Archie Sunday: Matter Over Mind

Get Reggie to tell you what he likes: he will not lie, though other Riverdale teens may deny. When a girl walks by with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in his face, he gets sprung - to the extent that he completely ignores his date and eats her ice cream by mistake. 

Also, none of the songs that he writes are any good.

Archie Sunday: A Terrifying Vision of Things to Come

Last week, Rachelle finished telling us the tale of what happens in the hypothetical future in which Archie marries Veronica and knocks her up good. At the end of that story, as many had guessed might happen, Archie takes a stroll toward a second possibly tomorrow, in which Betty is the one he ties the knot with (and there'll probably be some procreation there, too). But how will Veronica react to an Andrews/Cooper wedding? Don't worry, there's no need to spend the next couple of months fretfully biting your nails: Archie Comics No. 85 revealed all to the world way back in 1957:

First, the set-up. Archie and Betty are auditioning to be the most adorable DJs ever. Just as cute as can be, I swear. They do a great job, but the radio executives (on right, peering thoughtfully) need to confer for a few minutes before saying yes. Archie goes out on the street to wait, while Betty stays inside.

Archie encounters Veronica. Hilarity of that particular Riverdalian variety ensues:

And then Betty brings news, in her own super-clear way:

 "Yes, engaged, meaning hired in this context!" Hee hee, no. No, Misunderstanding is the order of the day for America's Typical Teens.

 Now here's the important part: what does Veronica do when she feels spurned and betrayed?

 Yes, she goes out and does something ill-advised out of pure spite.

 Nowadays, I guess that she's get some facial tattoos and experiment with polyamory with Dilton and Big Ethel, but the principle's the same: once Archie rejects Veronica, she's liable to do just about anything.

I was going to stop there but Jughead's reactions are so great:

 Good night everybody!