Items from the 2007 Sears Wish Book that would have BLOWN MY MIND as a kid in the 80s

As with many kids, I loved the annual Sears Wish Book's massive toy section. Because this is the beginning of the Holiday shopping season, I thought I'd take a look at the latest Sears Wish Book (now online, of course). There are items in the toy section that my six-year-old self would never believe. At the time I was trying to wrap my brain around the impossible technology that was the Flintstone Phone (How does Barney know I am talking to him?! It's magic!).

Let's take a look at the 2007 Toys available to kids who don't know how good they've got it.

The 6 ft. Mega Giga Ball
It's mega! It's...giga?! It's a ball that can crush you! And you can CLIMB INSIDE IT! This is a terrifying toy. And fantastic. Mom and Dad will love inflating all 6 ft of this wonderful ball. Your friends will be jealous as you roll right on by the school bus. You won't need public transportation anymore! You've got your own ride!

Robopanda

This ain't your grandmother's talking robot bear (that would be Teddy Ruxpin). This panda will play games, wear you out, and tuck you in. Storytime? You know it! This panda will tell you stories that you won't believe! Because Robopanda can see the future. YOUR future! Robopanda will not only be your best friend, he will replace your parents in every way. Robopanda comes with his own panda. That is how awesome Robopanda is. Also: "Robopanda can be happy, shy or feisty. So treat him nicely." No one wants a feisty Robopanda.

Transformers Electronic Arcade Jet

Are you effing kidding me?

Why am I even considering any of the major video game consoles when, for a mere $129.99, I can have a video game JET that I can RIDE while I PLAY? It runs on only three D batteries! "Accompanied by real roaring engines and vibrating action, navigate your jet fighter through the battle zone." I would love to do that! There much be a catch!

"Holds up to 59 lbs."

Ah.

iPod Docking Station with CD/CD+G Karaoke System

This. Is not. A toy.

My First Kenmore Peek-Inside Washer and Dryer

Kids love laundy! It's a fact! And they love stylish, trendy appliances! Especially ones that are made out of wood and don't do anything!

Parents - please do not buy your daughters a fake washer and dryer set for Christmas. If you do, you are the devil.

Roboquad

Roboquad will kill you in your sleep!

Note - you can set Roboquad's aggression level to 'high.' I am not kidding.

President Ronald W. Reagan Hosts State Reception 17" Doll

I think I'm going to let an excerpt from the catalogue description speak for me:

The Reagan presidency brought a sense of confidence, pride and prosperity to the nation and the beginning of a new world order.

Celebrate the accomplishments of the United States of America's fortieth president with this limited, numbered replica doll of Ronald Reagan. Reagan is dressed to the tee as he prepares to host a State Reception. Life-like and realistic, Reagan wears a tuxedo and stands approximately 17 inches tall.

Clearly this makes fun of itself.

Remote Control Mighty MegaSaurs - Dragon

Not only does this toy look awesome, but it impressively showed up when I did a search of 'girls' items in the catalogue. Nice!

Hasbro FurReal Friends Pony - Butterscotch

I guess that's cool.

Giant Plush T-Rex

Now we're talking!

Snugglers For Boys - Spider-Man

Did someone get the license plate of the truck that just ran over Spidey?

Mattel Barbie Girls - Bright Pink and Green Outfits

This is just an awesome labeling error.

Alright, I'm done. I guess I got a little distracted by crappy toys, and strayed from the topic which was supposed to be crazy toys of the future. Oh well.

The point is that the Sears Wish Book is still awesome.