This Week's Haul: The Sexiest Week Ever

So many Batmans this week. Adorable Batman. Horny Batman. Retro Dickweed Batman. Loving Father Figure Batman. Grumpy Wedding Invite Decliner Batman.

There were other characters too. But mostly Batman.

It's a sexy week for comics all around. Let's have a look:

Catwoman #71

Rachelle cannot come to the phone right now because she has MELTED INTO A PUDDLE OF GOO after reading this comic.

Behold Batman holding Helena:

Ok, I try not to be, like, a girl, but I just really lose it over Batman and Catwoman. I want them to be together forever.

And then...Selina asks Bruce to help her "kill" herself and her daughter so bad guys will stop going after her. So they come up with this crazy scenario where Bruce dresses up like a crazed suicide bomber:

He blows the three of them up, or so it seems, and Catwoman is free to start a new life. Which we'll see starting in the next issue, but I assume involves the Outsiders. I hope it involves Bruce Wayne, but that's me being a girl again. She's the only woman I'll accept as Batman's lady...except me.

Superman/Batman #40

Bitch, you best back off.

I do not know much about Bekka, other than:

a) she is Orion's wife and a New God;
b) she is a giant ho.

While I appreciated the amount of naked Batman in this issue, I did not appreciate Little Miss No-Pants pawing him:

Nor did I appreciate how into it Bruce was:

Oh what, Bruce? You've never seen a woman wearing nothing but a dish towel over her ass before?

She's such a skank. Look at how she prays:

Anyway, Miss Thang and Batman have to do something or other together. I was trying to focus on something other than wanting to smack Bekka down, but Batman was not helping:

What sorcery are you using on my poor Batman, witch?!


Birds of Prey #110

Huntress is awesome. And so is Tony Bedard.

Robin #166

And now a public service announcement from Robin:

The more you know, kids!

This whole page was very cute...Bruce has been all cranky about Tim wanting to join the school tennis team. Which, I gotta say, is pretty obnoxious of Bruce.
Good for you, Tim! Stand up to him!

Captain America #30

My monthly hit of my delicious Winter Soldier.

I love you, baby.

But wait! What's this?

He can be shut down just by saying a single word? Don't we wish all men could have that feature? Am I right, ladies? Holla!

Tony Stark is being all emo:

Tony, you have to do what makes you happy.

Meanwhile, Sharon's complicated life doesn't get any easier:

Cue soap opera music!

Oh, girl. You have to have Captain America's baby. It will be the most awesome baby.

And this complicated my life:

So sexy! And yet...Tony Stark! Argh! I'm so confused!

Big shocker ending on this comic! You should read it!

Countdown Week 32

I just really like that cover. Very cute.

We get to see Black Canary's Bachelorette party for the third time in this comic. But this time Piper and Trickster are there...trying to steal car keys so they can make a break for it. It's pretty fun.

And we get to see more of the party, including Wonder Woman being Captain Bring-Down:

I think it might be too late for those girls being exposed to sexist objectification, Wonder Woman. I mean, they have mirrors, right? (Zing!)

I do appreciate her effort, though.

The Green Arrow/Black Canary Wedding Special

I think that Judd Winick and Amanda Conner are a great match. They both have a goofy playfulness to what they do, so this ended up being pretty fun.

Plus, Judd Winick is a pretty big superhero friendships nerd, so I think he was the right man for the job for this.

I loved this dig at Connor:

Vegan food and slide shows! Oh man, slide shows! It's true. And I love that whole bottom panel of the party-clothes superheroes.

This scene between Wonder Woman and Superman was absolutely adorable:

So cute. Too bad he wasn't right about all that "no evil to be found" stuff. The wedding kinda had some problems.

I enjoyed all the Snapper Carr bashing in this:

I enjoyed this. I laughed out loud quite a few times. Amanda Conner was a great choice for the art because no one does cheesecake better than her. And there was a lotta sexy action in this.


JLA/Hitman #1

This was fun! I was skeptical because I don't really enjoy Garth Ennis's cynicism toward superheroes, but I liked this. It was a fun 90s throwback, and I liked having a follow-up story to Hitman #34, which had Superman having a heart-to-heart with Tommy on a rooftop.

The highlight for me was definitely Batman chewing Kyle out for once working with Tommy, only to be interrupted by Superman entering the room:


This was great. Looking forward to the next one.

Aquaman #56

I love this comic. It's fun, intelligent, great-looking, well-written and funny. So of course it's been canceled.

I'm miserable. I'm not kidding when I say that this was one of the comics that I looked most forward to every month.

I mean, just look at how great this page is!:

That's a fun page!

What I really like about Tad Williams' writing is that his characters have a very natural way of speaking. There's a lot of dialogue, and it's quippy, but not in a Bendis way. I have nothing against Bendis, but the dialogue sounds a lot more scripted in his comics. I mean, it's a comic book so you can expect some over-dramatic and clunky dialogue, but I thought the writing really stood out on this series. And the story was really exciting. I'm very sad that there is only one issue left. Boooooooo!

World War Hulk #4

We finally get to see Dr Strange, Iron Man, Mr Fantastic and Black Bolt fight each other in a gladiator arena. But we don't get to see enough of it, in my opinion. I was really looking forward to some crazy gladiator action. I guess I wouldn't have been satisfied with anything short of a major motion picture. (Oh, wouldn't that have been great? If WWHulk had just been leading up to a two hour movie of the four of them wailing on each other?).

It woulda looked a little something like this:

Reed is totally gonna smash Tony with that mace!

Good times.

Marvel Adventures: Avengers #16

Speaking of good times, this was awesome!!

Stark gets some battlesuits stolen from him, and the Avengers have to fight them.

Also, Hawkeye is there!

And Iron Man gets his pants melted off!

Aw, remember when the Avengers were fun?

Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Parallax

It's a good week for Kyle fans because you get a lot of him in this, and in JLA/Hitman.

And in this, he is super dreamy:

Man, it's a good week for hotness in my comics this week. Thanks, comics!

I enjoyed this. It was emotional and exciting and stuff.

And Kyle put his old outfit on!

It's one of those A-Hero-Battles-His-Evil-Self-Inside-His-Own-Mind comics, but that never really gets old, does it?

Superman Doomsday on DVD

Hoo boy.

Ok, this movie was flawed to say the very least. For one thing, it is way too dark and violent for kids (I lost count of the number of necks being snapped) and way too boring and lame for adults. It's just not a good movie. I'm not a fan of this story line in the comics, but this was infinitely worse. And that's too bad.

Also, it was very, very gay. And by 'gay,' I mean 'homoerotic.' And not in a good way. In the way that Lex Luthor makes a Superman clone specifically so he can take his frustrations out on him. He beats him around while wearing Kryptonite gloves and no shirt, yelling things like "Why did you leave me?!" Then he straddles him, leans in so their faces are an inch apart, and says, I swear to God, "Who's your daddy?" And I fell out of my chair. It's messed right up.

Again, not really for kids. Besides the parade of spinal snappings and Lex's sexual dysfunctions, there are scenes like, oh, I don't know, LEX SHOOTING MERCY IN THE FACE, POINT BLANK!

Cartoons are fun!