. Also lateness, because of that durned Canada Day that we have up here.

Also, I had a birthday party last night. Rachelle gave me the Eric Powell "Smokers of the Marvel Universe" poster (edit: sorry, that should be "the Eric Powell sketchbook and the Chris Schweizer poster"), my old friend Boudreau gave me a ceramic coffee cup that looks like a paper coffee cup and girlfriend Erica got me the entire Annotated Sherlock Holmes! Because she is the best girlfriend ever!

Batman and Robin No. 2

Whew. Good, good. There was no horrific second-issue drop in quality, just the Morrison/Quitely comic fun that most of us love. All of the players are on-stage and acting true-to-character: Dick Grayson is agonizing about maybe not being able to step up as the Bat, Damian is being insufferable and violent, Alfred is making with the heart-to-heart talks and the villains are being extra Morrison-creepy. The GCPD is proving themselves a bit less brain-dead than the rest of Gotham by noticing that Batman and Robin have both lost some size (and more than a few years). My only real beef is that it's occasionally tough to figure out what's happening in some of the more action-packed panels, though the fact that the big fight is between Robin and a set of cojoined triplets probably contributes to this. Eh, no matter - even if I have to squint at a panel now and again this is such a satisfying comic.

Run! No. 3 - This chapter is entitled "Step Three: Betray Your Only Allies" and the Human Flame does not disappoint. Last issue he fell in with a group of super-lamers headed up by General Immortus and including old favourites like Condiment King, Sportsmaster and Mr. Polka Dot and newbies such as Phoney Baloney and Miss Army Knife. He gets taken in, fitted with integral flame throwers and welcomed into the fold. This issue, he does his very best to screw things up. Lots and lots of good villain dialogue, from Condiment King's running stream of battle-puns to Sportsmaster's bravado to Phoney Baloney's generically broken English. I think that at this point the question might be not *whether* the Human Flame dies at the end but *how*.

Strange Eggs Jumps the Shark

I have no idea if this is an ongoing thing or not - I've certainly never heard of it before but there seems to be some sort of basic scenario - a deliveryman named Roger Rodgers gives an egg to two kids and a creature and then something hatches out of it - that a whole slew of comic-making folks play with and subvert. Jhonen Vasquez is present, as well as James Turner.

Okay, now I see. Strange Eggs was an all-ages comic with the above plot that I totally missed out on and now it's being savaged by various folks. So there's the potential for a child to witness the horrific vision of Jhonen Vasquez! Fun! The quality is all over the place here but it's worth it for Turner's contribution, as well as the phrase "Maliki and Llama, Creationist boy detectives".

Chew No. 2 - I like this comic. I like the setup, the main character, the art. Psychic adventures in the service of the FDA, yeah! Plus, the mystery that was introduced in this issue wasn't solved by the end! Hurrah! Actual detecting in a detective comic? Plus occasional acts of cannibalism? Oh my duckies, this could be a good one. Also, this issue reveals that there are three cibopaths in the world: Tony Chu, his partner and a Russian agent who I'll bet a dollar will turn up for a fistfight sooner or later.

Greek Street No. 1

Oh, bleah. I'm going to have to disagree with Grant Morrison on this one. This is not a good comic. Hey, but at least Vertigo's new first issue pricing means that I only paid a dollar to find that out, right?

The idea behind Greek Street seems to be that stories happen over and over and hey, here are some modern retellings of the Greek myths. Now, about half an hour ago you could have gotten me pretty excited with that little summary - heck, I was a Classics minor - but then half an hour ago I hadn't read this thing. It's just so... poorly executed. Oh hey, Cassandra is a crazy Goth chick, yeah! The Furies are a gang who are big on retribution, okay! There goes a guy, sleeping with his mother! Not that I object to a little darkness in my comics, but ramp up to it a bit. Greek myths are full of murder and patri- fratri- matri- and infanticide but on the other hand they aren't generally told seven at a time. Maybe if all of the stories going on here were told individually instead of at the same time I'd like the new sping better.

No, I probably wouldn't, because the dialogue is terrible. Bah!

The Muppet Show No. 4 (of 4) - All done... So sad. Hope that there's more, because this was a great series. Highlight of the issue: Fozzie and Gonzo imitating chickens.

Irredeemable No. 4 - I'm liking this one as much as ever, though I really hope that the eventual revelation re: why the Plutonian went bad is a good one. Going from Superman-clone to these supreme levels of dickishness is going to have to have a pretty good trigger. I think that Waid can step up, probably. We'll see. Anyway, this issue is all about enjoying Qubit, the eccentric genius machine empath cheese lover. He's very enjoyable!

Rex Libris Book 2

This came out last week and I put it on my "longer than twenty pages" pile and promptly forgot to write about it. As a former and hopefully future library worker I love me some Rex Libris, and as a fan of big guys who solve problems with their fists I love him again. And then a third time because James Turner's art is great and unique and uniquely great. I've had a busier-than-usual week and so haven't gotten to finish it, but I'd have bought even if it were just a two-page pamphlet containing the scene where Rex attempts to classify the zombie that is about to attack him. Dammit, I wanted to quote the scene but I am evidently the least-organized man on Earth. Trust me, it's great.

Speaking of James Turner, the next issue of Warlord of Io, that very fun comic was supposed to come out around now but was scuttled by Diamond's brain-enraging new distribution requirements (i.e., they won't distribute anything without a certain number of pre-orders). But! Mr. Turner is planning on bringing out the full Warlord of Io story as a graphic novel some time in the future, and currently has the unreleased issue available online here.

Tales Designed to Thrizzle Volume One

This book works out very well for me, as I somehow missed this series until it hit issue five and hey! this collects issues one through four, in glorious colour! I'm about halfway through and I've already busted a gut at least twice, with one gleeful cry of "with a bitter whore!", if that tells you anything. As my compatriots pointed out at the comic shoppe yesterday, this is probably the best book in a while to give as a gift, for basically anyone with a decent sense of humour.

Far Arden - As I said, I've had a lot to read this week, so Kevin Cannon's new book hasn't even been opened since I bought it. I'm mentioning it anyway, because I read one page in the store and was sold. On this page, a man was eaten by a bear, with the sound effect HUMAN-SIZED BITE! How could I resist? HOW? I'll be reading it this week - let's see if I can muster up the neurons to remember to tell you how it is (I'm guessing that it's going to be great). Update: I read the first chapter this morning and it is great.

Happy Canada Day!

It's Canada Day, so we're on vacation (and we don't get our comics until tomorrow).

In the meantime, may I suggest these Canada-themed posts from our archives?

Rating the Super Hunks: Wolverine

Doctor Doom Takes Off to the Great White North

2009 Shuster Awards Nominees Announced!

Archie Sunday: Canada Here We Come!

Grant Morrison 1, Jeph Loeb 0

Veronica in Canada

May I also suggest watching Loverboy videos all day on YouTube? 

May I also suggest looking at pictures of baby beavers?

However you choose to celebrate, Happy Canada, everyone!

(And also, happy birthday to my brother Luke!)

Wonder Woman is Not Lame

There has been a lot of talk around the internet this past week on the subject of Wonder Woman and how lame she is. This is thanks to Hollywood it-girl Megan Fox's recent dismissal of rumours that she will be cast as the Amazon Princess. Her response:

“Wonder Woman is a lame superhero… She flies around in her invisible jet and her weaponry is a lasso that makes you tell the truth. I just don’t get it. Somebody has a big challenge on their hands whoever takes that role but I don’t want to do it.”

What weaponry do you have, Megan Fox? And what colour is your jet?

I sincerely hope that no one in Hollywood offered the role to Ms. Fox. As nicely as I am sure she could fill out the costume, I don't think she has the acting abilities to pull off a lead role, let alone a character as iconic as Wonder Woman.

Noted internet mega-douche Rich Johnston recently submitted a post about Wonder Woman by Adisakdi Tantimedh to BleedingCool.com. It includes absurd statements like:

"She only does two things: hit people or tie people up."

"Frank Miller found some spark recently by depicting her as a ball-busting bitch who secretly wants to be taken, preferably by Superman (since he’s the only one strong enough to be able to beat her up)"

"So for more than half a century, DC Comics has been marketing a scantily-clad dominatrix to children. She’s a heroic dominatrix, and she does it for free, so I guess that’s all right."

Most of the post seems to be arguing that, because Wonder Woman was created by a man with a bondage fetish, she is not capable of being developed past that point. Much like fans don't hold Superman's silver age dickery against him now (because it was the god damn 1950s and 60s), I think we can look beyond the flaws of Wonder Woman's early comics. When I say we need to overlook the bad Wonder Woman comics, I realize that this means overlooking a lot of comics, but that's ok because by doing so we'll discover the delicious centre of this character. With regard to her costume being silly...is it? Really? Is it more ridiculous than any other super hero costume? Is that really an obstacle to enjoying the character or taking her seriously?

Like ANY character, Wonder Woman is as good as the person writing her. When she is written well, she is a compelling and inspiring heroine.

Wonder Woman is a lot of things, but she is certainly not lame. Here's a run-down:

Wonder Woman is Royalty

She is Princess of the Amazons, carved from clay by her mother and given life by the gods. Joining her in this category are non-lame heroes such as Namor the Sub-Mariner, Aquaman, Orion and Black Panther. Not only is she royalty, she is on a first-name basis with the gods.

Wonder Woman is a Leader

Like Superman, Batman, or Captain America, Wonder Woman commands awe and respect when people encounter her. She has gotten this reaction from children, the citizens she rescues, the villains she beats up, and fellow super heroes. She can not only lead an army into battle, she can also take on the role of a teacher to her fellow Amazons, and to some of the younger heroes in the DCU.

Wonder Woman is a Warrior

I feel that this, above all others, is Wonder Woman's defining characteristic. Her instinct is to fight, to kill if necessary, and to lead her army into battle. She is not a detective, a scientist, or a mild-mannered reporter. She is the DC Universe's most ruthless warrior and most capable battlefield commander. She makes the hard decisions that Superman and Batman don't want to know about. She has a magic lasso and an invisible jet, and she also has a shield and sword, bullet-deflecting wristbands, and, oh yeah, superstrength, stamina and the ability to fly.

Wonder Woman is a Government Agent

It's easy to forget that Wonder Woman has a pretty impressive day job. Like Sgt. Fury, Mr Terrific, or Iron Man, Diana Prince fights to protect humanity even out of costume. And let me remind you that she is working to protect a world that she doesn't have to care about at all. She could be home on Paradise Island, eating grapes and lounging beside the pool. She is a princess, afterall, but she is a princess with a punch card.

Wonder Woman is an Outcast

Like Superman, Captain America, or Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman is living outside of her comfort zone. She was sent as an ambassador to "man's world," she fought in World War II, she was banished from Paradise Island for making a difficult decision, she was shunned by the Justice League for making a difficult decision more recently. Now she has chosen to isolate herself from her fellow Amazons once again. Wonder Woman has long suffered for her habit ignoring the rules in favour of doing what needs to be done.

Wonder Woman is a Hero

Wonder Woman doesn't have to waste her time at boring Justice League meetings, but she does it anyway. She is often given a third-place standing in the DC Heroes Trinity, but when you really think about it, an Amazonian princess sculpted by the gods clearly outranks an alien who has super powers by fluke chance and a miserable billionaire with too much time on his hands.

I love Wonder Woman because she doesn't brood. There is nothing emo about her. She is, in fact, one of the toughest sumbitches in comic books, yet still manages to have a comforting motherly aura.

Wonder Woman is loved. By me, by her fellow super heroes, by her fellow Amazons, and by the world. Her importance to the DCU cannot be overstated.

We don't need a Wonder Woman movie. I'd love to see one, but not so badly that I would settle for Megan Fox.

"You'll Have To Hire A Lot Of New People." Special Advance Review of Darwyn Cooke's Parker: The Hunter!

It seems as though writer/artist Darwyn Cooke has been a fixture of the comic industry a lot longer than he has. Consider this—his breakthrough graphic novel, Batman: Ego, was released a mere nine years ago, showcasing a creative sensibility already finely honed by years spent in design and animation. Since then, Cooke has increased his profile with his work on Catwoman (first with the original graphic novel Selina’s Big Score, and followed by penciling duties on the most recent run of the ongoing series), his epic re-imagining of the Justice League’s origin in the New Frontier miniseries, and his relaunch of Will Eisner’s The Spirit. Cooke entered the comics field with a clear idea of what he wanted to do and how he wanted it done, and that straightforwardness of purpose has never been more clear than in his latest graphic novel, an adaptation of Richard Stark’s (AKA Donald Westlake) first Parker novel, The Hunter, available at finer comic and book stores everywhere July 22.

The Hunter formed the basis for the 1967 film Point Blank, starring Lee Marvin, and 1999’s Payback with Mel Gibson. However, unlike its cinematic ancestors, Cooke’s graphic novel sticks to the book’s plotline exactly, following tough-as-nails professional thief Parker as he punches, chokes, stabs, and shoots his way to the top of a criminal organization known alternately as the Outfit, the Syndicate, or the Organization. We learn through various flashbacks that Parker was betrayed and left for dead on his last job by both his wife and his fellow thieves, and after a stint on a work farm for vagrancy, Parker hits the mean streets of New York looking for satisfaction (and the $45,000 that constitutes his end of the job’s take). As Parker works his way up the food chain, he learns that the money from the heist was used to pay off an outstanding mob loan, which means that the only way for him to get it back is to shake down the Organization for it. Outnumbered and outgunned, Parker nonetheless meets the criminal conspiracy head on, bumping off various lieutenants and assorted underlings in order to instigate a final showdown.

In the first of four proposed hardcover Parker graphic novels for IDW publishing, Cooke has stripped his style down to the bare essentials, in a way that matches Stark’s famously blunt prose. The only colour that appears is a gunmetal blue tone, and even the panel borders have disappeared. The result is a sparse, high-contrast look that resembles images glimpsed in the muzzle flash of a pistol. The book’s 1962 setting allows Cooke to run wild with the kind of settings and fashions that clearly grip his imagination. The confident, no-nonsense storytelling doesn’t lead you by the hand—for instance, at one point Parker uses a pocket knife to disfigure a corpse before hiding it, and we don’t learn why for several more pages. However, there’s never any doubt that we will learn why, and that the answer will make perfect sense. As a character, Parker is wholly unsympathetic; at one point, he accidentally kills an innocent woman while attempting to subdue her. He doesn’t even really register remorse over this, but instead finds a way to use her death to create a distraction that brings him closer to his prey. Stark and Cooke never ask us to empathize with Parker, though—we’re merely witnesses to his relentless pursuit of what he sees as fair retribution. Readers seeking morally upright, or at least morally conflicted, protagonists might want to look elsewhere. The Hunter feels exactly like the book Darwyn Cooke was born to do, in terms of setting, characters, and subject matter. Reading it, you can tell he had the time of his life creating it, and that kind of enthusiasm is always infectious.