It's Johnstravaganza Time Again!

Yes, time has marched on and John has grown just a little bit older, with a bit more junk in the trunk (er, forward-mounted, European-style trunk) and presumably a greater tendency for aching bones on cold Winter mornings, though that last one is hard to confirm as It is currently murderously hot here. Cantankerousness levels are definitely rising though.

As with last year, I have looked back at the past to see just what was going on in comics on the day of my glorious Johnativity. There was no end to the celebrating!


Cue musical back-up: The Amazing Jor-El and his Giant Floating Harmonica!

Bring out the entertainment! First, the strongman!

Bring out the Amazing Comedy Stylings of the Batman!

Followed by the even more crown-pleasing Shirtlessness of the Batman!

How about some presents? Super Friends, did I hear you say that you had a selection of themed henchmen to delight my just-barely-Gen X love of pop-culture folderol?

The Matador Mob? Delightful! And what's this?

You know, I went three decades without knowing that I was missing something. Now that you've shown me that Chronos once employed three bumbling henchmen named Hour Hand, Minute Hand and Second Hand, well... I feel complete.

In a similar move, Superman has brought forth the Orbitrons, possibly the most adorable of all Hostess Twinkie distractees.



Keep on caving in to kidnappers' demands, Superman - you know what's right.

Oh, and Judge Dredd claims to have one final, secret present for me. What ever could it be?

Uh... thank you for the lovely vest. I'll treasure it, I'm sure. Tell you what, you put it over there and we'll watch the dancing girl that you've arranged. I must say, I never really expected something like this, especially from you. Oh, here she comes!


 You've made me sad, Judge Dredd. You've ruined my birthday. 

 Well, until next year, I remain,