Dammit, I’m writing this on Calling Birds but I’m only up to Turtledoves (Augh! I was away from the internet again! It's Golden Rings!). Have to pick up the pace, Johnathan, or those Lords’ll be a-leaping sometime in February.

Continuing with Adventure Comics No. 289, today we answer the pressing question: what do super-heroes get each other for Christmas? (tangential observation: Red Tornado giving Batman a “World’s Greatest Detective” mug in the latest episode of The Brave and the Bold? Utterly adorable. That series is nothing but JOHN APPROVED)

Man, I don’t know how I feel about those pictures. I have some experience with that type of gift, and it is a super thoughtful/heart-warming thing to receive, but… there is absolutely no doubt that the implications of that time scope are profoundly creepy. I mean, think about what you did this morning. Now, think about a good friend of yours watching you do what you did this morning, with you all unaware. Gives me the shivers.

NOT APPROVED

So what do the Super-Cousins come up with to top that eerily thoughtful gift? Time-scope images of each Legionnaire’s death, maybe? Drawings of what they think everyone looks like in the shower, perhaps?

Flight belts! This is a good gift! So good, in fact, that it travels back in time - the teen Legion are using them in their next appearance and the poor Substitute Heroes have to make do with them for about twenty years after everyone else gets fancy-pants flight rings.