Review of kid sidekicks, by Johnathan

I'm not totally opposed to the notion of youthful sidekicks for superheros - the Robin series has turned out okay (except for the *ahem* unpleasantness with Jason Todd), and I'm sure that I could think up another if I spent a few seconds... Speedy. He's okay. Except for the smack.
Anyway, if you do happen to begin adventuring with a coyly elfen boy-child, and your collective weakness just happens to be a phisiological need for regular moistening, and you are required to avail youself of the milky bounty of a mountain goat or die... try not to make it lok like you're grimly shooting hircine ejaculate into the gleeful face of your hot pants-clad boy toy. Because that's gross.