Dispatches From London: Retrospect Roundup

Hello all. Johnathan here, back in Canada and fortified with a Thanksgiving meal of my own devising. My system seems to be in slight shock over the prospect of not eating at a restaurant for the first time in literally one week, but I'm confident that the wholesome foodstuffs will prevail.

As mentioned in my last post, I headed back to the British Museum one last time on Saturday night, long after it closed. You see, while admiring the treasures of Sutton Hoo earlier that day, I had espied one Johnny Spectacles, acting suspicious among the antiquities. I trailed him to the Assyrian exhibit, where he made a mysterious exit under the cover of a winged lion. My curiosity was piqued: after all, Spectacles was supposed to be aiding John Thane in investigating a rash of burglaries in an entirely different part of the city. I resolved to investigate further.

Upon my return, a shocking discovery! First, Johnny Spectacles was deep in conversation with none other than the Ghost of Darwin! Second, through snatches of conversation I was able to ascertain that Johnny Spectacles was not in fact the other-dimensional twin of John Thane but an artificially-evolved rattus norvegicus, created as part of one of that bearded fiend's unfathomable long-range schemes, one that was coming to fruition at that very moment! What's more, they had John Thane trapped in the bounds of a mystical tetrahedron, no doubt to be messily destroyed at some later date.

I'll spare you the details and nitpickery, but suffice to say that together with a freed John Thane I managed to foil Darwin, plus I got to fight some mummies! Well, I think that they were actually some sort of bandage-dwelling fungus that Darwin had spot-evolved to lurch around and attack us, but the point is that I fought mummies in the British Museum, and that's a memory that will last forever.

Dispatches From London: Dispatch the Third

Events have transpired!

On the more mundane end of things, I finally had the full English breakfast and it haunts me yet. Even through the haze of an enormous Spanish meal I can still feel the haunting presence of beans on toast, fried egg, tomato and all of their friends.

Big surprise, though! I spent most of the day at the Britsh Museum and have made a very interesting discovery about our friend Johnny Spectacles. Tonight shall be a busy time, oh yes. More on my triumphant return to Canada.


Dispatches From London: Dispatch the Second

Johnny Spectacles is still being a Thane-hog, so I have no tales of grand adventure to share (though Darwin's Ghost has been making nightly appearances in my hotel room to taunt me. I WILL find your evolvo-ray, old man! I swear it!).

In the meantime, I took in the Wallace Collection, and it was amazing. First, there was the art, of which this fine fellow:


was the highlight. But even more spectacular was the weapon collection. Remember in the AD&D Player's Handbook, how they had just pages upon pages of medieval-style weaponry? I have now seen almost all of them in person. Even the polearms. Hooray! 

Dispatches From London: Dispatch the First

Not much to report so far, I'm afraid. I made phone contact with John Thane, the Johnathan of Britain, but it turns out that I managed to show up right in the middle of his annual teamup with his Earth Z counterpart Johnny Spectacles.

Oh! And I went to Westminster Abbey, where I picked up some very valuable clues that will surely help me plunder the treasures of Darwin's Tomb. Wish me luck!