World's Finest #71: Teaming Up To Confuse Lois

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Showcase Presents: World's Finest finally came out last week. If you buy only one book in your life, make it this one.

I haven't done a page-by-page analysis of a comic for awhile. Re-reading this one in the Showcase book reminded me that it is AWESOME.

Behold the greatness that is World's Finest #71!

Well that was bad luck, Superman. But maybe you should be more careful about where you get changed. Well-lit hallways aren't the best hiding spots. And you should probably actually step back into that "convenient doorway," not just stand in front of it. Also...you can change at Super speed! Come on, man! How bad do you want this?

Superman saves Batman and Robin, of course. And Batman, being the full-time sweetheart that he is, only cares about Superman's problems. Mostly because, apparently, Superman was whining to him about Lois seeing him getting changed.

As always, Batman has a plan. A crazy plan!

I know you are probably thinking that, while Superman could plausibly pass as Batman, what with the mask and all, Bruce might have a tough job posing as the Man of Steel. For one thing, his entire head is exposed. For another...no powers. Because Batman is awesome, he lets none of these small details stop him.

Even though anyone would say that Superman has the easier job here, he fails miserably at being Batman. Behold the first couple of panels of Superman being Batman:

And there he stays for the remainder of the comic. (I love that second panel so much).

Bruce starts Operation: Confuse Lois by blatantly changing in front of her:

Lois can't be played like that. She's too smart. She sees Superman's crazy scheme and she raises one:

A date with Lois Lane is a SCARY date!

Let's see what happens on the Lion Picnic date:

A date with Bruce Wayne means a date where no less than three lions get punched in the mouth.

Bruce actually offers this explanation later:

That actually sounds pretty complicated, Bruce.

Lois has an even more insane plan up her sleeve. She goes on another date with Bruce, this time to the art gallery. Check out this slick move:

First of all, I love Bruce's art interpretation. Secondly, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LOIS?! There is a line between sane and crazy that you crossed a loooong time ago.

And wait until you hear Bruce's explanation of this one:

Wow. When exactly did he do all that?

That's an excellent point that Robin is making. The same thing occurred to me.

Ok, this comic gets more excellent right now:

Yeah, I can't think of a single reason why Superman might not be able to help Lois move. Just make up anything! "Sorry, Lois, but I had to stop an Earthquake/visit another planet/stop a super villain/save people/I'm Superman and I don't really have to help you move."

But all Bruce can come up with is this:

By the way, Bruce does actually end up looking exactly like Superman when in costume. This is thanks to what has to be POUNDS of theatre make-up. He must look insane.

I love Bruce explaining that Superman patronizes local businessmen unnecessarily. I like the idea that Superman maintains a tight network of business contacts.

You think that Bruce can't lift that moving van, but look!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: HOW MUCH FREE TIME DOES BATMAN HAVE?!

I'll tell you: enough to construct a cardboard truck, a complicated balloon system to keep it afloat, and some sort of steering mechanism. AND paper mache replicas of ALL of Lois's possessions. That must have been a late night for the Dynamic Duo.

Let's take a moment to remember that, during all of this, Superman is slumped, unconscious, in a corner somewhere wearing a Batman costume.

Lois is more determined than ever to prove that Superman is out to trick her. In the process she almost gets run off the road by her own thought balloon:

She finally discovers poor Superman's nearly-dead body:

That is a very confusing set of panels. "It's Batman! It's Superman! It's Clark!" I mean, there's your answer right there. If you can look at Superman and say with certainty that it is Clark Kent, then clearly Superman = Clark.

These next panels are adorable:

I wonder if this is the point where it occurs to Bruce that his brilliant plan is actually pretty stupid. Just look what happened: Superman is almost dead, Bruce has to carry a very heavy man to safety, and EVERYONE is confused.

Oh, and now Lois thinks Bruce Wayne is Superman. Which isn't good for anyone.

But don't worry. They have a plan for that too:

Oh man I love it when Superman winks at me. I totally blush and start giggling every time. I can't even imagine how exciting it would have been for the kids this comic was written for.

I also love that Lois isn't buying any of this. She's just "Whatever, Superman. You and Bruce can play your stupid games all you want. I'm not dumb."

This is just a taste of the total and complete awesomeness that lives inside Showcase Presents: World's Finest. I mean, we haven't even started talking about the Caveman From Krypton yet.

This Week's Mini-Haul

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I'm back from Toronto, aka The Big...City?

Anyway, it was fun and we played and people liked us and we met Wanda Jackson and she was rad and I ate lots of good food and I finally went to The Silver Snail and it was awesome.

And I saw a raccoon walking down the street!

Now I'm back in Hali. Eating Kraft Dinner. Wishing I had cable so I could watch the Red Sox game. GO SOX!!!

Comics were great this week. I didn't get a chance to do proper reviews, but here are some quickies:

Brave and the Bold: Ohmygod. This was so good. This series is, seriously, perfect. Wonder Woman and Power Girl together, and they were so distinct from each other. It was great.

Catwoman: I was really scared for this issue because I kinda knew what was going to happen. I don't like that they are writing off Selina's daughter, but I am REALLY glad that Zatanna didn't mindwipe Selina or anything. That would have suuuuuuuucked. So I hate that the kid is gone, but it was done in the best way possible.

Aquaman: Sniff! Farewell, Aquaman. I loved you so.

Justice League of America: It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. Actually, it was completely forgettable.

Birds of Prey: This was tons of fun. I am looking forward to McKeever writing this series, but if Bedard was going to stay on as the writer for a while I wouldn't complain.

Captain America: The more Winter Soldier the better, I say! So I loved this issue. But, like I was saying in the shop the other day, it would be pretty surprising if Ed Brubaker ever wrote a bad issue. And if he did, I would assume it was brilliant satire.

Marvel Adventures The Avengers: Ty Templeton! Between this and the Avengers Classic comic this week, I just really love the Avengers. (Note: Avengers Classic would make an excellent golf tournament title).

Metamorpho Year One: Y'all should be checking this out if you're not. It's really good!

And that's all I got to. I still have to read Umbrella Academy, Countdown and Death of the New Gods.

Rating the Super Hunks #16: Ryan Choi

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I hope that everyone is cool with what I have decided will be a bi-weekly schedule for Rating The Super Hunks. I just don't have the time to keep it up on a weekly basis anymore. And I know you guys don't want me to resort to fill-in writers.

So let's pull out our microscopes and look way down at the man I am calling Super Hunk Rookie of the Year...

The Atom, aka Ryan Choi

Costume/Apperance: I think Ryan's science nerd friends did a nice job designing his costume. It takes the best elements of the classic Ray Palmer costume and brings it up-to-date. I particularly like the red that runs down the outside of the pants, and the blue on the inside. I love the stylized A on the front and the red boots and blue gloves, and, of course, the big giant belt.

I'm never a fan of the hair-concealing mask, but that big ol' atom symbol looks cool. And the costume, like the Flash suit, is as tight as a costume can possibly get, and shows off Ryan's gymnast physique.

Outside of the costume, and at full-height, Dr Choi is a real looker. He's got that young, hot professor thing going for him.

I would say that Ryan has gotten considerable more attractive since John Byrne stopped drawing him (cough, cough).

Ryan isn't, like, crazy hot. But he's tangibly hot, and that counts for something. He's a cute nerd with a perfect body and a handsome face. What else could you ask for?


Rating: 8/10

Personality: Of all the heroes in all of comic books, Ryan Choi is the one that I feel I would be most comfortable hanging out with. Even though I know nothing about science, I do know a thing or two about being nerdy.

Ryan just blends heroism and nerdiness and humour really nicely. He's like Peter Parker, but not completely annoying.

He's a physics professor who idolized Ray Palmer as a kid. Now he's basically in way over his head as he took over both Palmer's job at the university in Ivy Town, and Palmer's superhero identity. Most people would have a hard time suddenly being thrown into the craziness that is the DC world of superheroing, but Ryan has handled it very well. No matter how unusual the situation.

Above everything else, Ryan Choi is just a really nice guy. With most of these super hunks, there is at least one incredibly shitty thing that the hunk in question has done that I need to factor in. Now, I realize that Ryan is new on the scene and he therefore has plenty of opportunity to self-destruct, but I would be very surprised if he ever does anything awful to anyone. He's just a sweetheart. Maybe a bit of a push-over, but a sweetheart nonetheless.

I mean, who else would capture an alien floating head who showed up at his house to destroy him, and then let him live with him as his new roommate? Only the nicest guy in the world.

He definitely needs to stand up for himself more, but I think he's learning.

9/10

Day Job: Physics professor. I can't say that this is the sexiest profession in the world, but it isn't the least sexy either. At least he's smart. And successful. That counts for something.

It seems to get the ladies, anyway.

7/10

Sexiness of Super Powers: Well...he can shrink really small. That's...sexy? I dunno, it isn't, like, super strength, or flight, or enhanced senses or anything. It's actually kinda gross.

But I do like the way he surfs on the Bangstick. And I like the word 'Bangstick.'

And the gymnastics and fighting ability certainly counts here. He's pretty awesome in battle.

I would even go so far as to factor in that he has the most consistently hilarious banter in comics right now.


6/10

Cons: I'm having a tough time here. Maybe because Ryan is so new he hasn't really shown many flaws. I mean, he's not the most assertive superhero on the block, and he gives off vibes of total inexperience with the ladies, but overall there isn't too much to hold against this guy.

I dunno...I can't really think of any reason to deduct marks.

- 0

Final Score: 30/40

Nice work, Ryan! You're already in the big leagues of super hunkery. I think we can thank Gail Simone. The lady knows how to write a dreamboat.