Rating the Super Hunks #23: Hercules

I had planned on rating Thor as a superhunk this week, but my thoughts kept turning to his old sparring partner. And thus I will now call forward the champion of Olympus,

HERCULES

Thirsty?

Costume/Appearance:

His outfit consists of a skirt, a sash, a headband, gold bracelets, a belt, and thigh-high gladiator sandals with studs down the front. Beyonce would look at those shoes and say "those are too much."

I LIKE THE SASH BECAUSE IT IS CONSTRICTIVE AND UNNECESSARY.

There are a few superheroes who choose to work barechested. That's nothing new. But paring the shirtlessness with a scandalously short wrap skirt is a very bold statement for a man to make. Particularly one his age (thousands of years old).

BONDAGE DOESN'T GET MORE MACHO THAN THIS.

From the waist down he looks like a trampy lady, but from the waist up he's all man. And that makes the bottom half manly too.

I approve whole-heartedly of the full beard. If only all men who choose goatees would instead go for this look.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A GOOD EXAMPLE OF HIS BEARD. IT'S TOO STYLED HERE.

Hey, and you know what else? I was into that look he rocked during the Prince of Power mini-series. Sort of a beefier Barry Gibb:

I'M A WOMAN'S MAN, NO TIME TO TALK.

Generally, Hercules is a burly, bulging pile of man. We like that here at the Super Hunk Institute.

9/10

Personality:

He has a big ego. Huge. But, y'know, after thousands of years of being awesome, maybe he's earned that ego.

HE'S TALKING ABOUT HIS WANG.

I actually love Hercules' personality. He loves being Hercules. He loves to fight, he loves to compete, he loves to show off, but he's also got a kind heart. He's a hero, and not just because he can beat the hell out of pretty much anyone without breaking a sweat. He takes care of people, he's a loyal friend, and he's a capable leader. He's chatty, he's funny, and he likes to have a good time. He just generally loves life. You would think that someone who has been around as long as he has would be growing weary, but Hercules is still punching and smiling his way through life.

UPSKIRT!

He's the world's oldest celebrity. I think it's less ego and more giving the fans what they want.

HE'S GOT BITCHES IN THE LIVING ROOM GETTIN' IT ON AND THEY AIN'T LEAVIN' TILL SIX IN THE MORNIN'.

9/10

Sexiness of Superpowers:

Hercules is super strong, fast, agile, and basically immortal and invincible. All that good stuff. Certainly can't fault him in this department.

PLOORGGG!

And, again, not only are his powers great, the fact that he loves using them so much is great.

HERCULES, PUT THOSE WOMEN DOWN. YOU'RE SCARING THEM.

Also, he talks cool.

10/10

WE ARE DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO SEEING HIS JUNK HERE.

Day Job:

Nope. Not for the ol' son of Zeus. Talk about being born with a silver spoon in your mouth! But that doesn't mean he doesn't have hobbies:

SHOW ME THE FOLK SINGER WITH THAT BODY.

Although he doesn't have a proper job, Hercules does spend all of his time hanging out with an orphaned boy genius. I think that earns him some points.

7/10

Cons:

Besides the ego, I would say that he has some definite commitment issues. He loves the ladies, but never for very long.

"YEAH, YOU AND EVERYONE, BITCH."

JEALOUS?

You could argue that he isn't particularly bright, particularly for someone who has been around this long. He also turns to violence as a solution pretty quickly.

I HEAR THAT.

HERCULES DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT NOTHING BUT THE ECSTASY OF BATTLE.

I dunno. I really can't fault this guy too much.

-1

Final Score: 34/40

Dude! That is dangerously close to Winter Soldier's score! Well done, Hercules! You're twice the man Thor will ever be. Jane Foster knows what I'm talking about:

HE ALSO HAS A PERSONALITY. LOCK IT DOWN, JANE.

Have at ME, Hercules!

Superman/Batman Is As Superman/Batman Does.

Superman/Batman is one consistently stupid book. Like its spiritual predecessor, World’s Finest, it teams up DC’s heaviest hitters month after month, and in true Silver Age fashion, there is a bit of an “anything goes” approach, where wild ideas abound but logic is often the first thing to go out the window. It’s a title that began with President Lex Luthor putting a million-dollar bounty on Superman’s head because a Kryptonite asteroid was going to collide with Earth, and became even more idiotic with each successive story. The idea that Superman’s nemesis Metallo had possibly been the real murderer of Thomas and Martha Wayne was raised early on in the series, but never resolved. There have been heartfelt but confusing tributes to the Silver Age, Alan Moore, and, for some reason, various Marvel comics (Luthor as Wolverine? Atomic Skull as Ghost Rider?). The book features a supremely annoying house style of writing where the two leads narrate in hilariously homoerotic tandem, constantly commenting on what the other must be thinking right now. In defiance of all odds, it somehow became even stupider when Jeph Loeb wrapped up his 25-issue arc.

However, I submit to you that, despite all these flaws, Superman/Batman is the most consistently accessible and yes, entertaining, mainstream book featuring these two leads a lot of the time. This comes with a couple of qualifiers—neither Grant Morrison or Geoff Johns can be writing Supes or Bats in another title at the time, which makes for pretty short windows. Also, the art is a huge component of the book’s debatable success. Ed McGuinness or Carlos Pacheco can make Loeb’s foolishness a lot more palatable, for instance, and Rags Morales or Rafael Albuquerque will make the proceedings run a lot more smoothly than, say, Whilce Portacio or Shane Davis. While the storylines are often modern glosses on Silver Age tropes—our heroes get shrunk, or their powers goes crazy, or they meet adorable l’il kid versions of themselves—they are usually fun, dumb adventures that only last a few issues at most. It’s also the most self-contained of the mainstream DCU books—this title does not pause to acknowledge Crises, whether Infinite or Final, nobody’s Battling For The Cowl, and there’s nary a New Krypton to be found in the cosmos.

Take this week’s issue #60, for instance. Current writers Michael Green and Mike Johnson deliver the first of a two-parter called Mash-up that finds Superman and Batman suddenly inhabiting a city called Gothamopolis, where familiar old faces are strangely mixed and matched. For instance, our two confused leads almost immediately run into the Justice Titans, a team made up out of amalgamated JLA and Teen Titans members. Among these weirdos are Night Lantern, Donna Wonder, Star Canary, Flash (‘cause he’s in both teams, get it?), Hawk-Beast, and Aqua-Borg. That’s right, Aqua-Borg. There’s an obligatory misunderstanding and fight scene, but they all eventually put aside their differences and go to the Justice Tower to solve the mystery, where we learn that they’ve been saving the silliest JT member for last; Terranado, a mash-up of Red Tornado and Terra (whose alter ego is Terra Mark V, which is actually kind of clever).

Soon, they’re all off to S.T.A.R.kham Labs (I know, right? Seriously!), where they fight Doomstroke, who it turns out is working for evil genius…Lex Joker. Well, why not, I guess. To be continued.

This is a very silly issue of a very silly book, and yet, it was probably my favourite comic of last week. I honestly don’t want to think too hard about what that means for the state of the industry right now, but there it is. It had the two best superheroes ever confronting a weird mystery, it had a couple of cool fights, and a cliffhanger ending that made we want to learn just what the hell is going on. It also had striking artwork by Francis Manapul (Legion of Super-Heroes), who is trying out a cool new style—very brushy and angular—that is lushly coloured here by Brian Buccellato. Manapul is the artist on the new Adventure Comics title debuting in August, which I am now officially a lot more excited about. For more goodness, check out Manapul's official website. You'll be glad you did.

This may all sound like I’m damning this book with the faintest of praise, but it’s sincere—this comic provided a kind of diverting entertainment you don’t see much of nowadays. You don’t have to know what’s going on in a zillion other books, there isn’t any disturbingly adult content that has no business in a superhero title, and there was something new and ridiculous to capture your attention on practically every page. This, by design or otherwise, seems to be the unofficial mission statement of Superman/Batman. As mission statements—or superhero team-up comics, really—go, you could do worse.
 

Gone Fishin'.

This one goes out to Car Pool Keith, my twice-a-day friend, who has been talking about going fishing since January, who is probably fishing right now and who will likely be talking about fishing until next January. The man knows how to stick with a hobby.

So: we're all familiar with the concept of the comic book character who has hunted all there is to hunt and so must move on to hunting people, or super-heroes, or super-villains. Manhunter, Kraven the Hunter, the Hunter - all of them have a little of the ol' General Zaroff in them. But hunting isn't alone, no sir. The fine sport of fishing has made its impression on the funny books as well.

Now part of me wants to dismiss this as the comic book equivalent of the tendency for comic strips to feature lots of golf jokes. A sort of "write what you know and you'd rather be doing" kind of thing, I guess. But then the part of me that wants this post to have a cohesive theme speaks up and reminds me to say that I now think that it's more like fishing is the stunted little brother of hunting, that it may not have pith helmets and charging rhinos but, by god, it's going to make do with hip waders and wide-legged stances and lots of puns involving the  word hook! Fishing can matter, dammit!

Sometimes, fishing is just a means to an end. Here we have "Crusher" Crock, the Sportsmaster, dressing up like a fisherman in order to steal things. This is his schtick, though - heck, that mask is his only real costume. The next time he appears, he might be a baseball player or a water-skier or a dartsman.

Still, Sportsmaster's bewadered magnificence is imposing enough to dissuade folks from trying to interfere as he hooks him a big one. I think that the potential of fishing is evident:

Here's some fishing froom DC Special No. 13:

The Fishermen of Space are a trio of spectacularly dumb aliens who are gathering specimens of terrestrial life to take back home. They use weird claws for hooks and, because they are big dudes, fish for great big things. Things like buses, or ships:

Or airplanes!

The Fishermen of Space don't even know  that they are fishing for humans, really. They just scoop up the biggest moving things that they can find, and I guess the whales were all astute enough to submerge once the giant claws started dropping from the sky. It is likely that these big dumb alien bozos are representing the sporting nature of the comic book fisherperson, though, if only because I have to assume that if they were scientists they might use a more efficient means of gathering their specimens. No, these guys are almost certainly cracking open a few giant brewskis and telling stories about the Miscellaneous Moving Object That Got Away once they get back to their mothership.

Sometimes, fishing for people becomes a lesson in cruel irony, as in this tale from Strange Adventures No. 21, wherein a young scientist and his wife set out with rod and reel to prove that there are living things of some sort at the bottom of a toxic volcanic lake. In a shocking twist ending, however:

The fisher becomes the fishee! Don't worry, though, he gets away. The poor fish-man is left to live his days in a haze of constant regret:

Note, however, that the fish monster is careful to use a rod and hook when attempting to catch a human. This is very important, and is a bit of a mistake. Humans aren't quite as dumb as fish, after all, and you just can't be certain that they'll manage to impale themselves on any barb that you toss out there, even if you put a hamburger on the end. The Fishermen of Space had the right idea there, what with their claws and all.

No, this fish monster is strictly an amateur, the equivalent of a kid with a bent paperclip tied to a stick with a length of twine. If you want to see some human-fishing fish monsters who have it all figured out, man, you just take a gander at Flash v1 No. 119, wherein the Flash and Elongated Man both get to take a shot at figuring out whatever became of some vanished scuba divers:

In an overly-complicated scheme, the fish-monsters capture the divers, put them in a tank in their underwater city, and fish for them with pieces of meat. As I recall, the one who caught a diver got to use him as slave labour.

Note, however, the specialized human-fishing equipment. You reach for the steak and a noose slips over your wrist - seems a bit more plausible than expecting the ol' hook to work. My main question is where they got that steak. Also, how was the diver going to eat that steak? His whole head is encased in diving apparatus, after all - shouldn't he be trying to get out of the water so that he can beat up the fish-guy and take the meat? Not even the Flash thinks to try that though, or even the radical strategy of reaching around the noose to grab the steak.

But this is all pointless exploration of a very tenuously tied-together bunch of examples without an examination of the pinnacle of the fishing-in-comics characters; fishing's equivalent of Kraven the Hunter and Aquaman's most logical nemesis:

The Fisherman!

The Fisherman just takes his theme and runs with it. He's got the waders and the suspenders and he does everything with his hook. He makes his entrances on giant sea monsters! Heck, when he first appeared he was even more into the whole thing:

He had a cape made out of a net! His little hat (since revealed to be an alien parasite of some kind, which kills one of my jokes) is the same colour as the rest of his costume and makes him look a bit like a lobster! Hell, even the caption-voice calls him "bizarre", which is a pretty tough distinction to achieve as a villain in a 60s DC comic.

Clearly, this is a man who has tasted all that life on the sea has to offer. He has fished everything from the gentle sardine too the majestic basking shark. He has tracked the elusive king krill to its lair and emerged the victor. He has ridden the mighty manta ray and feasted on anenome and scorpion fish and sea squirt. Truely he is the ultimate fisherman. But where to go once you reach the top? What do you fish for once you have fished all of the fish that there are to fish?

Yep, you start fishing for people. Remember how I was talking about how people won't just grab onto a hook, even if you put a something delicious on it? Well that's just the kind of challenge that the Fisherman likes. And if getting to fish for people means that he runs the risk of getting shot four times in the back and killed?

Well, I guess that that's just the final proof that the most dangerous fish of all... is Man.

You Got the Right Stuff, Richie.

In this crappy economic climate, I find it soothing to think back to a more fruitful era, like the 1980s. It seemed possible that we could all someday sleep on a pile of money, since even children like Richie Rich were ridiculously wealthy. Computers were going to solve all of our problems. Soon a pill would be developed to provide us with all our dietary needs. And we could be sure that a certain pop group's star would never stop rising.

Yes, I'm talking about the New Kids on the Block.

But, like a Hypercolor t-shirt, NKOTB did not age so well.

Except Jon. Lookin' fine, Jon. Lookin' eerily similar, in fact.

Anyway, at one point in this magical era, the New Kids on the Block, who were pretty wealthy themselves, met the richest kid around, Richie Rich.

.

Both Richie and the Kids have pretty sweet lives, so this was the crisis for the issue. The New Kids on the Block are lost in Richie's giant, luxorious mansion. What's next? A harrowing issue where Richie has too much ice cream and the New Kids have to help him eat it?

Yup.

Anyway, the gist of the story is that it's Richie's birthday and he wants to go see the New Kids in concert. (Me too, Richie. But the reunion tour isn't coming to Halifax.)  Richie's Dad decides to play a trick on him, and tell him the tickets were sold old, but surprise Richie with having the New Kids play at his party.

It's a "party to end all parties," which is a bit of a tragic title in retrospect, since some of the members of NKOTB almost snorted their way to the big party in the sky.

But at this point, the New Kids are just down to earth Boston boys. They arrive at Richie's place for the birthday party and lose their shit over the size of Richie's mansion. And I have to stress again, that these guys are not doing bad for themselves either. Richie is RICH!

The New Kids are a little slow, which is probably realistic, and can't figure out how to get in.

I'm going to assume that all the punning is also realistic.

From here, they just keep running into crazy crap all over the Rich residence. It's run-of-the-mill rich people's stuff—the Elephant Man's bones and whatnot—until they find one room that holds a fully functioning circus, made entirely of robots.

Weird. Why would the Rich family have these? Secret military weapons? Do they run a nightmare factory? The look on that clown's face is truly terrifying.

I think this is the kind of dark shit that lead to Donnie Wahlberg's role in the Sixth Sense. Remember?

Yeesh.

Luckily, just when things are getting dire, Donnie locates a room-finding computer. Good on ya, Donnie. You'll survive when the rest of the Kids perish. 

But the computer can't decipher their thick Bostonian accents and their rap-influenced dialect. Remember, computers were very literal in the 80s. You were like, "What up, computer?" and they were like, "2.65 meters above me is the ceiling, human."

So the computer sends them to the weather room!

Richie eventually finds the Kids by taking off the removable roof to the mansion and air-lifting them out by helicopter. Clearly using resources where they're needed. So, NKOTB make it to the party.

Well, sure. It's easy to say friendship is more important than money when you're crazy rich. That's the NKOTB manager, Maurice Starr, providing that little platitude by the way.

This moral is slightly cheapened by the ad on the next page.

I hope NKOTB's friendship costs less than $2.99 per minute these days. I'm not sure I can afford that.

This week's haul: Johnathan beat me to a StarCraft Preview Inside joke.

A bit of a light week for me. Here's some of what I bought this week:

Captain America #50

There is a Marcos Martin back-up in this comic that I would have gladly paid $3.99 for on its own. It's a stunning summarization of Captain America's complete story from origin to present. The design is so incredible that it would make Saul Bass cry beautiful, stylish tears.

And the main story is typically awesome as every issue of this series is awesome. Luke Ross and share the art duties. And there's also a two-page Hembeck comic at the back! That's a lot of comic for four bucks!

Uncanny X-Men #510

Every woman has the exact same frigging face!

Wolverine Weapon X #2

Jason Aaron is killing this thing! This comic is giving me everything I want out of a Wolverine comic: unchecked machismo, wit, and claws being poked through bad guys. And also: a gun that shoots bullets filled with cancer.

I loved Aaron's three issue run on Wolverine last year, so I am really happy to see him back writing everyone's favourite grouchy Canadian mutant.

Tiny Titans #16

At free comic book day this year a mom with two young kids was excitedly telling me how much her kids love Tiny Titans, and how she discovered that she enjoyed reading them as much as they did! She told me how gleeful the kids were when they were introduced to the Teeny Tiny Titans. Listening to her rave about this series reassured me that this comic is doing what it is supposed to be doing. Although I have loved it from issue #1, I was worried that it might be more of an adorable inside joke for adult nerds than something that kids would find funny. It's definitely not the case: kids love Tiny Titans. It's very exciting.

The second trade collection of Tiny Titans also came out this week. It makes a great gift for your favourite kid!

Mysterius #5

Johnathan already mentioned it, but I'll go ahead and say it again: Starcraft Preview Inside?! Come on. As if that is worth putting an ugly logo in the middle of a beautiful cover for. Who on Earth is going to buy a comic because it has a preview of another comic in it?  Much less the fifth issue of a series! Best case scenario: they pick up this comic, read the preview, and put it back on the shelf. Argh! So lame.

This series is awesome, by the way, as I keep saying. Everyone should buy every issue of Mysterius.

Johnny Hiro

I bought all the issues of this comic but I also bought this new trade collection of it because:

a) I love this comic. It is hilarious and awesome;

b) This book is beautiful!

The tag for Johnny Hiro is Half Asian, All Hero. That's right: Johnny Hiro was using the Hiro/Hero pun years before Heroes was ever on the air. It is a very funny and action-packed comic written and drawn by Fred Chao. Hiro is a young  man living in New York City and struggling to get by as a busboy. He lives with his Japanese girlfriend, Mayumi, who is a fantastic character with somewhat limited English.

It's, I guess, similar to Scott Pilgrim in that it combines romance and humour with insane crazy action sequences really well. Except with Johnny Hiro, you might actually want to hang out and be friends with the characters. I highly recommend buying this book. It's cheap!

G-Man: Learning to Fly

I definitely approve of Image's decision to release Chris Giarusso's original creation comic, G-Man, in this digest format for kids. We all love Mini Marvels, and this is just as hilarious and adorable. And you don't have to read Marvel cross-over events to get all the jokes!

John Buys **THOUGHTS ON STARCRAFT PREVIEW INSIDE**Comics

Supergirl No. 41

Hey, check out that cover - that’s fantastic! Who drew that… Joshua Middleton, hey? Way to go Joshua! Astonishingly, this cover seems to depict a short woman in a costume fighting a teenager with questionable fashion sense! Supergirl looks like someone who hasn’t stopped growing yet rather than someone who has had multiple rounds of cosmetic enhancement! Hooray, it’s revolutionary! Also: really pretty. This is one of my favourite covers in a long while.

So, as per last issue, Superwoman is Major Lucy Lane but how that came about isn’t really explored. Is it the costume? Is it wacky super-science? Is it some other theory that I’ll stick in the comments? The “Next Issue” blurb promises “Questions and Answers” so we’ll just have to wait and see. As with a lot of DC storylines recently I was kind of leery of this whole Vast Government Conspiracy Against The Super-heroes plot that’s going on in the Superman Family books right now. I mean, that’s a horse that’s been dead since somewhere between Legends and Millennium, and it’s been beaten quite a lot since then, right? Once more, though, my fears have proven groundless. I keep steeling myself for terrible comic-bookery and DC keeps producing decent reads. Heck, Sterling Gates managed to make me feel sympathetic toward both Major and General Lane this issue, and they’re both complete dicks. Even Cat Grant is showing signs of increased humanity, possibly.

Of course, there’s the issue of a storyline entitled “Who is Superwoman?” leaving you not exactly knowing the answer to the question of who Superwoman is but I suppose that there’s nothing in that title that promises a definitive answer to that. Just wait until they publish “At the End of this Story, You Will Conclusively Know the Identity of Superwoman” - then I’ll be watching them like a hawk.

Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance No.1 (of 6)

Okay, here goes. So far, the Final Crisis Aftermath series are starting well: Run is an interesting exploration into the super-villain as self-centred douchebag rather than megalomaniac or insane person, while Escape might just be the right flavour of whacked-out craziness to be a good read (and is evidently based on an idea that Jack Kirby had about a super-hero version of The Prisoner, so the similarities are more apt than I had thought). I know that a first issue is not a series, but I’m actually cautiously optimistic about the whole thing - DC is redeeming itself somewhat for all of the really terrible stuff in the year between 52 and Final Crisis. And the Super Young Team are interesting characters, so that’s another bonus. I’ve read some fairly valid critique of them as reflecting a Western “look at the wacky Japanese” superficiality but… well, if super-heroes were an actual part of day-to-day life I don’t know that there wouldn’t be a group of trendy super-powered dilettantes with crazy-ass names and costumes swanning around the Japanese club scene. I guess I’ll reserve judgment until I see how the rest of Japan makes out. Bah blah blah - let’s read the comic.

Hey, not bad! The theme of Dance seems to be super-hero-as-celebrity vs. super-hero-as-hero, with the Super Young Team being in a transitional state between the two. They were famous for no particular reason before Final Crisis and then they helped to save the world during Final Crisis and now they have a big ol’ contract with endorsement deals and a satellite headquarters and a trophy room full of things that they’ve never seen before. It looks like we’re going to see some compare-and-contrast with Japan’s last big super-team, Big Science Action, as well as a look at some of the after-effects of all that Final Crisis craziness (which is good, because I am really unclear on what those might be). All this plus an unfortunately-themed metahuman antagonist!

As with the other Aftermath series, this was a fine set-up issue. We’ll have to wait and see whether the next five can follow its lead and form a cohesive whole. Cautious Optimism: ON.

Battle for the Cowl No.3

Batman Jones! The kid who was named after Batman and thus became a huge Batman fanboy! Did I miss some earlier return of Batman Jones or did someone set out to dig up the most obscure character ever? Either way: fun revival.

Other than Batman Jones, this was a decent end to the cowl-battlin’ adventures of the Batman Family. We got a new Batman (though I’m not quite certain who that Robin at the end is), we got some setup for future plotlines (and I guess that Homicidal Batman was Jason Todd after all, oops) and we got the Squire sassing Damien a lot. Sadly, unless I managed to miss an issue, we did not get Alfred dressed in commando gear or a crazy-looking Two-Face Batman. Maybe these things are going to happen in the future? But then why stick it on the teaser for the series?

I am going to put Gigantic Disaster in Gotham City on the list of way-overused story elements. Seriously, that town’s been blown up and burned down often enough that there shouldn’t be two stones left on top of one another, let alone lots of vintage Gothic architecture all over the place. Man, given the fact that this is all happening in Comic Book Time, they should still be rebuilding from No Man’s Land. Let’s have Batman versus Criminals for a while instead of Gotham City versus Explosions. Please?

Mysterius the Unfathomable No. 5.

This issue contains: an incredibly creepy cult leader, a trip to Burning Man (well, Blazing Man), super-cool flashbacks and a dramatic reveal. And girls in bikinis, if you like that sort of thing. Man, I would definitely buy a comic based on the early adventures of Mysterius, particularly if they feature lots of crazy magic globe-trotting. Of course now I have to go back and look for things in prior issues of Mysterius, thanks to that dramatic reveal. Curse you, Parker! I’m a busy man, and a lazy one! Your clever writing has inconvenienced me slightly for the last time!

The other special aspect of this issue is a preview for a tepid-looking Starcraft comic, along with a little notice of such slapped just under the title. I know that there’s probably one of these on every Wildstorm book this month, but bleah. Seriously, are many readers of Mysterius the Unfathomable likely to pick up a Starcraft comic based on this preview (assuming that they aren’t also Starcraft fans, I guess)? It’s not like it’s terribly clear what’s going on if you don’t already know the plot, after all. Likewise, is a rabid Starcraft fan going to snatch up issue 5 of some series about a magician just to see what a Firebat looks like in a comic book? Bah, I say.

The Complete Dracula No.1 - This is nice! A pretty darn faithful adaptation of Dracula into comic book form. They tacked the short story "Dracula's Guest" onto the front as a prologue, so at first I, who have never read said story, thought that they were making up new stuff. I like Dracula, so I'll be picking up the rest of these, I think, if only to see how they draw Van Helsing and the bat-Dracula and such. Everything is looking pretty great so far, particularly Harker, Renfield and Dracula himself, who is doing that cool thing where he looks like complete shit at the beginning of the book and gets more presentable as time goes on. And on the cover he looks like Vincent Price!

Invincible No. 61 - This is just as nice-looking as it always was, and it's as fun to read, but as my friend Brad observed, things have changed on the Invincible scene in the last 20 issues or so. Maybe it's just that I read a lot of the earlier stuff in trade form but it seems like the amount of plot per issue is on the wane and the number of characters on the decrease (often violently). Ah well, it's still a good time.

Stephen Colbert’s Tek Jansen No.5 (of 5) - All done. A decent enough series, and I don’t get enough Stephen Colbert in my day-to-day life, but I’m not sure that Tek Jansen on paper measures up to a Tek Jansen voiced by Colbert himself. The main story, wherein Tek fights to stop a war that he is responsible for starting, wraps up nicely in this issue and my favourite lil’ guy Meangarr gets his chance to shine, but as usual I liked the stand-alone tale on the flip side best. Plus: great covers.

Caped No.2 - Augh! My eyes! This was a bit of a jarring experience, I must say. Issue one of this comic introduced Jimmy Lohman, an aspiring reporter who ends up as the personal assistant to a superhero named Edge. There was a neat look at the extensive support structure behind the average super-hero, with budgets and paperwork and crazy crap like that, and I was looking forward to the rest of the series. The storytelling’s gone way downhill with this one, however - it’s like they abandoned any desire to explore the world that they have established and so the story is just whizzing by without a whole lot of context. The story feels about three times as fast and one-third as interesting as it should be. Bah.

The Brave and the Bold No.23 - Eh. This was an okay comic. The problem with The Brave and the Bold is that the first story arc was fantastic and that since then it has been merely all right - it’s suffering by comparison. The specific problem with this issue is that I haven’t been paying attention to Justice Society (for no good reason) and so my knowledge of Magog ends at Kingdom Come. Ah well - there was some word a while back that the Impact characters or the Milestone characters or both were going to be introduced in this one, which might just be worth checking out. Otherwise… my interest has dwindled.