It's a Quiz: Are You a Nineties Super-Hero?

Nineties Week continues! Today we have a quiz for all of you out there who aren't sure whether you're a Nineties super-hero or not. Well, stop your worrying because Living Between Wednesdays is here to set you straight! Helping us out today are the stars of the 1993 DC event Bloodlines, famed for introducing such well-loved characters as Hitman and... Hitman! Keep on plugging, you crazy diamonds!

I briefly considered getting all fancy and having radio buttons and check boxes and a tally and so forth but laziness won out. So have a pencil and paper handy and remember to ask your parents before doing math by yourself. PRO TIP:  this quiz can also be used to determine if someone else is a Nineties super-hero. Just change the pronouns!


Are you so edgy and grim that you have no social skills whatsoever? Do you alienate and anger all around you? Are you, in short, a big jerk? Give yourself five points for each of the following situations that would elicit a rude, angry or sarcastic response from you, every single time:

- Someone asks you for help.

- Someone offers you help.

- Someone expresses concern or another feeling toward you.

- Someone asks you a question.

- Someone says or does anything while you are present.

Part 2 - POWERS

a. Are your powers completely generic, only with lots of crazy pyrotechnics? (If yes, add five points)

b. Can one of your powers be described as "I have a knife"? (Five points)

i. Is it a lot of knives? (One point per knife)

ii. Are there a lot of crazy pyrotechnics? (One point)








c. Can one of your powers be described as "I have a gun"? (Five points)

i. Is is a big gun? (One point if your answer is "Big", three for "Ridiculously big" and five for "It's essentially a small artillery piece"

ii. Are there a lot of guns? (One point for each additional gun)

iii. Does the gun resemble no actual firearm in any way? (One point)

iv. Are there lots of crazy pyrotechnics? (One point)

d. Are your powers totally gross? (Five points)


a. Does your costume include shoulder pads? (Two points)

i. Do they extend past the reach of your actual shoulders? (Two points)






b. Does your costume consist wholly or in part of ripped street clothing? (One point)







c. Do any ties or the like on your costume have roughly one to two metres of extraneous trailing fabric? If you wear a cape, does it extend further than mid-calf? (Two points)




d. Do you have one of these face-framing numbers? (Five points)

i. Add two points if you don’t wear a mask with it.






e. Count how many pouches you have on your person. Give yourself a point for each one.

i. Subtract a point for each pouch that you have ever actually removed an item from or placed an item in.









f. Count how many spikes you have on your person. Give yourself a point for each one.

i. Subtract a point for every spike that serves some purpose beyond looking “cool” (e.g., is used offensively on a regular basis).

ii. Add a point for each spike that hinders your day-to-day activities (e.g., makes it harder to pass through doorways, is likely to stab you in the head if you nod off in costume, etc.).


g. Is your costume primarily black, silver, purple or red? (Two points)

h. Do your off-duty clothes resemble something fished out of the dumpster behind the Beverly Hills 90210 recording studios? (Five points)






Part 4 – NAME

a. Is your name a compound word? (Five points)

b. Does your name contain any of the following:

- Words related to death, dying or killing (Five points each)

- The name of a weapon, part of a weapon or action that you perform with a weapon (e.g., slice, shot, stab) (Five points each)

- Words related to blood, darkness, metal or fire (Five points each)

- Words relating to hitting (Two points each)

- The words hawk, cat or beast (Two points each)


a. Do you have unfortunate hair? (Two points)

i. Add five points if it is a mullet or rat-tail.



b. Are you dead (Ten points) or presumed dead? (Five points)

Part 6 – SCORING

Okay, do you have your points tallied? Let’s see if you are a Nineties super-hero:

Score: 0-15 Verdict: Not a Nineties super-hero

Don’t worry, you’re okay. Whether you were created in the Nineties or not you seem to have avoided the decade’s malign influence. Give yourself a pat on the back and don’t worry about stabbing yourself in the hand.

Score: 16-25 Verdict: A little Nineties

You’ve probably gritted your teeth on a chromium cover or two. Don’t worry, though, the Nineties haven’t influenced you enough that the trend is irreversible – just think long and hard about whether you need that belt of pouches around your bicep and consider changing your name from Bloodkill to something a bit more friendly.

Score: 26-45 Verdict: Firmly Nineties

If you’re not holding a gigantic gun in each hand with your mouth open in a battle-scream with ropes of saliva connecting your upper and lower rows of teeth then you’re probably running in an anatomically-unlikely manner whilst throwing several knives and venting plasma from your eye sockets. Either way, you’re pretty damn Nineties.

Score: 46-60 Verdict: So, so Nineties

If you’re not dead yet then you’ve got a big surprise waiting for you at the next big crossover.

Score: 60+ Verdict: More Nineties than the year 1995.

If you exist outside of a page in a Todd McFarlane/Rob Liefeld joint sketchbook, I’m surprised. A spiked pouch is probably restricting your ability to breathe just now. Dislodge it with a knife-gun!

This post brought to you by the Society for the Promotion of Terrorsmith

Terrorsmith: because the world needs more sad sack would-be super-villains who just can't do anything right. And make monsters.