Random Acts of Haney

I was working all day today, so this entry in Bob Haney Rules Week will be random...and awesome!

We'll start with a bone-chilling panel depicting Batman's messed-up sense of humour:

"Am I right, boys? Ha ha!"

*shudder*

And here we have a triple whammy of greatness. Batman makes a crazy comparison, calls Robin "kiddoo" (rhymes with Ski-doo) and Robin yells "God!" (Even funnier if read with a Napoleon Dynamite voice).

Next we have Batman a little off his game:


Look out, Bruce! There is a large and obvious bunch of men in your room! Just turn your head slightly! Use your peripheral vision! Stop reading that man's diary!

Aw, what am I worried about? It's not like they could really trap Batman with a stupid net!

Oh. Well...at least they took his shirt off and tied him up. Diabolical!

"However did you see through my cunning disguise, Clark? Was it the fact that I haven't altered my appearance in any way?"

"No, Bruce, old friend. I was just doing my usual rounds of x-raying the shirt of every man I see when I noticed the Bat symbol on your rugged chest."

In case you aren't convinced that Haney is the king of convoluted plot lines, this next panel more or less sums up the story the last four panels were from:

"Check!" That's very cute.

And finally...I love it when they finish each other's sentences:

Aiiiiieeee!!

Bob Haney Rules Week continues.

I love how frequently the characters of the Haneyverse emit bone-chilling banshee cries.

And, yes. That is what Batman is saying.

Which is better? Aieeee! or...

I can't decide. Possibly even funnier than these exclamations is Batman's reaction to his boy partner being electrocuted:

Batman only looks out for one guy: Batman.

Moments later...

Yeah...you probably should have. Jackass.

Anyway, back to humorous cries of agony. This is my favourite:

"Aiiee! I...I'm blacking out!" Man. Even I can take blacking out better than that.

By contrast, Haney's Green Lantern can silently take a beating. Like a man.

Superman and Batman Quit Earth, Not Each Other.

Why? I'll tell you why. Because in outer space no one will judge their love.

"And we're not coming back until we're allowed to wed legally!"

"In outer space, our lives will be perfect. We'll fly around holding hands all day!"

Awwwww.

Also in this issue:

Yowza! Man I love Bob Haney and his crazy hippy talk. He makes our heroes say the most ridiculous (and sexy) things to each other.

This Week's Haul: New and Improved Aquaman, Super Hero Crushes and Mad Scientists

I've decided not to change the title of my weekly new comic reviews from "This Week's Haul" because I can't think of a better one. Also, I've already been tagging the old posts using that. But I have added a subtitle, which I think jazzes it up nicely.

The theme of this week's new comics is Getting My Money's Worth, because I certainly did.

Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane #16

New artist on this one, and we were all a little scared of that, but...

...he did good. David Hahn totally won me over with his drawings of Firestar:

Realism! That's how a tight costume would look on a young girl! You rule, David!

I love this comic sooooo much. Mary-Jane is with Harry, and Spider-Man is hanging out with Firestar, and Peter Parker is getting the cold shoulder from Gwen and Mary-Jane...oh the teen drama!

The Spirit #4

I have been waiting a long time to see this awesome cover somewhere other than the internet. Soooo nice.

I can't even think coherently about this series because I love it so much. It just keeps getting better and better, which is insane because the first issue was perfect.

One coherent thought: I love that the narration was Satin's, and that she repeatedly noted the dreaminess of The Spirit. But her narration was so tough that it lead you believe it was actually The Spirit talking for the whole first page.

Man this comic is fun. And Dave Stewart really works his magic on this one, with awesome washed-out colouring in the desert.

If you're not reading this series, you're just crazy.

The Brave and the Bold #2

Everybody earns their money with this issue. George Perez crams an unbelievable amount of art on every page. It's not just the cover. I believe that man could draw the entire DCU onto a grain of rice if he needed to. Bob Wacek had a whole lotta inking to do on this. Mark Waid has to put words in the mouths of two of DC's most famous self-involved chatterboxes, and he succeeds with witty banter and fun quips throughout. There is a hell of a lot of colour in this book , so kudos to Tom Smith, and my wrist hurt just looking at all the lettering that needed to be done. Well done, Rob Leigh!

Green Lantern and Supergirl. As it turns out, not a bad combo at all. Kara keeps flirting with Hal, Hal keeps reminding himself that Kara is 17. And that's gross, but also funny because it's Hal. Please go for it, Hal, just so I can watch Superman clean the floor with you.

Supergirl looked better than usual in this book. That's what you get when Perez is drawing, I guess. I will always hate that costume, but this was the best I'd seen it look.

Next on deck: Batman and Blue Beetle. We got a taste in this issue, but I really can't wait for more.

Detective Comics #830

Last we left our heroes, Batman was wearing an ill-fitting suit, Robin was sticky, and a terrorist was going to blow up Wayne Tower. Stuart Moore has been filling-in for Paul Dini for these two issues, and he did a decent job. This issue had some exciting moments. Bruce talking Tim through the removal of the blasting cap that was stuck in the plastic explosives covering Tim's body. The cap could be detonated at any moment, but they were both totally cool under the pressure. I like how the story has them only able to communicate though radio even though they are in the same building. It' s a tense little story. Good stuff.

I think I do like Andy Clarke's art. I was trying to decide on the last issue. It's very clean, but there's nice detail where detail needs to be. And this page is really nice:

Justice Society of America #4

What's this? A cover with a sense of humour from Alex Ross? Delicious!

I'll be interested to know why exactly Wildcat has a son who can actually turn into a wildcat. I am sure that he is interested himself. Until then, I'm just going to assume there's a good explanation and enjoy Ted bonding with his son.

This was another good issue. Another giant fight against Nazis. This series has been great at balancing the old characters and the new in a way that makes me care about all of them.

I'd like to give special attention to Dale Eaglesham's version of Powergirl. For Powergirl, she is downright presentable.

I mean, I've accepted that Powergirl is never going to be sensibly dressed, but that is a relatively small boob window she's sporting in this series. I also really like her very cute haircut and her loose-fitting, diagonal belt. I'd like to see her in some pants. I think pants suit her more, and kind of balance out the boob window, but I guess she's not supposed to be toned down.

Anyway, she certainly looks better when drawn by Eaglesham than by, oh, say...Michael Turner:
Oy.

52: Week 46


Revenge of the nerds!!! Black Adam heads to Oolong Island to hunt down the team of mad scientists who are responsible for killing his family. The result? Black Adam gets served!
First of all, let's acknowldge, because it's easy to forget, how awesome it is that, in 52, we got to see DC's mad scientist all-stars piled together on an island building doomsday devices.

And then we get to see them beat up on a superhero/villain/misunderstood strong guy:

Grand! Well done, Morrison!

Then we get some sort of closure (I assume...I hope...) to the whole Luthor/Steel fiasco, with help from Clark "I wish I could fly" Kent. And, in other news, Atom Smasher wants to help.

Also, there is an origin story for this fellow named Batman, who sounds like quite the hero indeed! I must look into this brave young man and his essential story lines.

Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis #50

So, I didn't read much of the Busiek run on Aquaman, but I am familiar with what was going on. This was a nice big comic. It cost over a dollar more than usual, but I definitely felt I got my money's worth. It's a really fun read, and I would say a good place to start reading Aquaman if you're at all interested. I don't know much about Tad Williams , the new writer, because I don't read many fantasy comics, but the writing was great and I think Aquaman, being set under the sea and all, lends itself well to fantasy-style storytelling. There is no end to the creatures you can invent, or the landscapes.

I like the introduction of Topo:

He's not your grandmother's octopus friend! He's a whole new breed of octo-pal!

Alright, Aquaman. You've got my attention. I'm looking forward to the next issue.