The Best of 2007

2007: The year that the Civil War ended, Hulk Smashed, Sinestro rounded up the troops, Captain America bought the farm, and DC fans half-heartedly began counting down to the glorious day when Countdown would finally be over.

It was a good year for comics, which means I have an epically long post to make here that lists my top picks of the year. Once again, this list encompasses all things comic related. I liked a lot of stuff this year, but after much careful deliberation, I have decided to name these twenty things the best of the year. These are not ranked in any particular order.

In short:

1. Shazam!: The Monster Society of Evil
2. Booster Gold
3. Sinestro Corps
4. Minx
5. The Death of Captain America
6. The Spirit
7. X-Men First Class
8. Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four
9. Marvel Adventures and other Kids Comics
10. Grant Morrison on Batman
11. Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis
12. Jeffrey Brown
13. Spider-Man 3
14. Geoff Johns and Richard Donner on Action Comics
15. Scalped
16. Doctor Thirteen: Architecture and Mortality
17. Essex County: Tales From the Farm and Ghost Stories by Jeff Lemire
18. The Brave and the Bold
19. I'm a Marvel/I'm a DC
20. The Immortal Iron Fist

1. Shazam!: The Monster Society of Evil

Jeff Smith stepped up to the superhero plate and knocked this one way, WAY out of the park. Though sadly only four prestige-format issues long, this comic got the same reaction when it came out as All-Star Superman: universal love from everyone. But this had the added bonus of being a perfect comic to recommend to kids, particularly the legions of Bone fans. Anything that gets kids into Captain Marvel is ok by me.

These comics have now been collected in a beautiful hardcover book that comes with a really nice poster. All hardcover books should come with posters.

2. Booster Gold

The biggest surprise for me this year was not how good this series is, but how surprised everyone else was by how good it is. I don't know what about Geoff Johns writing Booster Gold doesn't sound awesome to people. Basically a solo Booster Gold title is all I need to be happy, and having Johns write it is just gravy. (Of course, I'd be a little happier if it were a Blue/Gold team-up book).

This comic has been one of the most consistently enjoyable titles of the year. I am loving Booster's nerdy road trip through time, visiting a cavalcade of favourite characters from all corners of the DCU.

3. Sinestro Corps

And since we're talking about Geoff Johns anyway, lets talk about the best comic book event of the year.

I actually can't believe how successful this was. From the perspective of someone working in a comic shop, it was awesome to see the copies of Green Lantern and Green Lantern Corps fly off the shelves. Both were great titles to begin with, and now I have noticed an increased interest in all things Green Lantern.

So of course the exciting turning point in this series was when the Guardians enabled the Corps to use lethal force for the first time ever.

It got very awesome after that.

If I had to pick my favourite single issues of the year, both the Sinestro Corps one shot that launched this event, and the double-size issue of Green Lantern that ended it, would be on that list. It's rare that a big cross-over event has a great beginning and ending. World War Hulk started out really strong, but the final issue fell a little flat. And Civil War...well..you know. We don't even have to talk about One More Day.

And that is why Sinestro Corps is the best comic book event of the year.


4. Minx

When DC first announced a new line of comics aimed at teen girls, my first thought was "Siiiiiighhhhh." I've never been a fan of anything that's aimed at girls. Leading up to the big debut, there was much nitpicking about the name of the line (I believe someone remarked "Why not name it 'Slutz'?"), and also about the fact that there was, like, one woman total involved in the writing/drawing of these books.

I am saying all of this because despite my determination to not care one way or the other about this launch, I took home a copy of the debut title, The Plain Janes, and totally loved it.

And I realized that everything about the Minx label was good. First we have comics which authentically speak to teen girls with characters who are not only believable, but really great role models. All of the girls in these books are cool. They make embarrassing mistakes (usually due to teen crushes on boys) and learn lessons. Even if you believe, and rightly so, really, that these books are being read more by the usual comic fans and are not necessarily reaching a new readership, they are still awesome because it gives indie comic writers and artists a new platform. DC marketed the hell out of this line in 2007. I think it's impressive enough that one of the big two publishers is throwing their weight behind black and white, non-super hero comic one-shots.

My favourite Minx book so far was Mike Carey's Re-Gifters. I really liked the main character. It was a good tom-boy story.

Well done, DC! I look forward to more of these fun, affordable little books!

5. The Death of Captain America

This was one of those rare events where something that happens in comic books makes it into the mainstream press. It's always weird to hear about a superhero dying on CNN. What this means for retailers is that a million zillion people come into the store and buy five copies of issue #25 with bags and boards, and we never, ever see those people again. It's too bad for them because they are missing out on one of the very best comics being written now, or possibly ever.

This comic has been going strong since the death of its titular character. Brubaker has developed such a strong cast of supporting characters that readers really haven't been missing Cap at all. Sharon, The Falcon, Winter Soldier, Tony Stark, Black Widow and others have been putting on a very entertaining show for us, full of mystery, intrigue, romance, angst, and revenge.

Plus...hot, hot Winter Soldier.


6. The Spirit

Twelve wonderful months of Spirit comics by Darwyn Cooke and J. Bone will soon be at an end, but I have high hopes for the future. Cooke managed to breathe new life into one of the greatest comic characters of all time in a way that few could. Even Ebony had a dignified role in this series, which is something that Frank Miller won't even attempt to do in his upcoming film.

Great writing and stunning art made this a favourite of fans and critics alike this year. It should do well at next year's Eisner Awards. The first six issues have already been collected in a great-looking hardcover, but hopefully the full twelve issues (technically eleven by Cooke) will be collected in an absolute edition someday.

I am very happy that, despite the absence of Cooke and Bone, this series will continue. The bar has been set high, but it was set pretty damn high when Cooke took the project on to begin with.


7. X-Men First Class

If I were to pick the top three comic writers of 2007, they would be Geoff Johns, Ed Brubaker and Jeff Parker. Not only because they are all good writers, but because they all worked on a lot of stuff and it was ALL GREAT.

Hey, I know that X-Men First Class started up in 2006, but they brought it back for a second series in '07 and for that I am eternally grateful. As someone who enjoys the X-Men, but not any current X-Men title on the shelves, this is perfect. My main problem with the X-Men is that there are too damn many of them. This brings it back to the basics: four dudes, one girl and a professor. The writing is hilarious, the art is always nice, and the comic is always all-ages appropriate. Much like Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane, I am confident recommending this to anyone. It just makes you feel all happy inside.

I am also grateful that they decided to include mini-comics by Colleen Coover! YAY!

In general I am pleases that Marvel is more open to having indie artists contributing to super hero comics. Projects like this one and Spider-Man Family, as well as the Fairy Tales books and all the other off-beat stuff lets writers and artists have some fun with the iconic characters. We haven't seen any fun like that over at DC since the Bizarro comic collections. Let's get another one of those on the shelves, DC!

8. Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four

Parker again! This time with the perfect antidote to all the whiny nonsense happening over in the main Spider-Man titles. This four-part series, written by Parker and drawn by the late Mike Wieringo, whose sudden death was the worst thing to happen to comics this year.

This series was everything that a Spider-Man and/or Fantastic Four series should be: funny, all-ages appropriate, and action packed. I loves projects like this that can just ignore current continuity and use popular characters in the ways that fans know and love:

You can buy the whole series as a paperback now. You owe it to yourself to read it if you haven't yet.


9. Marvel Adventures and Other Kids Comics!

Hold on, Jeff Parker! I'm not done with you yet! One of my favourite things about 2007 was the increased attention on comics for kids. Its a crazy idea. Imagine a comic book that even a kid could read!

Marvel added new titles to their already impressive Marvel Adventures line. Hulk and Iron Man got the all-ages treatment, just in time to get kids familiar before the 2008 movies are released. As well we saw Chris Giarusso's hilarious Mini Marvels comics added to the back of many Marvel titles. Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane, Marvel Adventures Avengers, and Franklin Richards: Son of a Genius were all rocking the house in 2007, along with mini-series like the one mentioned above.

Marvel also started re-printing silver age Avengers comics in their Avengers Classic series. I'm really into that, except the back-up stories, which are new, are always gory and inappropriate for young kids. I don't know why they would do that.

DC also launched the new Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st Century comic, to tie into the popular cartoon show. It's a great comic, and a great show, and I love that kids are familiar with the Legion now. DC is throwing down some new all-ages titles in the new year which I am excited for, including the new Shazam! ongoing series, the adorable Tiny Titans and the new Super Friends comic. 2008 could be a good year for kids!

10. Grant Morrison on Batman

It was exciting news for Batman fans when Morrison was announced as the new writer. Not only were Bat fans gaining one of the best writers in the business, but also one of the most prolific. If only Andy Kubert could stick around as long.

I really like Morrison's happier Bruce Wayne. And I've been enjoying the way he's had to deal with every obscure Batman chestnut that Morrison cares to dig up, be it an illegitimate son from 1987, or the reunion with the Club of Heroes. The latter storyline is, I think, three of the most brilliant comics of the year, and contain some of the best art of the year, by J.H. Williams III.

Not every issue of Batman since Morrison took over has been great, particularly due to the surprisingly dull Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul cross-over, but I am glad to have Morrison on Batman for the long haul. I look forward to many more of his wacky ideas.


11. Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis

I was pretty open about my love of Tad Williams' run on Aquaman, and about my misery that it was canceled. It was fun, well-written, exciting, funny, and had great art. Every cover was amazing. I think I can confidently say it was the best underwater story I have ever read. The cast of characters were great. Black Manta was back in all his glory:

It was just a really great comic book, but I guess no one was interested in a new version of Aquaman, even if it was becoming clearer that this new guy was going to lead us to the original king of Atlantis that we all know and love. While all the hype was going on about the long, convoluted search for Ray Palmer, this was quietly providing a much better search story for a missing hero. Sadly, we'll never know how it ends.

12. Jeffrey Brown

Jeffrey Brown put out two absolutely hilarious, 100% emo-free books this year. Cat Getting Out of a Bag and Other Observations and Incredible Change-Bots are two of my favourite books of 2007, and have been really easy to sell people on.

Turn to any page of Cat Getting out of a Bag and you will be unable to put it down. It's just so damn adorable. And every comic in it perfectly depicts the hilarious things cats do all the time.

Seriously, we couldn't keep this book in stock at the shop. It's impossible not to like it.

And Incredible Change-Bots was a fantastic and loving parody of the Transformers, timed perfectly as the antidote to that terrible movie that hit the theatres this summer (It was terrible. I stand by that statement).

So there you have it! A great year for Jeffrey Brown!

13. Spider-Man 3

Alright, here we go.

This movie was awesome. Are you ready for this? It was my favourite of the trilogy. That's right. I not only liked it, I liked it more than Spider-Man 2. I was really surprised by the amount of people who hated this movie. I mean, I expected Venom fans to be disappointed, but who cares about them?

Naw, I'm kidding. Look, I grew up as a member of the Venom generation. I thought he was cool, and I loved that Maximum Carnage video game. But seriously...Venom should never have been a part of Sam Raimi's Spider-Man movies. But he was, and I didn't think it sucked. I thought the black suit was used well. It was tons of fun, actually. I don't care what anyone says: I love that in Sam Raimi's world, a bad ass Peter Parker is one who plays hot jazz piano solos and dances.

This movie was fun! Why didn't people want a Spider-Man movie that was fun?! After the movie was over the first time I saw it I heard someone say "Booo! Where's Carnage?" Seriously? It's too bad because Raimi couldn't win: having Venom in the movie pissed off classic Spider-Man fans, and only having him in the movie for a little while pissed off Venom fans.

I also think people who criticize the movie are forgetting something: Sandman was AWESOME.

And also: Harry was awesome. I mean come on. The movie opens with an awesome fight between him and Peter. Then he falls and gets amnesia and is a super nice guy, which is very entertaining. He has a GIANT PAINTING OF WILLEM DEFOE on his wall, which rules. And he makes omelettes and dances the twist with Mary-Jane! It's fantastic! And then he turns bad again, and is so crazy evil. My favourite part of the movie is when he tells Peter that he has a thing going on with MJ, and then Peter leaves, all heartbroken, and the waitress asks him how the pie is, and Harry just smiles and says "So good" in the best way imaginable. THIS MOVIE IS GREAT! Screw the haters!


14. Geoff Johns and Richard Donner on Action Comics

I think that this is going to get left off a lot of best of lists this year. Sadly, both Superman titles were plagued by delays which meant that perfectly great Superman stories were chopped up and released so slowly that most people just plain forgot about them. Geoff Johns' run on Action with Richard Donner has been great. The Last Son storyline, which we will finally see the conclusion of in February, has been a real treat for fans of the Superman movies. The three-issue Bizarro arc with Eric Powell was fantastic. And the 3D issue was totally awesome! Plus there was a really great Action Comics Annual this year. When you think about it, Action really was one of the most consistently awesome titles of the year.


15. Scalped

I don't venture over to the darker side of comics that often, but Scalped is really an amazing series. Bleak doesn't even begin to describe the reservation that the series is set on. Besides the fact that it's one of the most compelling comics of the year, it also treads new ground. I think I saw at least 700 reviews this year that compared this to the Sopranos, but the Sopranos is about the Italian-American mafia, which has been depicted on screen and in comics for decades. Corruption and brutal violence on an Indian reservation is fresh subject for a drama, and it serves as a way to educate readers about the utter hopelessness of reservation life in North America.

The art, by R.M. Guera, is perfectly suited to the story, and the Jock covers are always stunning.

16. Doctor Thirteen: Architecture and Mortality

Brian Azzarello managed to out-obscure Grant Morrison and everyone else this year with his Dr. Thirteen back-up story, featured in the Tales of the Unexpected mini-series. Thankfully, it has now been collected into a trade so everyone can enjoy one of the best, and funniest, comics of the year. Plus, with art by Cliff Chiang, it's one of the best-looking comics of the year.

Dr. Thirteen, that lovable non-believer from old Phantom Stranger comics, is forced to team up with a motley crew of DC throw-away characters. Despite hanging around this wacky team, which includes I...Vampire, Infectious Lass, Anthro and J.E.B. Stuart of Haunted Tank fame, Dr Thirteen is convinced that none of them actually exist. Add to that the fact that his teen daughter is secretly a witch, and you're having a pretty good time.

And of course the real brilliance of this story is that it leads our heroes to the Architects, who turn out to be the writers of 52 (Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka, Geoff Johns and Mark Waid). It ends up being an amusing commentary on the way characters stop being used and therefore cease to exist in the DCU.

17. Essex County: Tales From the Farm and Ghost Stories by Jeff Lemire

These books combine my two greatest loves: comics and hockey. And they both totally blew me away.

This is just beautiful storytelling. I'm not an emotional person, but I actually teared up at the end of Ghost Stories. I've been lending the book to everyone. I love it. I am really looking forward to the next book.

Lemire's art perfectly suits these stories. I absolutely love the way he draws the big bruiser hockey players in both books, with their wide, disfigured noses and giant hands.

I was standing next to Jeff Lemire at TCAF in August but I was too shy to tell him how much I loved his work. So this is what I'm doing instead.

18. The Brave and the Bold

Absolutely one of my favourite things to happen this year was the return of The Brave and the Bold. Not only is this title back, it's better than ever! The creative team of Mark Waid and George Perez so good that they could have called this an All-Star book.

What's different about this title compared to the original is that it's a continuing story, rather than a series of one-shots. Normally I'd be against that, but the story is so damn good, and leads to so many awesome and bizarre team-ups that I really can't complain. Supergirl and Lobo! Wonder Woman and Power Girl! Batman and the Legion of Super-Heroes! The Flash and the Doom Patrol! Green Lantern and Supergirl! Batman and the new Blue Beetle!

It's just delightful, and perfect for giant super hero nerds such as myself. The love that Waid and Perez has for their work and these characters really shines through in this title. Any week that has a new Brave and the Bold is a good week.

19. I'm a Marvel/I'm a DC

I always like to include at least one fan contribution on this list. These little webisodes, made and posted by ItsJustSomeRandomGuy, have been a smash hit on YouTube this year, and I love them. They started simply enough: a parody of the "I'm a Mac/I'm a PC" Apple ads using a Superman action figure and a Spider-Man action figure. The result was that Marvel came off looking like the cool company, based entirely on the amount of successful movies based on their characters. One skit led to another and now they have 10-minute episodes with giant casts of action figures and full sets with props. They are all very funny, and full of biting commentary aimed equally at both DC and Marvel. Plus, they keep you up-to-date on all the latest movie rumours.

You can watch all of the videos at this link.

20. The Immortal Iron Fist

This technically started up at the end of 2006, but it definitely qualifies as one of the best comics of 2007.

As I've said before, it's just really obvious to the reader that Fraction and Brubaker are having a lot of fun writing this. Danny Rand is a fun character to begin with, and he has one of the best supporting casts in comics. Plus all of his battles involve kung-fu fighting, so you can't really go wrong.

The art is excellent. The fights are excellent. And the most recent arc was basically a crazy video game.

Plus there was a really excellent Iron Fist annual this year. I'm just really glad Iron Fist gets his own title again. And it's awesome.

Honorable Mentions

  • Black Adam
  • The Umbrella Academy
  • Omega the Unknown
  • Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together
  • Daredevil Annual
  • Metal Men
  • World War Hulk
  • Green Arrow Year One
  • The Perry Bible Fellowship: The Trial of Colonel Sweeto and Other Stories
  • Captain Carrot and the Final Arc
  • The Return of Nexus
  • Midnighter
  • JLA/Hitman
  • Metamorpho Year One
  • JSA
  • Avengers: The Initiative
  • 52 Aftermath: The Four Horsemen

Phew! Finally finished! So there it is. The best and brightest of 2007, at least as far as what I got around to reading. I'm sure lots of great stuff came out that I haven't read yet.

2008 is gearing up to be the nerdiest year ever. If we look at movies alone we have a jam packed year of pop culture trash that will keep us all fat and happy. 2008 opens with a new Rambo movie and closes with a new Star Trek movie. In between we get Iron Man, The Dark Knight, Hellboy II, The Incredible Hulk, The Punisher, Indiana Jones, Wanted, Hancock, Where the Wild Things Are, Speed Racer, Get Smart, a new James Bond, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, and a new Harold and Kumar. PLUS the awesome-looking Be Kind Rewind. AND a New Frontier DVD movie and at least one or two new Futurama DVD movies. It's the Year of the Nerd! Bring it on!

Archie Sunday: Weatherbeating

I can't think of a panel that more clearly demonstrates my theory that Riverdale is a terrifying town full of the worst people on Earth:

This man is a SCHOOL PRINCIPAL. And what is he going to do exactly when he finds Archie? Beat him with that 2x4? For real?

Of course he is. Because it's Riverdale, and Archie knows that if he doesn't hide in a tree all night, Mr Weatherbee will find him and beat him within an inch of his life.

It's also notable that those kids don't find anything odd about a furious man with a weapon stalking the streets at night looking for a frightened teenager. Par for course in ol' Riverdale.

Living Between Mondays

Alright, Christmas break is over. Time to get back to bloggin'.

Now, the bad news is that the new comics this week, due to a shipping error, won't be reaching Eastern Canada until...MONDAY!!!

Yes, it's true. No new Green Lantern, Batman, Captain America, Brave and the Bold OR Daredevil until MONDAY!

Fortunately, I got a bunch of comics to read for Christmas, including the Frank Miller/Klaus Janson Daredevil Omnibus, so I'm all set.

But mostly I have been reading Showcase Presents The Legion of Superheroes, which I also received for xmas. Man, what a bunch of jerks those kids are, eh? And Superboy is no better. Not even an apology to Mon-El for nearly killing him and then banishing him to the Phantom Zone? Really?

The other bright side to the comics being late is that it gives me time to work on my Best of 2007 post, which will probably take awhile.

And I've got some super hunks to rate.

Sooo...what did you guys get for Christmas?

This Week's Haul: Badness Happening in Tangent

So, I don't really want to get into the two comics in too much detail, but there was a very specific problem happening with Justice League of America and Countdown Arena this week. Consider first the infinitely unlikely coincidence of any Tangent comics character being referenced twice in one week. Now let's add the improbability that the same Tangent character is being used in two separate series...and that one of these comics completely contradicts the events of the other. I mean, I don't care to see the Tangent comics Flash in any of my books, but I certainly don't want her to be teaming up with the JLA in one book, and dying horribly in another at the exact same time. I mean, really, what are the odds that the same RIDICULOUSLY obscure character is being used twice in one week, and that they can't even get THAT to sync up?!

In related news, I dropped JLA from my pull list this week. I gave it a more than fair chance, and this issue was beyond terrible. Never in my wildest dreams would I expect to drop a JLA comic written by Dwayne McDuffie, but here we are.

And since I am waxing cranky about DC anyway, I'd also like to voice my disappointment of a complete lack of Christmas-themed comic this year. Oh, except the TERRIBLE issue of Detective Comics, which wrapped up the Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul with this drippy panel:

Yargh. I almost barfed on my comic, which would have reduced its condition to poor and I would not have been able to return it to the store.

But seriously, DC. Nothing? Last year you guys had that great Xmas issue of JLU, and then the half decent Infinite Christmas Holiday special, PLUS a festive issue of 52. And this year not even a festive installment of Countdown?! What's wrong with the DCU? It's a world of dread and fear, where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears. Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

And don't think you're getting away easy, either Marvel! What If Civil War?! That's not even a question! And the inside was, like, what if Civil War was written correctly the first time. But with much worse art, at least in the second story.

The Marvel Christmas Special was, however, very fun. Particularly the first story.

I'm in a bad mood because I took home a very large stack of comics and enjoyed very few of them. But, hey. It wasn't all bad. Let's look at some others:

The Immortal Iron Fist #11

Now THIS was an awesome comic!

This must be the funnest comic to write. Particularly this storyline, with the kung-fu matches happening in every issue, complete with crazy awesome names for every move.

And the bad guys are just so evil. I love it!

This series rules so much because its pretty much the lone representative on the shelves currently of a very classic genre of pulp entertainment. And it's a really, really good representative. It's kinda like The Spirit in that way. I feel when I am reading it that it's a labour of love for everyone involved.

Catwoman #74

I love this series, but why oh why must it constantly be tying into events? Particularly events that I have no interest in? If any comic should just be allowed to stand alone, it's this one. I get that they want to make Catwoman kinda badass again. This issue had her cutting off all her hair to symbolize her return to...I dunno...pre-One Year Later, I suppose. Forget everything you thought you knew and enjoyed about Selina Kyle, because now she's childless and being magically transported to Salvation Run! Why? I am guessing her books aren't selling well enough. Which is too bad because its an excellent series, and was actually the best post-Crisis book going, for my money. But thank God they are doing away with all those pesky character developments that I have been very excited about for the past year and a half or so. Why stop at this reduction? Let's just stuff her in the purple costume again and have Doug Moench write her.

Argh. Sorry. I trust in Pfeifer to maintain the awesomeness of this comic through whatever muck the higher ups at DC decide to drag it through, because he's done a good job so far. I'm just frustrated because I love this series so much, and Selina Kyle is one of my all-time favourite fictional characters. This issue was good, and the art was beautiful as always, but I just wish it could be left alone. I guess I should be thankful that it wasn't part of the Ra's Al Ghul crossover.

Birds of Prey #113

Sean McKeever makes his debut, and it's a loud one! He decides to kick off his run with a giant disaster which occurs on the BoP's watch. A big ol' chunk of Metropolis gets blown up. It's not good:

Barbara gets a strip torn off her from Superman:

I think it's an interesting direction for the series. Now the team is fighting to get back in Superman's good books. The writing was great, even though it understandably needed to include a number of quick character introductions to get new readers up-to-speed. I really enjoyed Tony Bedard's short run on this, but I'm excited to see what McKeever's got planned.

Incredible Hulk #112

Marvel wins this week because I really enjoyed this comic too. The art, by Khoi Pham and Stephane Peru, was really excellent.

I'm really enjoying the team-up of Hercules and this Amadeus kid. They are a lot of fun together.


Superman #671

All I really want to say about this comic is how much I love this panel:

Ahahahaha! He looks like Beaker!


Superman/Batman #44

Can you believe this series is up to issue #44 already? I do love that bold cover, though, of Superman busting right through Batman, ripping him clean in half.

I'm not going to lie to you...I was looking forward to this issue because I could not wait to make fun of it. After Michael Green's absolutely absurd run on Batman Confidential, I was expecting nothing less than side-splitting unintentional hilarity out of this book. I wasn't disappointed. But I also didn't hate it in the way I thought I would. It actually captured my heart, much like my beloved Smallville: it's so stupid, it's almost charming.

It opens with Superman and Batman secretly watching over the filming of a Superman/Batman movie (directed, apparantly, by Jeph Loeb).

They are using real Kryptonite on the set as a prop for "realism." That's fine, except this comic also works in Smallville continuity, meaning that Kryptonite causes mutations in many humans. So...if that were the case...they probably wouldn't be using it on the set of a movie. It wouldn't be all that safe.

Anyway, Livewire shows up and does her thing, which causes Kryptonite shards to fly everywhere, including into Superman's face and eye.

So he goes down, and Flash shows up. Except Flash is a TOTAL DOUCHE! He just keeps ribbing Supes for being taken down by a "second-stringer" like Livewire. But, seriously, Superman has a face full of Kryptonite and he is dying. And Flash is being all "Man, I am never going to let you live this down." It's jarringly out-of-character for ol' Wally.

Anyway, they get Superman to the Fortress of Solitude, and Batman shows up with Alfred so he can remove the Kryptonite. Could they have taken Superman to the Batcave and it would have been easier for everyone? Yes. Of course.

Superman does some thinking over the next few days, and then recruits Batman to help him rid the world of all Kryptonite. The issue ends with them realizing that there is an awful lot of it to round up. Good thing they have five more issues.

Metamorpho Year One #6

This comic had that thing that I love where superheroes team up to mess with people's heads!

The JLA totally shows up in this issue and disguises themselves as bad guys so Metamorpho will fight them and show them what he's got. I love that stuff!

And Batman...did nothing.

This was a great ending to a very fun mini-series. Well done! But I'm still not reading Outsiders!

***Speaking of The Outsiders, Geo-Force got traded in this week's issue. He's no longer a JLA member. Can they just do that? "Hey, Geo-Force...pack your desk. You're moving to the Outsiders."

Marvel Adventures: Fantastic Four #31

I will buy anything with David Hahn art. Plus, I loves me some Marvel Adventures comics.

This was written by Kirsten Sinclair, who I admit I am unfamiliar with. The issue is a lot of fun. The FF go shopping! And The Thing gets a facial!

It's very funny and the art, of course, is beautiful. Do check it out.

All done! My scanner wasn't working all week, but I got it up and running again. So the posts should be flowing on a more regular basis. Comments are welcome. We can talk about anything...like how rad Grendel is, or how much I wish next week's comics...which are going to RULE...we're going to be late. Stupid holidays.

Aliens and Their Schemes: Review of Adventure Comics No. 337, Part 2

*I accidentally published this before it was even started and I'm far too lazy to upload all of these pictures to another post, so enjoy what I've written so far. I'll be hitting 'Publish Post' periodically as I write.

Update: busy week! Christmas parties and other such social engagements, oh my! Plus I seem to have managed to start dating a girl. Never fear, though: it'll be done before Christmas.

Other update: One last push! damn tiredness! Damn crankyness! Do it, Johnathan! Do it for all those kids out there that won't have a proper Christmas unless they know how the middle part of this comic ends and what your thoughts on that are! Get in there and review!

Fourth update: I am a broken man with a full social calender. Looks like this might have to wait another day or so to be finished. Sorry, forks.

Updated update: bah. time to try something new. See the end of the post.

Here I am, back again to discuss the middle portion of Adventure Comics No. 337. As you may recall, when we left the Legion they were agitated over the threat of a possible invasion of the Earth by sickly-looking aliens. Meanwhile, romance was in bloom at Legion HQ and Brainiac 5 wasn't too happy about it. Awright, let's get back to the action! Er, I mean, the adventure!

So, the aliens are all worked up about a secret 'Plan-R' that the Legion claims is a foolproof fail-safe in the event of a war of the worlds or what have you. Since they have all superpowers, the three orange-clad chaps figure that the simplest way to find out what Plan-R is is to grab a Legionnaire and extract the info.


I've got to say: without the yellow skin these guys look a lot like older versions of Eddie Munster. Maybe their planet is like one of those worlds on Star Trek where the whole society is based around a spy novel or gangster films - maybe these guy come from the Munster Planet and the Eddies are the military branch of their society. They should totally be wearing his short-pants getup instead of orange jumpsuits, though.


And that's why Saturn Girl is the Legionnaire not to ambush. She's always able to call for backup - come on, Eddies, do a little research before you set out to kidnap a lady. Didn't Grandpa teach you anything?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if I'm ever knocked out I sincerely hope that I'll have to presence of mind to mutter something about how I'm losing consciousness before I go under. Especially if it's something unlikely, as the more information that you manage to squeeze out before going down for the count, the more points that you get. Xaxan there managed an Analysis of What Hit Me followed by a Double Status Report, which is pretty good if this is his first time.


This panel isn't terribly funny but it's kind of important to the plot, so here it is. Yup. Everyone's looking pretty sharp here - classic costumes, real big forehead on Superboy...

Moving on:


One thing about that old rocket-shaped headquarters: it wasn't very big. You were practically guaranteed a crowd for any important announcements you wanted to make, even if it was mostly male Legionnaires with nothing better to do. Take note: it's not explicit here but that old Legion bylaw about married members getting chucked out on their ears is cropping up. Because there's no room for partnerships in a team, right?

That's actually a really lovely drawing of Phantom Girl. Just sayin' is all.

Legion wedding preparations:


Girls' side first: I think that what Saturn Girl is saying that her crazy, mixed-up planet/moon Titan has the way-out, super-alien tradition of... an official of some sort conducting the ceremony. Uh, wow... that's super crazy and futuristic, Titan. Way to try. I mean, you could have went the same way as the Bismollians and had some sort of talking dog do the deed, but you stuck to your guns. Your incredibly boring, individually-numbered, matte gray guns.

Looking forward to seeing Phantom Girl's dress, though. I hear that it's beautiful.

Boy's side: Jewel Painting, meh. Giant pearls (or possibly giant pears), meh. Wait a second...

INITIATE EMERGENCY MINI-REVIEW

INITIATING...

FUTURE ZOO: REVIEW OF HOUSE PET FROM PLANET KAVOON, BY JOHNATHAN

So all kinds of planets sent wedding presents to Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad, eh? Jewel paintings and giant pearls/pears and, uh, golf trophies, possibly. And then Mon-El shows up on planet Kavoom with his arms full of the jeweléd treasures of the galaxy and - and I'm just guessing here - they collectively go "Oh crap, we knew there was something that we had to do today. Uh, hold on." And then they collectively grab the first thing that they can get their collective hands on, toss it in a sack and send Mon-El packing as quickly as possible.


I don't like the looks of this thing, frankly. It's got creepy ears. It's got to be the Kavoomian equivalent of a sewer rat or something, that or Kavoomites are freaky-ass people. Look at the way it's sizing Lightning Lad up. It's getting ready to either eat him or rob him. No, the House Pet From Planet Kavoom (incidentally, the title of a long-running series of holo-horror films on Kavoom's nearest planetary neighbour) is completely

NOT APPROVED

RESUME MAIN REVIEW

Now, the first time that I read this I missed the comment that Saturn Girl made about wedding wands earlier and I thought that the little action-figures-on-sticks thing was some sort of doofy Legion tradition. Not that that didn't make sense, though, what with the Legion's habit of making new statues of themselves at the drop of a hat. In fact, speaking of hats, I am more than a little surprised that there's not a Silver Age tale in which Superboy shows up in the future only to find all of his pals walking around wearing hats that look like themselves for some Holiday of Tomorrow.

Phantom Girl's dress, by the way? Stunning. It's amazing the effect a veil can have on the outfit that you wear every day. Sheesh. Was she afraid that Ultra Boy wouldn't recognize her without a big 'P' on her chest? Actually... it is Ultra Boy we're talking about here. And the official? Didn't disappoint. Dull as powdered fruit punch.


When I get married/if I ever get married I'm going to try my damnedest to have all of my groomsmen carry a little action figure of themselves on a stick and then present them to me at the end of the reception. This will have two effects: firstly, having a wedding tradition that can be traced to a single issue of a 1960s comic book will firmly cement my position as King of All the Nerds. Secondly, the question of what exactly to do with five or six action figures on sticks with no practical use but high sentimental value will be a recurring theme in my marriage, coming up at least as often as we move or rearrange the furniture. Heck, it might come up in the divorce proceedings.


Here's where we get into the original reason for this interminable review. Switching to Super-Human Detritus mode... now!

So, following the double wedding (and double honeymoon? Scandal!) and subsequent resignation of Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl and Ultra Boy, the Legion finds itself short-handed and sets up a try-out (hooray!)!


This is my favourite thing in the whole comic: that the idea of whole planets dressing in exactly the same clothing had become so accepted in Legion of Super-Heroes comics that the Eddie Munster Squad figured that by turning into three white guys with different hair and clothes no one would ever think to connect them with each other. I bet that there were all kinds of crazy ceremonies and ritual punishments associated with wearing the costume of another world, like how Canadians give a formal spanking to anyone from another country that they catch wearing a toque.

The failing applicants at this try-out are all members of the Legion of Substitute Heroes. My thoughts on this stalwart bunch are detailed elsewhere, so I've omitted most of 'em. As an example, however, I present the panel featuring the love of my life (were I 2-dimensional and nine hundred and some-odd years into the Silver Age DC Universe's future and not in competition with a human magnet and not dating a lovely Nordic lass), Night Girl!


You're a fool, Brainiac 5! A fool!

*ahem*

Moving on yet again:


The aliens-in-disguise show up to show off. First up is Size Lad, who can change the size of things. Hmmm. Um... well, it's a super-power, I guess. Really, though, this guy should be the proud new owner of a Legion Consolation Flight Belt. If my dear Night Girl can't get in, there's no reason that this schmuck should. In what situation (and keep in mind that I will disregard all reasonable suggestions) will this power prove useful to the Legion? Perhaps they will go to the beach and wish to show a little more skin and so ask Size Lad to shrink their bathing suits down for them? Perhaps they'll get an unusually small sandwich at the Food-o-mart? Bah.

Even though he's got an impressive profile, Size Lad is

NOT APPROVED


Well, I can't very well object to Blackout Boy's powers, seeing as how I like Shadow Lass so much. I can, however get all snotty about the fact that after admitting this guy no one from the Legion thought to run out and grab Night Girl. Someone who's super-powers only work in the dark plus someone who makes darkness? Those are what's known as complimentary powers, kids. Grr grr grr. A very spiteful

NOT APPROVED


From what I understand of Magnetic Kid's powers, he's got a pretty limited palatte of solutions to choose from in the event of a problem. Is it time to break up a bar fight? Well, they can't keep fighting if they're in a big pile on top of Magnetic Kid! Fatal Five attacking? Not from on top of Magnetic Kid, they're aren't! Got to stop a giant robot? Don't look at Magnetic Kid, sorry. "Pulling people toward me" really doesn't seem like a Legion-worthy super-power, unless of course they expect to be having a lot of tugs-of-war in the near future.

I do like how he messed with Brainiac 5 there, though. So:

JOHN APPROVED

Well, this isn't working. Much as I hate to bite Blockade Boy's style, the only way that I'm going to finish is by working on a panel or two at a time. Fun!

My behavior: NOT APPROVED

Adventure Comics No. 337: REVIEW DEFERRED