Podcast - Episode 32: Captain America (1979)

Dave and I spent Valentine's Day watching the 1979 Captain America TV movie together. It was...not a good movie. But it WAS a good time.

We switched up how we do our recording this week and now I am in charge of mixing and editing and such and I think it sounds pretty good for my first kick at the can! Next week it will sound even better! Full disclosure: I do a fade-in at the beginning because there was something weird happening with the headphones so I am full-on yelling into the microphone for the first few seconds. Then I mellow out.

So, yes, the 1979 Captain America movie is amazing. But before we get to that, we talk about some other fun things, like the whole Rob Liefeld NY Times fiasco. If you haven't read it yet, here it is. He seems like a real sweetheart.

And if you want to read about Todd McFarlane's HARD R HORROR Spawn movie, you can check that article out here.

By the way, if you aren't familiar with what Dave and I are talking about when we mention the DC Super Hero Girls line, this is what we mean:

You can watch little cartoons on the site. I can't make a decision on this stuff. If I had a daughter, is this something I would be excited for her to watch. I honestly don't know! Tell me what to think!

Here's that awesome looking Dr. Strange Pop Vinyl toy we talk about:

And here are the new toys that I am saving up to buy, because do my kids really need shoes?

More info on those toys here.

There was a new Civil War trailer this week. It aired during the Super Bowl and was definitely the highlight of the game (well, this and Beyonce). It's about 40 seconds of awesomeness, including a lot of new Bucky footage!

I am so excited I can barely function. I mean, LOOK!!!!!:


I mention the hilarious (and heartbreaking) Winter Soldier memories mission in the Lego Marvel's Avengers video game. You can see that mission in this helpful gamer's video:

Here's a little taste of that Civil War Prelude comic, which you can only buy digitally for now. You can find it on Comixology here. Here's a little taste of Bucky in his Romanian hide-out, remembering the bad times:

Ok, so this Captain America movie. As you may recall, I bought the DVD that collects both of the 1979 movies for Dave for Christmas. Here is the trailer for the first one:

From that trailer you might think this movie is a reasonably fast paced. It is not. It is the slowest movie ever. Like, when an oil truck is dumping crude onto the road as part of a (bad) plot to kill Steve Rogers, they show ALL of the oil dumping out of the truck. They paid for that oil, and we're gonna watch every last drop of it hit the pavement.

This movie did not leave much on the cutting room floor, I'm guessing.

There's a clip reel that has highlights from both movies. Based on it, the second movie (any clip where he's wearing the more classic looking Captain America suit) looks a lot more action packed:

Here's the thing about the costume in the first movie: the shorts are WAY too tight for ol' Reb Brown:

And this is how he looks as Steve Rogers:

I forgot to mention on the show that his eyebrows were such a mess. I was obsessed with fixing them.

We get very few sexy moments. This beach scene was one, I guess:

That's Steve Rogers doing what Steve likes doing best: lounging around.

I didn't even catch that he's an ex-Marine in this movie. I have no idea when they mentioned that. Because I say on the show that they should have at least made him a soldier or a former soldier. I guess they did. But now he just wants to drive his sweet van and look at the ocean. His sweet van, by the way:

But, man, that scene where Steve is given his shield for the first time? I wish I could find a clip because I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. Here's a still:

So, yes. Amazing. And so boring. It's hard to believe this was ever made. Good job, 1970s.

That's it for this week. I hope you find this episode sounds better than usual. We are going to start using a mixing board and XLR mics next week, so that should sound even better! Thanks for listening!

Sears Wish Book 2009: Disappointing!

I like to check in with the Sears Wish Book each year to see what new and insane toys are available. This year was a bit of a disappointment because Sears has switched their online format to an interactive catalogue that does not offer large, downloadable images. Also, as toys become more like tech gadgets and less like toys, there is less to make fun of. The toy section of the Wish Book is frankly pretty boring these days.

But I did manage to find a few gems. You'll just have to click on the links to see larger images on the actual Sears site.

Star Wars  Count Dooku Force FX Lightsaber Collectible

Now, I will admit that I don't know much about this newfangled Star Wars all the kids are talking about, but...is Count Dooku...popular? Because this is the only lightsaber being offered in this year's Wish Book. And it's $120. And it appears to be bent. 


My First Craftsman Light-Up Air Compressor Set

Ah, I remember the Christmas that my parents bought me my first Craftsman light-up air compressor set. Seems like only yesterday I was using it to inflate the cat.

Step 2 Lifestyle Dream Kitchen

I know I have complained about these fake kitchen sets for young girls before, but seriously. This one is 160 damn dollars and it features a "stainless steel" oven as well as granite-styled counter tops. This shit is just insane.

There's also this:

My First Kenmore Beeping Timer Oven, Open-and-Close Refrigerator and Play-Spray Sink

Man, where are you even going to put all that? The entire My First Kenmore line is pretty upsetting. Mostly because they are all very crappy toys.

Interactive Toy Duck Hunter Indoor Flying Duck Hunt Game

And now I am going to switch categories completely by highlighting this crazy thing. From what I can tell, this is similar to the old Nintendo Duck Hunter game, except in this version you are shooting a fake gun at a fake robot duck that is madly flapping around your living room. And you will be a full-grown man while doing this, wearing camouflage gear. I can't think of a single thing that would make this a bad idea.

Fisher-Price Power Wheels Cadillac Escalade EX

Well this is sweet because now your toddler can pretend to be Missy Elliot or Avon Barksdale.


Moxie Girlz Jammaz Sleepover Kit

This kit claims to have everything you'll need for the best sleepover in town, but it looks more like everything you need to attend a 1973 Elton John concert.

Baby Alive Whoopsie Doo

This doll not only will consume fluid and wet itself...it also poops! And that is just disgusting.

In Times of Economic Uncertainty, We Turn to the Sears Wish Book for Comfort

I've been busy lately...but not too busy to check out this year's Sears Wish Book! Because it's that time of year again! Last year I shared some of the most alarming and lame offerings of the toy section of the beloved catalog. Here's round two of this feature, soon to become an annual holiday favourite:

Batman The Dark Knight Mega Cape Accessory Set

I look at this and all I can see are lamps and vases being knocked over.

Oh, and I see a pretty crappy Batman costume.

Wowwee Remote-Controlled 'Bladestar' Animal Robot

As far as I can tell, this is a flying, rotating, double-blade. It also has a "fighting feature" and "autopilot mode." This toy is not a good idea.

Canada Find It!

I think if you were to pan back on this photo, you would see tears streaming down this kid's face.

Vtech V.Smile Motion Wireless Controller

Maybe I'm getting old, but I have no idea what the hell this is. And the description does not help:

  • NEW!
  • left or right-hand use
  • bilingual
  • ages 3-7 years


Playskool Kota Triceratops

I was looking at this trying to figure out what I love about so much. I think it's this: the kid and the triceratops have the same facial expression.

'Wipe Out' Combat Simulation Double Game Set

We need more toys that allow kids to just shoot the shit out of each other.

Fisher-price Ultimate Dino

Ultimate is right! Look at this thing! It's awesome! And that kid knows it!

Uncle Milton Rainbow in my Room

Kid, I can sell you something that will replicate this very product for three bucks a hit.

Play-Doh Meal Makin' Kitchen

Times are tight, and Play-Doh is a cheap substitute for food. You may as well get them started on it early. It's the only way they will acquire a taste for it.

MSX Pro Stunt T-Rex Terror Ripper Set

This toy is proof that, even if it seems silly on paper, adding one awesome thing to any other awesome thing is VERY AWESOME.

Hannah Montana Child's Wig

"Yeah, bitch. Jealous?"

Boys 3-Piece Superhero Costume

It took me a really long time to identify the costume on the right as Batman. I was like "Hulk, Superman, Spider-Man and...Tron? Some sort of robot? A manhole cover?"

'Don't Forget the Lyrics' Game


Chocolart House Creation

To me, this is just adding annoying steps to the process of obtaining chocolate and putting it in my mouth. That kid knows what I'm saying.

Step-2 Fifties-style Diner Playset

Y'know what kids love?

Retro kitsch!

Doctor Role-Play Set

This is an unfortunately-named toy.

Batman The Dark Knight Wayne Tech Tri-Fire Blaster


Batman does not use this. Not ever.

Marvel Iron Man Crossover


Iron Man does not do this. Not ever.

Bella Beau Pet City Stroller Set

Is this really what you want your daughter to be?

Baby Born 'Mommy Look I Can Swim!'


"Mommy Look I Can Devour Your Soul!"


Little Tikes Deluxe Wood Kitchen and Laundry Center


It even is described as having "granite-look countertops." Because kids won't stand for anything less in their fake kitchen/laundry facilities.

I love that the boy in the picture is just leaning on the counter, watching the girl load the dryer. Wondering when dinner is going to be ready.

Portable Winter Soldier

I don't know about you guys, but I really like those Marvel Classic lead figurines that Eaglemoss has been putting out.

And coming soon...Winter Soldier!!

Oh, sexy Winter Soldier. There you are in all your shaggy-haired glory. Machine gun, bionic arm...sexy, sexy leg holster. I could spend years in the trenches with you.

This is a guaranteed way for me to die of lead poisoning. I cannot guarantee that I will not lick this figurine.

And since we're on the subject of these rad lead figures, coming soon from Eaglemoss...DC lead figurines!!! Oh man...I can't wait for...all of them.

Check out Lex Luthor:

Awesome. I want a Booster Gold and a Blue Beetle! And a Jonah Hex! And a Batgirl! And a Phantom Stranger! And five Batmans! Eeeee!

Items from the 2007 Sears Wish Book that would have BLOWN MY MIND as a kid in the 80s

As with many kids, I loved the annual Sears Wish Book's massive toy section. Because this is the beginning of the Holiday shopping season, I thought I'd take a look at the latest Sears Wish Book (now online, of course). There are items in the toy section that my six-year-old self would never believe. At the time I was trying to wrap my brain around the impossible technology that was the Flintstone Phone (How does Barney know I am talking to him?! It's magic!).

Let's take a look at the 2007 Toys available to kids who don't know how good they've got it.

The 6 ft. Mega Giga Ball
It's mega! It's...giga?! It's a ball that can crush you! And you can CLIMB INSIDE IT! This is a terrifying toy. And fantastic. Mom and Dad will love inflating all 6 ft of this wonderful ball. Your friends will be jealous as you roll right on by the school bus. You won't need public transportation anymore! You've got your own ride!


This ain't your grandmother's talking robot bear (that would be Teddy Ruxpin). This panda will play games, wear you out, and tuck you in. Storytime? You know it! This panda will tell you stories that you won't believe! Because Robopanda can see the future. YOUR future! Robopanda will not only be your best friend, he will replace your parents in every way. Robopanda comes with his own panda. That is how awesome Robopanda is. Also: "Robopanda can be happy, shy or feisty. So treat him nicely." No one wants a feisty Robopanda.

Transformers Electronic Arcade Jet

Are you effing kidding me?

Why am I even considering any of the major video game consoles when, for a mere $129.99, I can have a video game JET that I can RIDE while I PLAY? It runs on only three D batteries! "Accompanied by real roaring engines and vibrating action, navigate your jet fighter through the battle zone." I would love to do that! There much be a catch!

"Holds up to 59 lbs."


iPod Docking Station with CD/CD+G Karaoke System

This. Is not. A toy.

My First Kenmore Peek-Inside Washer and Dryer

Kids love laundy! It's a fact! And they love stylish, trendy appliances! Especially ones that are made out of wood and don't do anything!

Parents - please do not buy your daughters a fake washer and dryer set for Christmas. If you do, you are the devil.


Roboquad will kill you in your sleep!

Note - you can set Roboquad's aggression level to 'high.' I am not kidding.

President Ronald W. Reagan Hosts State Reception 17" Doll

I think I'm going to let an excerpt from the catalogue description speak for me:

The Reagan presidency brought a sense of confidence, pride and prosperity to the nation and the beginning of a new world order.

Celebrate the accomplishments of the United States of America's fortieth president with this limited, numbered replica doll of Ronald Reagan. Reagan is dressed to the tee as he prepares to host a State Reception. Life-like and realistic, Reagan wears a tuxedo and stands approximately 17 inches tall.

Clearly this makes fun of itself.

Remote Control Mighty MegaSaurs - Dragon

Not only does this toy look awesome, but it impressively showed up when I did a search of 'girls' items in the catalogue. Nice!

Hasbro FurReal Friends Pony - Butterscotch

I guess that's cool.

Giant Plush T-Rex

Now we're talking!

Snugglers For Boys - Spider-Man

Did someone get the license plate of the truck that just ran over Spidey?

Mattel Barbie Girls - Bright Pink and Green Outfits

This is just an awesome labeling error.

Alright, I'm done. I guess I got a little distracted by crappy toys, and strayed from the topic which was supposed to be crazy toys of the future. Oh well.

The point is that the Sears Wish Book is still awesome.