John Buys Comics, Is Heckled.

Bah. My life has become disconcertingly full lately and so *gasp!* I skipped my reviews last week. A quick rundown of some of the highlights:

Red Tornado No. 1 (of 6) – The best thing about the latest iteration of Justice League was the cool character stuff in the first story arc: Dr Impossible and the Solomon Grundy and so on. And the most intriguing bit was T.O. Morrow’s offhand mention of a “Red Inferno”. Never thought I’d hear anything else about that particular character, but I’ve been wrong before: get ready for four times the Reddy! Seems like it should be some self-contained fun – will JUDGE next issue.

T.O. Morrow’s attachment to his prison chair is a thing of beauty, by the way.

Strange Tales No. 1 (of 3) – Marvel equivalent of Bizarro Comics? Paul Pope cover? A She-Hulk story that references The Yellow Wallpaper? The promise of two more issues? How could I not be behind this with all of my tiny heart and withered soul?

Chew No. 4 – I’m not sure what makes me happier: getting to read a super-fun oddball comic like this every month or the fact that the super-fun oddball comic that I like has gotten very popular, which will hopefully ensure that it is around for years to come. This issue: dissolute scientists! A very intriguing cosmic plot development! And of course, more cannibalism!

North 40 No. 3 – The town’s teenage population gets a restructuring as crazy supernatural powers vie with the gifts of puberty as agents of popularity. Good lord I hope this comic has a long, healthy run.

The Last Resort No. 2 – SECOND ISSUE OF JUDGEMENT time! God bless this reviewing thing. If it weren’t for the fact that I sit and think about new comics for a little while after I read them then I might have grumped about how I was having a hard time getting into this particular iteration of the zombie horror comic. Spark a few brain cells, however, and I realize that this isn’t a weird zombie horror comic but rather a cheesy zombie horror film being told in comic form! And I love cheesy horror films! Seriously, this explains a lot about this comic: the particular character types that are being set up for protagonist status, the cute animal companion, the slow monster reveal, the gratuitous boobs… I’m definitely going to check out the rest of these books, especially as I don’t really have anyone to watch cheesy horror movies with right now.

Daring Mystery Comics No. 1 – Phantom Reporter = best Golden Age character since Dr Midnite. Now we need some more Mister Mind Excello.

And that’s last week. This week, a special treat! In anticipation of the eventual LBW “Make Your Significant Other Who Isn’t Terribly Into Comics Review Comics” Week, my SOWITIC, the indomitable Doc Erica, has amused herself by pre-judging my weekly purchases. She has recorded her impressions as a numerical score, so I’ll give you a taste of what she said, along with the total.

Having said that, she wrote nothing about the new Achewood collection Worst Song, Played on Ugliest Guitar, because I was hogging that thing like nobody’s business. I have read a lot of webcomics over the years, my friends, and Achewood is just plain great, the sort of comic that you discover and read through the archives of and then get disappointed when you catch up because you can’t just keep going. Despite being volume 2, this collection starts at the very beginning of Achewood, complete with strip commentary and supplemental material. A highly interesting look at the introduction and development of characters that have been developing for seven or eight years now – a peach of a book, and it includes one of my favourite Achewood strips of all.

The Shield No. 1 

Hey, neat! The series gets off to an intriguing start as the Shield goes looking for missing army guys in the ravaged country of Bialya. This is cool on a couple of levels. First off, it definitely answers my whining about the Red Circle characters not interacting with the DCU very much, as Bialya is a fictional country that has been nearly depopulated by an angry Black Adam and I would call that a pretty firm part of the universe. Secondly, there hasn’t really been too much action in this part of the fictional world since that Four Horsemen series and the exploration of the aftermath of what happened has the potential to be very compelling - Black Adam killed millions of people in a day! What the hell does that do to a country?

I’m not familiar with anybody in the creative team by name (and those names are Eric Trautmann: Writing, Marco Rudy: Pencils, Mick Gray: Inks, Art Lyon: Colours) but I like what I see. Everything looks great, for one, and for another this is a refreshingly cliché-free story so far. I know that it’s just the first issue, but the prospect of reading a story featuring a military-aligned super-hero who doesn’t end up finding out that he is the pawn of a corrupt and well-hidden conspiracy is almost physically exciting to me. This is not any sort of political leaning coming to the fore, I assure you, but rather a heartfelt desire to not read comics whose events I can predict three issues in advance (and then the Shield, despite his misgivings, wipes out the extremists. And then he finds out that they were unarmed and it was just a test of the Sadistic General’s control over him. And then the Sadistic General’s Misguided Patriotic Aide looks resigned and sad). By all means, let’s have some stories about people who are in the army and aren’t de facto villains that isn’t set during WWII.

Not too much to say about the Inferno backup yet – I’ll SECOND ISSUE OF JUDGEMENT it.

ERICA SAYS: First 3 pages: Great artwork: +20pts. Artwork generally very nice even though war stories are very boring to girls like me: +20pts. Looks more boring and less awesome later in story (possibly the Inferno backup – John): -10pts. Total: 30 pts

Red Robin No. 4 – Glad I gave this one a chance. Tim Drake is acting all Dawson’s Creek and irrational, yes, but the longer this series goes on the more it becomes apparent that the character that is running around with the League of Assassins and fighting the Wild Huntsman and so forth is coming from the same place as the kid who figured out who Batman was.

ERICA SAYS: Red Robin is wearing a bathing cap made of black leather: -5 pts. Total: -7 pts.

Secret Six No. 13 – Oh dang! Catman is going to be feeling the sting of moral ambiguity for weeks after all that. I’m still trying to figure out what’s up with the antagonists in this story – you’re building a prison, yes, but what’s with the hairy guy. Ah well, all in good time, I suppose.

ERICA SAYS: Man in short shorts with silly hair who I think is supposed to be sexy or some kind of hero, not a ‘roided out gigolo (Catman? Yeah, he needs a haircut. – John): -10 pts. Total: 29 pts.

Green Lantern Corps No. 40 – Instead of talking about this issue (a fine issue) I shall relate a tale of folly. Way back when, when Larfleeze the Orange Lantern made his first appearance, reader Esther declared that she would be crafting a wee plush Larfleeze for cuddling purposes, and then she DID, and sent me pictures, and it was AWESOME. And I asked if I could put the pictures up the next time Larfleeze made an appearance and she said yes. And then I forgot to put them up a couple of weeks ago when there was a GREAT Larfleeze appearance, so here they are (click on the picture below to go to a page featuring the whole set):

IS HE NOT ADORABLE?

ERICA SAYS: Weird cleavage shot on the first page: -10 pts. Glowy effects: +7 pts. The girl with green lipstick (heart-hungry Black Lantern Jade – John) seems like she might be kind of cool: +2 pts. Total: -6 pts.

Adventure Comics No. 2 – Okay Adventure Comics, here’s the deal: you have one, maybe two issues more for Superboy to get the soap opera aspects of his life sorted out (“Boo hoo I kissed your best friend while you were dead and you’re such a great guy and waaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!”) and then you get on with being the awesome story of small town superhero life with aliens and such. And I will be happy. As for the Legion backup: this is probably going to be awesome.

ERICA SAYS: Cover… so… lame… it hurts: -10 pts. Why does this Cassandra chick have a shiny gold… item… over her very skin tight sweater? Is this some kind of external brassiere? -10 pts. Krypto: -10 pts, but +5 pts for at least being a dog. Total: -30 pts.

Doom Patrol No. 2 – As standard as the “I wish to study you. By the way, that will destroy a lot of you.” motivation of the sentient black hole is, it is a pretty great Doom Patrol villain. I hope it has a good name. Was this supposed to be a SECOND ISSUE OF JUDGEMENT? If so, it passed. The Metal Men feature is floundering a bit, though – Gold’s egomania and Copper’s fawning are falling a bit flat with this guy, as is the “nobody remembers Copper” joke. I swear that Copper was really fun in the miniseries, so why is she boring the hell out of me now? Why is a comic about the METAL MEN boring the hell out of me? Maybe… maybe it’s a one-issue thing?

ERICA SAYS: Lady in red suit has nice hair but sometimes no nose: 0 pts. Total: 0 pts.

The Unwritten No. 5 – You know, I reckon that the first two pages of this issue could have been presented to me without explanation and I would have started reading this series. THIS is the way to exposition! With style, and with Rudyard Kipling (Rudyard Kipling may not be applicable to all storytelling situations).

ERICA SAYS: Cover art: +17 pts. Is that… Albert Einstein? No… wait. Samuel Clemens. Artwork & layout: +10 pts. Not Albert Einstein: -5 pts. Whale: +7 pts. Total: 29 pts.

It's way too late again. Cursed Pirate Girl No. 2 is fantastic. I sleep now.

Forget About WALL STREET, Here's The Real Tale of 80s Greed.

Most cartoon-strip style ads from comics of my youth fill me with a warm feeling of wistful nostalgia. Others, however, made me gnash my teeth with rage even when they were hot off the presses. Take this manipulative turdfest for Atarisoft Games, for example. It all begins innocently enough when towheaded, eager-to-please Maxy invites a few schoolchums over for some friendly video game tomfoolery...

"Madness At Maxy's"? More like "Unappreciative Douchebags at Maxy's". If I had a Leo Sayer perm or a Guy Gardner bowlcut, I might not be so quick to judge others. And check out the Ice Queen! Have some another glass of...I dunno, is that Pepto-Bismol?...and learn some damn manners, young lady! Also, I think Manholes of Venus might actually be one of Dad's, er...private games, Maxy. Better put that one back in his dresser where you found it.

Go eat a bag of dicks, whoever said that! Did you ever consider that maybe Maxy's Dad has other priorities than impressing his kid's rotten classmates? Like, I dunno, keeping Maxy in stripey t-shirts?

Shunned by his peers, Maxy considers putting Dad's pistol in his mouth and ending it all. Instead, he goes for a walk to think of how he can make those awful jerks like him. Luckily, he walks down this particular street:

First of all, what kind of effed-up town has black fire hydrants? Second, that poor dog is so happy because he's thinking, "Hey, maybe this lonely-looking kid would like a new doggy pal! His human pals are obviously a pack of assholes!". Unfortunately, he's shit outta luck, since Maxy has a daring daylight robbery to plan instead. How else would you explain this sad story's conclusion?

Wow, the orange-sweater kid is so excited, he transformed into Harry Osborn! Bowlcut beams with pride, unaware of the awful things Maxy had to do to get his hands on Centipede and Dig Dug. And, where the hell does that girl get off? Does she mean to say that she doesn't have all the latest Atarisoft hits in her household? Heretic! Deceiver! Maxy and his buddies are going to do the Invasion of the Body-Snatchers point-and-scream if they get wind of this information.

I think the thing that has always cheesed me off about this ad is the unabashed, unapologetic, Reaganized consumerism of it. You can just imagine some Madison Avenue sleazeball pitching this after doing a rail of coke in the men's room (I imagine he looks a great deal like Hart Bochner in Die Hard): "Hey everybody, you know how our advertisements always just sort of imply that not owning our products will result in kids being shunned by their peers? Well, how about instead of just implying it, we just come right out and say it! They'll be so terrified not to buy them, they'll pester Mom and Dad right into a third mortgage!"

Screw you, Atarisoft. Screw you, Curly, Bowlcut, and Ponytail. And screw you too, Maxy. Grow a pair, already.

Archie Sunday: Veronica's Got Rubber Band Banks in Her Pockets

There's been a lot of talk about Archie's proposal to Veronica, and most people tend to fall on the pro-Betty side of the debate. And while we all know that pretty much everyone in Riverdale sucks, I think we should consider what it's like to hang out with Veronica. 

Take this little story, for example.

  

And Veronica throws a serious party.

That. Rules.

 

Is that...A WHOLE HAM?!?! AND A TURKEY? What a rad party.

Being friends with Veronica is basically like having T.I. as a pal. When they get married, Archie can have whatever he likes.

The Lazer Tag Files Part 2: A Most Unusual Breed

What I'm trying to get at is that the dog is a complete corporate shill but isn't very good at it.

CONNNNNNNN!

This past weekend, I made a quick trip up to Toronto for the HobbyStar Fan Expo, my first convention in two years. I made a quick appearance at the New York Comicon in February of 2007, but was too excited at the prospect of being in New York for the first time to spend more than Friday afternoon there! I’ve been sort of cooling off on the whole convention tip lately—two San Diego trips will do that to you—but for whatever reason, I felt like throwing myself back into the game for one last score. Well, probably not last, but whatever. Turns out there were a lot of Canadian artists whose work I dig attending the show this year, guys like Cameron Stewart, Francis Manapul, and the Immonens, Kathryn and Stuart. The comic stuff is a draw, obviously, but the show’s horror component, the Festival of Fear, caught my attention—this year promised both Roger Corman and Tom Savini! Exciting stuff, and yes, I’m a giant nerd. Anyway, the good folks at Porter Air got me there safe and on time, with free beer on the flight to boot, and it was game time.

Friday morning brought swift disappointment, however, as I learned of Tom Savini’s last-minute cancellation. I brought my four-disc Dawn of the Dead DVD set for nothing! So it goes, I guess. The doors opened Friday afternoon and the craziness began. I had no idea how big this convention had gotten—it looked like it had tripled or quadrupled in size since the last Fan Expo I attended, which I think would have been 2002. I heard overall attendance was up by 23% this year. In any event, the joint was packed with vendors, exhibitors, artists, and celebrities. Like the guy who played the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld, for some reason! I may mock, but dude always had somebody at his table. People went all out with the costumes this year, too. I got a taste of it on Friday, but Saturday would really kick it into high gear. Other than a few t-shirts, the only stuff I bought the first day was from Montreal-based artist Cameron Stewart (Seaguy, Apocalypstix). I couldn’t pass up the gorgeous art book he was selling (available at his website for a mere $20—a steal!), especially not when, for an extra $20, he’d do a sketch in it. Hence this radical Seaguy head shot:

We chatted a bit while he drew, mostly about legendary Mad cartoonist Mort Drucker and a very exciting, top-secret project he’s doing that should be announced any day now. Since Tiina was minding my cat Jones for me, I also grabbed a dope Catwoman print as a thank-you gift.

I also got my first taste of the costume craziness that the next day would bring.

C'mon, Black Bolt! Kudos for picking an obscure costume, but you gotta sell that shit! Get into character!

Deadpool was a favourite costume at this show. Not quite as many of them as there were Rorschachs and Heath Ledger Jokers, but pretty close.

Saturday at the show was bonkers. Some of the show’s organizational problems became apparent, as the lobby of the Metro Toronto Convention Centre was jammed up with a huge lineup of people who had no idea where they were going or what they were doing. Some of them already had their badges, some of them where waiting to get ‘em, and there were no Expo volunteers or employees around to tell anyone anything. Since this line did not appear to be going anywhere and I already had my badge, I left the Centre and found an alternate means of egress up by the C.N. Tower entrance. The line here was chugging right along, and I got into Day Two in no time. First up, Francis Manapul (Superman/Batman, Adventure Comics) was selling his hardcover art book with the option to get a sketch with it, so I asked for Brainiac when I bought mine. Check out this craziness…

Writer Kathryn Immonen (Runaways, Hellcat) and her husband Stuart (artist on New Avengers, Nextwave) were also in attendance. I scored a hardcover copy of the collection of their webcomic, Never As Bad As You Think, as well as Stuart’s latest Centifolia art collection, The Ladies’ Auxiliary Guild. Check them out on the web here, you'll be glad you did. I also bought a Flash print from Karl Kerschl (currently rocking the amazing Flash strip in Wednesday Comics, easily one of the best strips in the series) and a Daredevil print from Mike Cho (whose gorgeous artwork can be seen in the current issue of Illo magazine, as well as the Max Finder Mysteries books and The Age of the Sentry miniseries). Also, more convention attendees means way more costumes!

"Please, folks! Step back! I'm trying to transform myself into a productive member of society!"

Wow. No wonder Booster Gold was always hanging around.

There were nearly as many Deadpools as there are Deadpool titles on the rack right now.

These ladies definitely had their phasers set to fabulous.

The light cycle from the new Tron movie was there. Apparently, a lot of people are very excited about this. Me, I prefer The Last Starfighter.

I can't decide if these costumes are "charmingly handmade" or "intentionally crappy", but I love them either way.

And then there's this. We saw this on our way out on Saturday. I have no idea what was going on, but it was impressive.

That is one wrinkly turtle.

The final day of the convention is always a bit of a drag—you’re tired, you’re out of money, and you’re sick of elbowing other nerds out of the way. I didn’t buy much of anything on Sunday, just another t-shirt and a DC Direct figure of the Composite Superman—one of my most favourite ridiculous Silver Age creations, who I really have to do a blog post about one of these days. By the final day, I was resigned to the fact that I wasn’t going to bother getting any autographs from any of the horror/sci-fi guests, like Leonard Nimoy, Billy Dee Williams, Mary McDonnell, or Roger Corman. Their lines were too long, a signature could run you as much as $60 a pop, and I’d rather spend my money in Artist’s Alley anyway. I still would have shelled out for Savini, though, had he showed.

All in all, it was a fun weekend, but it’s most definitely all the convention I need for quite some time. Big thanks to Sean Jordan, AKA the Wordburglar, for letting me crash on his couch, fellow convention goers Andrew Bartlett and Matt Morgan for hanging out on Friday before the doors opened (Matt’s first convention! He’s a big boy now), and my old buddy and super-talented illustrator Eric Orchard for joining me for coffee and fresh air breaks when needed (check out his work at his blog). One final note, I bumped into DC head honcho Dan Didio at the Porter Air terminal on the way home and, in the interest of shameless self-promotion, I gave him one of my minicomics to read on the plane ride home. Clearly, this can only lead to one thing—a greenlight for my Composite Superman hardcover graphic novel idea! Well, a guy can dream.

Hipless in Halifax

A cool indie comics publisher called Conudrum Press has recently moved to near-by Wolfville, Nova Scotia. With our pals, Invisisible Publishing putting out Mike Holmes's book, Darwyn Cooke and Steven McNiven living here, and all the wicked shit Strange Adventures does, Halifax is becoming the Portland, Oregon of Canada. Now all we need is a weather machine to lengthen our eight week summer.

Conundrum publishes all sorts of cool indie stuff for whiny indie babies like myself. The Hipless Boy, due out super soon, is a gorgeous collection of inter-connected stories about a young man named Sully, who lives in an arty neighbourhood in Montreal. His stories of black outs, art shows, crossing-dressing, and shitting on someone's doorstep as revenge, are beautifully rendered with clean black and white lines. The book is semi-autobiographical, but the author, also named Sully, doesn't allow it to become self-indulgent or rambling. It's more snapshots of moments in the lives of young urban adults—moments that are familiar but still fresh.

The real strength of The Hipless Boy is that Sully can really write. A page of prose opens each chapter, and they really enhance the comic. Unlike that prose issue of Batman that Morrison wrote, I actually read this. Sully has the ability to construct a story that's serious, but luminous, funny and current, but totally unpretentious.

I've already heard Sully compared to Tomine, and Craig Thompson, but I think these comparisons obscure that The Hipless Boy is more on the silly and sexy side of comics. Sully's comics make you want to burst into the world, and do something crazy, which is a pretty rare feat for indie comics.

But it's not just in his words—Sully tells a great story with images too. There's a great text-less story in which Sully chokes on a gobstopper while on a movie date. I'll leave you a little excerpt.