You knew this one was coming. This week Super Hunk theatre presents the pin-up pretty boy of the DCU...
Dick Grayson, aka Nightwing
Little Dick Grayson. He grew up. He filled out. He got hot...eventually.
The current Nightwing costume is great. Really nice-looking. Nice colours, nice lines, nice fit. Also, great hair. I have no complaints about the current Nightwing costume. Or the appearance of the man filling it.
But we can't ignore the fact that it took Dick a loooong time to get there. And we had to see some pretty disgusting incarnations of Nightwing first.
Alright, that last one wasn't technically a Nightwing costume, but Jesus. If you can stand it, take some time to really study that thing. You'll notice that, as well as high-waisted baggy jeans, a short-sleeve polka-dot Oxford, Achy Breaky hair and intensely hairy arms, Dick is wearing loafers with no socks. You can stand in front of all the Ferraris you want and you will never look good wearing that.
I also abhor that long, disgusting rat-tail thing that Dick was rocking for awhile. It's so gross. It's like a serpent. I also never understood why it was way longer than his hair was when it wasn't pulled back. *shudder*
But if we focus on the now, and ignore the past, Dick is a looker.
I'm not sure how to put this lightly, but Dick Grayson is kinda...dumb. Or, if not dumb, he is lacking common sense. And he thinks with his manhood more than his brain, rivaling even Hal Jordan in this department (uh, the thinking part...I don't know about the manhood part). For a kid who grew up under the constant watch and teachings of Batman, Dick is a bit of a disappointment. I mean, he's a good leader and strategist, but overall...
On the positive side, Dick still retains a lot of the playful boyishness that we knew and loved in him as Robin. Again, considering his being raised by Bruce Wayne, having any kind of sense of humour is impressive. And he's, y'know, a nice guy who wants to help people.
Remember when he was partnered with that gay cop, and the other mean cops were beating up the gay cop, and Dick intervened? And when the mean cops asked Dick if he was his boyfriend or something, Dick said "What if I am?" That was nice. He gets a point for that.
I like Dick Grayson. I like him a lot. But he ain't no Tim Drake. And he is certainly these two things:
He gets a lot of play. A LOT of play:
Even when he looks like this:
Dude, we're just as surprised as you are.
The fact that Nightwing is one of the most sexually active superheroes out there certainly earns him some points in the hunk department. And the fact that I can now look at him without throwing up certainly helps. He's not...great...with women. But look at who he had as a teacher.
Dick Grayson was a City of Blundhaven police officer. I think that's awesome. That means when he's not fighting crime...he's fighting crime.
But now he's just Nightwing. Oh...he runs a circus school. That's...not really all that sexy.
Sexiness of Powers:
Dick has no powers, but he was trained by Batman. And, before that, he was trained as one of the top circus acrobats in the world. The result is that he rules at fighting, and can do crazy aerial stunts. He's strong and graceful. Of course that's sexy.
Plus, he's apparently the only person in the world who can do a quadruple somersault.
Dick Grayson's name is 'Dick.' I'm taking one point off for that. I'm also deducting points for his tendency to grow his hair badly, the fact that his comic is pretty boring, and for jerking Barbara Gordon around.
Final Score: 29/40
He's sexy alright, but he'll always just be sidekick sexy. Plus, Tim Drake is going to grow up to look exactly like him, but way more awesome. Why have hamburger when you can wait a few years for steak?