Don’t Worry. DC has a plan.

In an effort to get the internet to ignore the fact that they lost the opening date battle of Captain America vs Superman vs Batman: The Dawn of Justice, DC unveiled their movie schedule for the next bunch of years. And the internet exploded with apathy.

Untitled DC Film – 08/05/16

Untitled DC Film – 06/23/17

Untitled DC Film – 11/17/17

Untitled DC Film – 03/23/18

Untitled DC Film – 07/27/18

Untitled DC Film – 04/05/19

Untitled DC Film – 06/14/19

Untitled DC Film – 04/03/20

Untitled DC Film – 06/19/20

Oh man, I cannot wait to drag my 40-year-old ass to that 2020 Untitled DC Film. So here are my predictions:

08/05/16: The darkest, grittiest Shazam! you’ve never even dared to imagine!

06/23/17: A Justice League movie with a guest appearance by Wonder Woman!

11/17/17: Fuck it, Here’s That Aquaman You People Keep Jokingly Asking For

03/23/18: A Very Disappointing Sandman Movie

07/27/18: How Else Can We Anger Alan Moore? A Top Ten Movie? Watchmen 2? Sure.

07/04/05: Batman Begins Again!

04/05/19: Death of Superman, of course

06/14/19: Batman Vs The Death of Superman

04/03/20: Superman Returns Again!

06/19/20: Zack Snyder Presents: 300 vs The Justice League vs The Watchmen

It’s also worth noting that DC’s official movie site is out-of-date and does not even mention any upcoming movies. GUYS!