HAT WEEK: HATS!

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In celebration of HAT WEEK, I am going to take a look at some very real super hero hats that you can buy and wear (though I would not recommend it).

First we have a Superman cap plastered with Jim Lee artwork. This hat blatantly ignores the "less is more" philosophy:

  "SO, DO YOU LIKE SUPERMAN?"

"SO, DO YOU LIKE SUPERMAN?"

And if Superman isn't your thing, but you are still into hideous hats and Jim Lee artwork, the cap also is available in Batman:

  "HAVE YOU EVER READ HUSH, BRO?"

"HAVE YOU EVER READ HUSH, BRO?"

This next hat seems like a pretty straightforward, though still terrible, Death of Superman hat:

  NEVER FORGET.

NEVER FORGET.

Except wait! It's not that at all! It's actually part of a series of hats featuring superhero logos that have been splattered in paint:

  THE FLASH CAN OUTRUN EVERYTHING...EXCEPT A BUCKET OF PAINT.

THE FLASH CAN OUTRUN EVERYTHING...EXCEPT A BUCKET OF PAINT.

Of course there are plenty of Dark Knight Joker hats, none of which should be worn by anyone:

  I'M NOT SURE WHO THINKS THEY CAN PULL THIS OFF, BUT THEY ARE WRONG.

I'M NOT SURE WHO THINKS THEY CAN PULL THIS OFF, BUT THEY ARE WRONG.

  "HMMM...I THINK I'LL WEAR MY FORMAL DARK KNIGHT JOKER CAP TONIGHT."

"HMMM...I THINK I'LL WEAR MY FORMAL DARK KNIGHT JOKER CAP TONIGHT."

  NEVER FORGET.

NEVER FORGET.

There's a confusing series of Marvel hats that feature other Marvel logos with Wolverine slashes through them. I guess it's like the Marvel equivalent of having Calvin peeing on a Chevy logo:

  HAHA! FUCK YOU, FANTASTIC FOUR!

HAHA! FUCK YOU, FANTASTIC FOUR!

  SPIDER-MAN? MORE LIKE SPIDER-DICK!

SPIDER-MAN? MORE LIKE SPIDER-DICK!

This is a very intense movie Batman hat that just looks insane to me. Although if I were talking to someone who was wearing it, I would probably be staring dreamily at their forehead the whole time:

  "HELLO RACHELLE. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE NERD BELOW ME. YOU NEED ONLY SPEAK TO ME."

"HELLO RACHELLE. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE NERD BELOW ME. YOU NEED ONLY SPEAK TO ME."

This hat is, for real, just straight up awesome:

  IF I WORE BALLCAPS, I WOULD WEAR THIS ALL THE TIME.

IF I WORE BALLCAPS, I WOULD WEAR THIS ALL THE TIME.

This hat is straight up terrifying:

  "I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR BLIND DATE. I'LL BE THE ONE WEARING CAPTAIN AMERICA'S HEAD ON MY HEAD.

"I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR BLIND DATE. I'LL BE THE ONE WEARING CAPTAIN AMERICA'S HEAD ON MY HEAD.

Hey, I know there's really no limits to how tacky your Punisher merchandise can be. But if there were a limit, I would say this hat is dangerously close to it:

  "AW MAN, THE PUNISHER IS SO FUCKING DOPE. HE, LIKE, SHOOTS SHIT AND SHIT."

"AW MAN, THE PUNISHER IS SO FUCKING DOPE. HE, LIKE, SHOOTS SHIT AND SHIT."

  "AND HE'S GOT A SKULL ON HIS SHIRT. HE'S EVEN COOLER THAN VENOM."

"AND HE'S GOT A SKULL ON HIS SHIRT. HE'S EVEN COOLER THAN VENOM."

And finally, Superman would never wear this:

  UNLESS BATMAN TOLD HIM TO.

UNLESS BATMAN TOLD HIM TO.