Rating the Super Hunks #8: Wally West

I was biking all day and now it hurts to sit down. But I will suffer through it because it is Tuesday and that means:

a) New comics tomorrow!
b) Time to rate a super hunk!

I got some requests for this one. The fastest hunk alive,

Wally West, aka The Flash

Costume/Appearance: The Flash suit has always been one of my favourite superhero costumes, with its crimson and gold colour combo and lightning bolt details. Plus, it's very tight and leaves nothing to the imagination.

Wally basically took Barry's costume, which was great, and eventually made small alterations that made it just a little bit cooler. The two diagonal lightning bolts that meet in the middle is a much more flattering look than the straight across belt that Barry rocked. And removing the wings from the boots is a step in the right direction. Also, those big yellow boots are awesome.

I'm going to go on record right now and say that I don't like the shiny suit. You can wear a bright red hooded leotard with lightning bolts sticking out of the sides of your head, but you start making that shit shiny and it's just tacky. The little ear decorations should be metal, and the rest should be matte. That's a nice-looking costume.

I actually don't know how sexy the Wally West Flash costume is, really. I mean, it's got Jay Garrick's beat by a country mile, but still...

Yeah. It's pretty good. You have to be pretty damn fit to wear that thing and make it not look ridiculous.

Without the costume, Wally is reasonably good-looking. He gets my vote for sexiest Flash. He's also one of the few red-headed heroes. He's got nice enough features. Green eyes, good jaw line. Whatever. He's no Bruce Wayne. His head is kinda small for his body.


Personality: This section used to be called Alter-Ego, but some heroes don't have one. 'Personality' is more inclusive.

Wally took on the mantle of The Flash when he was about 20 years old, so he's always had a young, boyish charm thing going for him. In the Flash comics, he's a bit of a smart ass, but nothing compared to the way he's portrayed in the Justice League cartoons and related comics.

To be honest, I always found Wally to be kind of boring. I like his friends more. He's just your typical nice guy who's good to his mother, married a nice girl, had a couple of kids, and vibrated at the same speed as the Speed Force or something to stop Superboy and help save the world before disappearing to an alternate Earth. Nothing really to write home about.

It should be noted, though, that Wally has gotten a lot of action in the comics. And by that, I mean sexy action. Dude has been around.


Day Job: He doesn't really have one, except when he lost his memory and was an auto mechanic for the KCPD. Auto mechanics are pretty macho. I like that he won the lottery once. That kept him comfortable for awhile.

This guy has gotten struck by lightning and has won the lottery. Jesus.


Sexiness of Powers: He's really, really fast. Is that sexy? It's actually kind of freaky.

I guess it keeps him happy. And it's hotter than, say, not having super speed.


Cons: Wally can be a real dick sometimes. Like when poor Kyle became the new Lantern. He was also kind of a punk kid, but who wasn't, really? I can't hold that against him.

But I am holding the treatment of Kyle against him. Stupid Wally.

OH, and how about losing ALL of your lottery winnings in the stock market, Wally? Not cool.

- 3

Final Score: 25/40

Wally got 7/10 across the board, and I think that makes sense. He's a solid 7. Nothing to be ashamed about.