My new comics were delayed until today because of St Jean Baptiste Day in Quebec. Stupid Quebec. So to fill the void, I give you one of the greatest comics ever...
So our story starts with Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson getting ready for a costume party (oh, Silver Age. How I love you and your daily masquerade balls).
Bruce Wayne has a secret...a creepy secret:
I love his Bluebeard-style forbidden room that's full of mannequins and gifts. I love that he bought her a tiara...and shoes. In fact, there is nothing about this room that screams "straight" to me. "Oh I just buy pretty gowns and jewels and furs...for Lois. I'll never give them to her, but I assure you, they are for her and I do not just routinely go shopping for women's clothing and accessories and come in here and try them on."
Ok, so we've established that Bruce Wayne is even crazier than we thought he was. Let's move on to that costume ball.
Lois is at the party as Joan of Arc. And she actually brings a horse with her as part of the costume. Because she's stupid. Of course, the horse gets spooked. Bruce Wayne to the rescue!
Lois must have spent a fortune on that horse armor.
So Superman shows up with Wonder Woman after some sort of mission, and Lois gets all angry when he says they have to leave again for another crisis.
Bruce Wayne was never one to miss an opportunity:
Bruce and Lois continue courting...with sexy results (this is where I get really jealous):
So now they're engaged, and Bruce decides to break the news to his best buddy Superman. The entire next page is AMAZING:
Holy smokes. First of all...does anyone not have a creepy shrine devoted to Lois? Secondly...Superman is smashing that bust of Lois in the face with his fist! I'm terrified! And the sobbing! Oh, Superman, pull yourself together. After all....you have a wedding to go to:
Lois, by the way, does not know that Bruce Wayne = Batman. That's a little something Bruce likes to pull out for the wedding night:
The thing I really like about all of this is how happy Lois is. She's such a superhero fangirl. Bruce Wayne was a pretty good husband...but Batman?! Outstanding!
Superman isn't the only one who's jealous:
Eventually Bruce Jr is born, which Robin is also not too happy about:
The purpose is to train the toddler as a crimefighter. I'm serious. If you weren't already concerned about Batman's sanity and his tendency to place minors in harm's way, you should be now.
Robin is stone pissed about turning the duo into a trio, until Batman asks him to be the kid's teacher:
In that second panel I love the giant close-up of Batman's nose, and Robin saying "It swings!"
Things start to go wrong in the second half of the story. Lois gets kidnapped and nearly driven mad by crooks who want to know Batman's secret identity. I just think this next set of panels is awesome-looking:
The story continues in a direction that I cannot possibly explain. Just to give you some idea of how far off the rails it gets, this is a later panel: