Things That Frightened Me as a Child, Part 2


I guess that that's not too weird though, is it? Guess I'll elaborate, then.

It's not that I saw the movie Gremlins and got freaked out - heck, it probably would have been better if I had. I watched quite a few movies that were as or more scary than that at a tender age and emerged unscarred, and seeing the ease with which one could defeat a Gremlin with the humble household microwave would have done me a world of good. Problem was that my only actual exposure to Gremlins in any form was through one of those book-and-cassette combos that you don't see any more and that my teacher would occasionally employ while teaching us to read. Man, something about that thing terrified me, to the extent that I wouldn't even listen to it in class (again, big mistake. The things were probably even easier to defeat in a twenty-page booklet). I spent literally years concerned about Gremlins swarming outside of my bedroom window. Not actually doing anything, though, just generally cavorting. It's hard to remember my childish reasoning but I think that I was concerned that they would... come inside to cavort? Logic, thy name is not L'il Johnathan.

So I guess the moral of the story is that you should force your children to watch as many scary movies as possible, to keep them from being afraid of the dark.