John Weighs in on the X-Men DVD Thing

Well, Rachelle pretty much nailed it on her review, so I'll keep this brief. Yes, these cartoons were terrible. The voice acting was basically bad, bad, bad (with some exceptions - Apocalypse was terrific), the animation was cheap, etc, etc. BUT. there are still some reasons to think about getting this collection:

1. The possibility of special prizes. The copy that we received contained, in lieu of Volume 1, Disc 1, the Leonardo DiCaprio film Catch Me if You Can. Maybe you'll get a Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVD, or a slice of dried bologna or anything! It's like gambling!

2. Drinking games. Every time they reuse footage or dialogue, take a shot. Every time Professor X zooms into frame at an unsafe speed, take a shot. Every time something MAKES NO SENSE, take a shot. You will require about one episode per party.

3. Canadian pride (assumes that you are Canadian). Watch the episode with Alpha Flight and take pride in knowing that our national super-hero, the Vindicator, is so concerned with duty that he is willing to confiscate his best friend's skeleton for the good of his country/the military conspiracy that he works for. I felt so filled with national pride that I immediately confiscated some of Rachelle's ribs. Also, once more: suck it, other national conspiracies.

4. MST3K fun. If you watch bad movies specifically for the purpose of mocking them you will have fun with this. We burnt out after four or five episodes, though.

5. Academic interest. Watch and consider the political or practical considerations behind each nonsensical decision: why does Cable have a black starburst around his (intact) eye? Are scars hard to animate or did the writers/animators believe that children shouldn't know about eye-scarification, in case they might try to it themselves (to look cool, like Cable)? What about that hover-wheelchair? Was regular chair-wheeling too intricate an animation? Was it a plot hook that never got used, like Moira McTaggart's Irish accent? I swear that I could write five papers on this stuff.

6. PYRO AND AVALANCHE. They only show up every few episodes but these two are the very best thing about this show. Pyro is an Australo-Cockney skinny-boy and Avalanche is a big dumb dope who sounds like he maybe got his powers by being beat repeatedly about the head with a pipe. Nothing ever goes right for them - they try to hit on a chick in a bar and it turns out to be Rogue, who beats them silly. They kidnap a scientist and it turns out to be their boss Mystique in disguise. They are the ultimate sad sacks. I want to pitch The Misadventures of Pyro and Avalanche to Adult Swim. Rachelle's suggestion, Pyro and Avalanche in: Gettin' the Blob Laid also has merit, maybe as a movie spin-off.

In any case, you already know if you're going to buy this thing or not. It's exactly like you remember it, trust me.

Oops, now I've got to write my Saturday post. Bye!